Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

No.. Fortunately I didn't.. I had some good role models outside of my family.. I met my husband at a young adult group when we were in our early 20's.. He had a wonderful role model! His father is a peach.. and 84 today! God Bless him! He is mellow and easy going, just like his dad.. To put up with me and my disorganization he has to be! We actually balance each other out pretty decently and complement one other. His mother is more high strung.. and bossy (domineering)... and my husband's brother tends to be a bit more like his mother.

I think alot of things shape us into who we ultimately become.. Now some of the deep rooted insecurities we have I think tend to be shaped by how we were raised. Of course, once in awhile, I frustrate my own kids by being too critical.. I try to be quick to apologize and acknowledge my blunder when that happens.. I know that a word said in haste and in the wrong way (tone) can stay with you a very long time! My kids know I love them very much... and they are very aware of who I got it from. My father drives us all crazy.. We love him...but he drives us crazy none the less!

I am very blessed! My kids adore their father! I hope they adore me too! But I probably have more quirks than he does! LOL!

My husband and I communicate very well.. We make it a point to get away at least once a year all by ourselves! This year we got away in March to celebrate our 25th anniversary! (We went to Florida for a whole week!) I've already told him I want to go to Alaska for our 30th! This winter we'll just go up to West Va. to our favorite getaway.. They have wonderful jacuzzi's in every room! Now that we are almost empty nesters... I'd love to get a jacuzzi once everyone has flown the coup! Except my bathrooms are too small for the big kind!

My sister did marry someone similar to our father.. It was a huge problem for many many years. But my bil has mellowed too. In part because he gave up alcohol and has also been on an anti depressant for a few years. He didn't have a great homelife either. Many of us baby boomers didn't have parents who benefitted from talk shows and books and magazines helping them navigate the maze called parenthood. Many, and my own included, followed by example from their parents.

I don't envy parents with younger kids these days. There are so many influences bombarding our kids.. I just got lucky!

Sorry for the lengthy reply. You know me... Motor mouth!

You have got to be kidding me....Matt goes out and buys a barbeque and that is disrespectful to his wife. I mean...come on...it's a bbq...it's not a Cadillac.

I like the show. But Jeremy and Zach are rude and disrespectful, especially to their father. That never flew when I was a kid, and I didn't put up with it as a parent, so it wasn't ever really an issue in my household.

I think Amy is a little bit too controlling myself. I think she disrespects Matt in front of those children, and I don't think that sets a very good example for the kids.

Maybe disrespect is too strong a term. How about inconsiderate?

Especially if she'll be the one using it.. Alot might depend on why he bought it.. Matt seems to be impulsive sometimes. Maybe he got it at a significant discount.. and took advantage of it..

But I saw her using it in a clip... and since they are little people.. using the thing safely definitely should be a consideration.

I hope most people understand what I was saying even if I didn't word it perfectly...

It looked like a substantial grill.. Not your walmart variety.. Easily could have been $1000.00.. I just think it better to make decisions about large purchase together as much as is possible. Of course $1,000 to one family could be chump change to someone else. In our house..that would be a major purchase..

I do agree that parents should have a united front as much as possible in front of the kids..and if there is any conflict that it be resolved quietly and away from the kids. Kids do learn by example.. Be it sarcasm, criticism, or refraining of openly doing those things. The kids will come to think of their house being pretty normal.. As long as there is balance there.. You have to work at balance. Sometimes it gets out of whack.

I know the other week when Jacob was acting up on one particular episode.. they threatened to make him stay home from the beach trip. I thought he was supposed to... and then he went anyway. I haven't seen alot of discipline dolled out. I get the impression that the day to day running of the house and overseeing the kids schedules is Amy's area. I'm sure it's overwhelming sometimes. Sometimes Matt comes across as a big kid too!

I think they are a loving family though, warts and all!

As Matt mentioned in a blog at the TLC site... they too are learning from the show, to see themselves as others see them.. and are trying to make positive changes.

Debby wrote:

QUOTE:
Yes, that was Casey. I think Matt is right on about her. She is definitely a catch....Cute girl with a great head on her shoulders. She seems to be much better proportioned than many of the little people. I can see why Zach was really drawn to her. She's a great little swimmer too. Perhaps there may be a future for them.

I wonder if the young little people decide to attend the same colleges so they can have a peer around. That would make sense to me.

You described your dad as ruling with an iron fist. Did you pick a husband who does the same thing? Just curious. I've read theories that we grew up and try to find our troubled parent and fix them. So we choose a mate that is similar to one of our parents, usually the one we had the most conflict with and try to fix them, so that finally we have that relationship we yearned for in childhood. Not saying this is an accurate theory but it kinda makes sense.

Hey Debby! Can I jump in here too............yeah like I'd wait to start posting, eh??????

About Casey.....she was so adorable!! She's got such a great future ahead of her!!!! I love her attitude!!


RE: marrying a parent.

The three of us are different in our choices, my brother and I each chose someone who was not like our extremely dysfunctional and abusive parents. My sister chose a cheater/abuser the first time (like mom) and a depressed/apathetic one currently (like dad).

She and some other friends have said that I'm just lucky. I don't think so. It was very much a choice! Even though I had not yet begun to come to terms with my childhood, I did know what I wanted for a spouse and what kind of father I wanted for my future children!! I think it's often an easy solution or opportunity to jump into a relationship that's similar to what we grew up with, but that it still comes down to choices. It's a very interesting topic I think and my friends and I have enjoyed many a conversation ourselves!!!


KPW.........congrats on the big 25!!!

We just celebrated 17 this summer and our oldest has her sweet 16 next month.......my goodness am I ***really*** getting that old??????

Thanks Grizz. Just so you know... that was back in March.. Working on 26 now!

Bad News re: the Roloff family. I just stumbled on something accidentally..

Apparently there was an accident at the farm on Saturday and Jacob was hurt badly as was a family friend. Seems the pumpkin catapult malfunctioned or something and Jacob got hit in the face. He is in serious condition but expected to make a full recovery.

Here is a link.. I hadn't been at the TLC site..but there supposedly is a statement by Matt there about the incident.
http://www.tvenvy.com/index.php/tvenvy/article/little-people-big-world-star-injured-10300910/

On further looking at the article.. Sounds like they were both treated and released. I guess it could have been alot worse..

I wonder if he'll keep the pumpkin launcher now?

Here is a link to the pertinent page at TLC.
http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/lpbw/jacob_news.html