Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I found Cassie's dramatics and whining to be so exhausting. Her pursuit of this boy and his family was wrong. Had I been the adoptive Mom I may not have lied to my son but would have moved heaven and earth to keep this wack job away from him.
She chose to use drugs before, during and after the birth
She chose to not use birth control
She chose to give the baby up for adoption
She probably (from her addict days) has little cognitive memory of exactly WHAT the adoption terms were.

It was the responsibility of the adoptive parents to keep that child safe not to pacify or welcome Cassie into their lives. Her being adopted by them was not part of the deal. To show up at their home loaded for 4 years after the birth borders on criminal.
I believed the show really erred when they supported the reunion. What is occuring is too personal and far to emotionally damaging to all involved. Cassie is a selfish whiney child that got her way on TV.

Gee. you are sure HARD on Cassie. I learned a long time ago that you never really know what another person is feeling and I think Cassie is full of regret and hoping to find some "forgiveness" and compassion. Her son is an adult now. Adoptive parents no longer have to protect him from her.

the adoptive parents wronged Cassie they tricked her into thinking it was a open adoption, they took a young girl who was scared, vulnerable, not very smart and took advantage of her. I am glad she called him she deserves her son.

I'm an adoptive parent and the chances of my children reuniting with their birthmother are slim. However, I would welcome any information I could get from their family because there's so much I don't know. The adoptive parents were wrong to not tell their son the whole truth. My kids have known they were adopted from the beginning. The only thing that bothered me most about the show is the term "give up for adoption". Mothers don't give up their children, they might put them up for adotion but they never give them up.

Thank goodness for Cassie's son that he has some family history in case he really needs it.

happygirl wrote:

QUOTE:
the adoptive parents wronged Cassie they tricked her into thinking it was a open adoption, they took a young girl who was scared, vulnerable, not very smart and took advantage of her. I am glad she called him she deserves her son.

"Open Adoption" means that the adoption records are open. It in no way means what Casssie has tried to fool people into believing, that she, Cassie could visit and have an on going relationship with her birth son.

As for what Cassie "deserves"? She deserves to be a responsible adult. She deserves to take personal responsibility, and stop living off the kindness of strangers. It is high time that Cassie stops playing the "Victim" and move on.

Do I think it was OK for the adoptive parents to lie to their son, NO! But, Cassie's past behavior is not to be excused either. They all made mistakes.

LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
happygirl wrote:

QUOTE:
the adoptive parents wronged Cassie they tricked her into thinking it was a open adoption, they took a young girl who was scared, vulnerable, not very smart and took advantage of her. I am glad she called him she deserves her son.

"Open Adoption" means that the adoption records are open. It in no way means what Casssie has tried to fool people into believing, that she, Cassie could visit and have an on going relationship with her birth son.

As for what Cassie "deserves"? She deserves to be a responsible adult. She deserves to take personal responsibility, and stop living off the kindness of strangers. It is high time that Cassie stops playing the "Victim" and move on.

Do I think it was OK for the adoptive parents to lie to their son, NO! But, Cassie's past behavior is not to be excused either. They all made mistakes.

I'm sorry, I think open adoption can be a multiple meaning term...

I found a site that explains it more fully.
http://www.adoptionoptions.com/whyopen.html

I think Cassie chose this family and she may very well have chosen this family based on assurances that she could have some small part of his life as time went on..

I think she was very naive and probably let them handle all the details. I doubt that she had good representation for what her rights were... or even good guidance in making the decision.

As it came out... Dustin should have known he was adopted all along...but was denied this basic tenet of 'open adoption'..

Open adoption...is just not about paperwork...