Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I will add though... That I am seeing her in a little different light this time...

I am seeing her as though she were a rebellious 13 year old... rather than a conniving manipulator... Although 13 year olds can do that... It's not intentional.. Just a lack of maturity. She's all talk and no substance...

I do hope she got something positive out of the experience.. Trying new things.. Doing what it takes even though you might not like it.. Being persistant.. Setting goals, Prioritizing.

Once I heard earlier in the year that she might have been one of the board regulars last year... that was 'out there' personna wise.. wacky and always trying to be the life of the party... I thought the rumor was probably true and that she may have applied purely as a lark... since she had nothing better to do with her time.. But maybe she did want to change...

Sometimes I just don't see her taking things very seriously.. Only when she is afraid of getting in trouble... Just like a teenager or a little kid! She can talk the talk and tell Rhonda what she's learning...but she's not walking the walk yet...

She's one way with Rhonda and another with her housemates..
Isn't that how kids are with their parents versus their friends? At least to some degree. Maybe that is why she is so scared of Rhonda..

she is like a 13 year old and see Rhonda as the mom who she does not want to make mad.

I've seen 13 yr. olds (and, younger kids, in fact) be extremely manipulative and very intelligent in their behaviors!!!

happygirl wrote:

QUOTE:
she is like a 13 year old and see Rhonda as the mom who she does not want to make mad.

This is so true. Lisa seemed to always have a warped approach to the assignments. It never seemed to be about trusting the process or learining something about herself. It always seemed to be a game a teenager would be likely to play, such as, "I hope I don't get into trouble," or "I hope I can pull this off," or I hope I played my cars right," or I hope I can fake my way out of any rough spots." This is much of what turned me off about Lisa.

Isn't it normal as a human being, to just naturally want to do the right thing, at least some of the time?

In the original airing, I did not feel strongly one way or the other about Lisa. This time I am remembering what
I learned, years ago, about being sort of "frozen in time" by some
pivotal event. You sort of stop growing, in the emotional sense.
I find that I am paying much closer attention this time around.
If you are made to feel "wrong" often enough, it can stop you even trying to do the right thing...feeling that you will only get it wrong again, and not even recalling how that came to be.
I once read great advice...and followed up on it..."go back over your life, write it down...everything you can remember...when you are done, you will have your life back." (and the pivotal moment will be SO obvious!). I wish that I could tell Lisa that...or anybody
else who is "stuck there!"

ceilidh wrote:

QUOTE:
In the original airing, I did not feel strongly one way or the other about Lisa. This time I am remembering what
I learned, years ago, about being sort of "frozen in time" by some
pivotal event.
I once read great advice...and followed up on it..."go back over your life, write it down...everything you can remember...when you are done, you will have your life back." (and the pivotal moment will be SO obvious!). I wish that I could tell Lisa that...or anybody
else who is "stuck there!":)

Are you referring to what Dr. Phil calls 7 major incidents in your life? I have read a little bit about that some time ago. I tried to assess what my moments were, but, there were soooo many. How can you choose?

Are you saying that Lisa is the way she is because she is stuck....that perhaps when she was young she tried to do things differently and was put down for it or ignored or for whatever reason grew to believe that no matter how hard she tried she would not ever get any different outcome, so, she stopped trying?

I wonder if Lisa just never had any reason to do things differently. If she was having all of her needs met, just as she was, why change?