Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I absolutely believe Lisa's account of sexual abuse, and the resulting inability to feel. The sad thing is, when you try to shut down the bad feelings...you cut the joy off too. It's a wonderful trick of the psyche...saving a child from emotions that they are unable to handle, at the time. However, they will come to the fore, and even 'tho you might still feel unable, it's time, then, to deal with them. It can even effect your ability to cry...hard to let go after choking them back all these years.
Lisa's visitor was right on the money, telling her to pay attention to what her stomach felt like when she talked about it. It would likely have been "roiling" just as it did at the time of the abuse.
You can shut off your emotions...but , your body knows.
I was sorry for her...now that she is ready to talk about it...somebody needs to listen! Nothing worse than to be made to feel your story is insignificant when you finally "tell." I thought the support from the housemates was sadly lacking today.

Thanks for the insight

crunch1 wrote:

QUOTE:
Thanks for the insight

Well, thank you for that...and welcome "aboard!"

Well now, I like Lisa and understand her story...and while I am glad that she is getting in touch with her feelings ...today I wished that
Rhonda had told her that the ...acknowledgment ...of her anger was the important thing, not necessarily spreading it around!!
On the other hand....TJ ...could?...mind HER own business, for a change!! I just wanted to call a general time out today, and make 'em all go sit in the "naughty chair!"

They did need a time out, Lisa knew what she said would get the drama started.

Just like a teen or tween, resorting to "I was just kidding"... when being called on their stuff. The eye rolling, the tears... almost all of behaviors are very typical of a tween and teen.

This time around, I'm seeing her alot more like a young teen. But even with young teens it's because they are trying on their autonomy.. and outgrow it reasonably quickly..

She might be stuck because something happened besides her parents spoiling her, but sometimes she doesn't even seem like she is trying. And she just uses whatever excuse might seem to fly at the moment.

She has all these light bulb moments "I get it"...but doesn't really!
I think she just says it to get people off her case.. She does it alot with Rhonda... while explaining the deep lessons she's learned about herself via the exercises.

Then of course... we never see her progress and she continues to stumble along with her housemates and exercises. So she is only externalizing the lessons and not internalizing them.


Does anyone remember if she ever said she shared with her parents during her stint on the show... What supposedly happened with her friends brother? Might they have in their guilt, been indulging her if they've at least known about it these last 20 years or so?

I don't think we ever really got a full picture of Lisa's life growing up. I think it was stated that her mom worked.. But did Lisa have any responsibilities at home? I doubt it...

It's clear that her parents love her and indulge her. I do remember them saying that the mother didn't know about some of the other monies and credit card her dad had given her.