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Page 1 of 6 We open the show with Jill calling her mother. Jill tells her about the work on Habitat for Humanity. She’s talking about Lisa emailing a friend about building this house for the Mexicans. Lisa is telling TJ she feels that yesterday was a setback. In confessional, Jill says she’s not going to accept Lisa’s excuse of being a child anymore. TJ says something to Lisa about not being able to get the dream of being rich and Lisa replies that you can if you marry it. TJ asks why she’s in the house then – it’s a contradiction. Lisa says no, that she just made a point that you can marry it. In confessional, TJ says Lisa lives in a fantasyland so it makes sense that a billionaire would whisk her away and solve all her problems. Lisa says if she just wanted to marry a rich man she could; that’s not what she wants. She wants it all.
The ladies gather for group with Iyanla. Iyanla passes each of the women a balloon and asks them to blow all their objections to the thought “I am enough”. Lisa’s never blown a balloon. In confessional, she says she didn’t really socialize with other kids. Iyanla instructs them to hold the balloons up and release them. She says that’s what happens when you don’t think you’re enough and you people please. You let other people fill you up and the minute they don’t, you get deflated. So the topic today is people pleasing. Allison people pleases by supporting others instead of herself. Jill says the goal there is to be liked. TJ says it’s to feel included. Allison says it’s to be valued. Jessica is asked by Iyanla if she’s witnessed anyone in the house people please. She says Allison. TJ says Lisa; she goes overboard in giving. Iyanla points out that TJ judged Lisa in her statement. TJ clarifies that she meant overcompensating. Lisa says she gets that, but when she hears “too sweet” and “too much” it feels like a judgment. In confessional, Lisa says TJ better watch her step because she doesn’t want her aggressive tendencies to come out…on TJ’s face for example. Iyanla stresses to TJ how the judgment came into play and advises her to be mindful of that. She wraps the session up.
Rhonda arrives and meets with Lisa. They walk to the tombstone for Lisa’s dependency. Rhonda wants to remind her that life is not full of ups only. Lisa says she feels somehow that her dependency on her parents somehow keeps her alive. Rhonda notes that it’s almost like it keeps her parents alive too and that may go back to the molestation. Rhonda reminds us in confessional that Lisa was repeatedly molested. She was threatened that if she said no, her parents would be killed. This has contributed greatly to Lisa’s inability to say no. She tells Lisa that her perpetrator took her decision making ability away. Lisa cries that it keeps coming up though she’s tried to forget it. Rhonda tells her it’s coming up so she can learn to say no to all the men who are going to come and try to abuse her. Lisa has to learn to say no to her parents. She is not responsible for keeping her parents alive. Today’s assignment will challenge her. Rhonda wants to talk to Jill about it.
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