|
The women meet Ilanya at the tennis court at 9 am. It is raining. Ilanya says she wants them to teach her how to ride a bicycle. They start telling her the steps she needs to take to learn, how to straddle it, to put her feet on the pedals and how to rotate the pedals. They encircle her and hold her steady.
Christina in confessional is laughing and says she’s trying to find the lesson in this. She assumes it’s something to do with taking steps.
Ilanya continues to have difficulties with the bike. They are all talking at once, telling her what to do, shouting orders. Ilanya is wobbling and then they’re all taking her for a ride, holding her on the bike.
Alison is in the kitchen cleaning and says to the camera she knows she’s near graduation and she feels ready but not prepared. She is in a graduation watch and is taking it seriously but it’s so hard, she’s so scared, but knows it’s where she has to go.
They women go into the house for group. Ilanya asks them what they have mastered in their lives. What is mastering? Someone says it is excellence. She asks, how do you get to that state? They answer: practice, determination, perseverance. Ilanya then asks, what is it you want to master? Alison says joy. Lisa says independence.
In confessional, Ilanya says the women will have to practice their tools when they leave the house.
She then asks, what keeps you from the next level? Because it’s when I can get the bike around the court and I want to go on the street, then what happens? Alison says she gets scared to death, she doesn’t trust, wants to go to a safe place. Ilanya asks, is that where you are with your graduation? Alison, “I just have questions I don’t know the answers to yet.” Ilanya, “You want someone to continue holding the bike for you. Will you learn that way?” Alison says she is not sure she will ever graduate.
We see a van coming up the driveway and the doorbell rings. It is Bethany, looking very pretty and much thinner. She came just to tell Alison that she loves her and it’s time for her to get ready to come home.
In confessional, TJ talks about all the southern talk and does a very funny impression of Bethany and Alison and starts mimicking the southern accents. “Hah y’all , hah y’all doin’?”
Bethany asks the women if Alison has cleaned the kitchen all the time and they all tell her that she does. Alison says she is happy Bethany is here. Bethany tells Lisa what an incredible person Alison is and although she seems more confident, she is still saying so many self-deprecating remarks. She still beats herself up too much.
Ilanya sits with Alison and asks her what happened yesterday? (This was when Alison had a panic attack with Dr. Stan). Alison said she didn’t know, she just freaked out. Ilanya asks her, what are the loose ends that send you into a panic? Alison answers, the relationships with her mom and brother. In the past she has been a victim and they are codependents. Ilanya holds up ropes with papers on the end and asks her to write what she needs to tie up the loose ends. Alison writes faith, hope, and Ilanya says love. Love never dies.
Jessica and Rhonda meet. Jessica is nervous about her dad coming tomorrow and that she hasn’t seen him since the wedding. Jessica says she has had a rough relationship with her stepmother but she is committed to starting fresh. Rhonda asks, what do you want to say to her? Jessica laughs and asks, do I have to go first? Rhonda answers, yes, they’re willing to risk a lot just by coming out here. Jessica says she wants to start over, and to apologize. She is most terrified for the time building up to their arrival because she just wants to get it over with. Rhonda says her photo exhibit has to be finished tonight for displaying tomorrow.
Christina talks to her mom on the phone and tells her she wants to work in her dad’s business while she goes to school. Her dad has offered her a job in purchasing and accounts receivable and she needs to reconnect with her dad, so this would probably be a good way.
Ilanya asks Allison, are you willing to risk that the relationship you have with your mother could end forever? Alison says she is. Ilanya says to call her and find out if she would be willing to have a conversation on the phone tomorrow with the two of them.
Ilanya in confessional: Alison is on graduation watch. She’s always had trouble talking with her mother so I’m preparing her to have a conversation with her mother so she can do just that
Ilanya tells Allison, I want you to look at the behaviors of adult children of alcoholics. Today you are going to meet with someone about this. Take your loose ends with you and wait until you get back from meeting her before you talk to your mother.
Allison in confessional: If my mom can’t see that I come from a place of love, I’ll be devastated, but I can’t go back now because all my chances are up.
Ilanya meets with Christina and asks her what is going on? She says her dad said he’s going to give her a job in the purchasing and accounting departments in his store when she gets back. Ilanya asks, how will that be working with your dad? Christina says, my sister works there, its all family. Ilanya wonders how this will help her real estate career and Christina says she will learn to work with customers and interact with people. Ilanya asks, what did you learn from your job counselor? Christina said she learned the difference in what she would make for money without a high school diploma, or just having her GED vs. having a college degree and that it makes a huge difference. She wants to get her GED. Ilanya tells her today you will work with and for Marian and Cynthia, a mother/daughter real estate team. It really requires mastering because it’s a very competitive industry.
TJ & Jessica are brainstorming ways to set up her photo exhibit. TJ is making some hand gestures and not talking because she is not allowed to share her opinions, since the board of review. Jessica tells her it’s okay to talk because she asked for her opinion. TJ thinks they could take tree branches and make easels out of them to look like tepees.
Christina goes to the real estate office and introduces herself to Cynthia at the front desk, who takes her back to meet Marian. Marian says to the camera she thinks Christina is a bit naïve and worries that she might think real estate is easy money. She sends Christina and Cynthia out to work.
Bethany is in the kitchen talking to Lisa and Jessica about going to a tractor pull and how much she loves trucks. They all laugh and the southern accents get stronger and louder. They talk about cute rednecks coming out to watch the truck events.
Rhonda talks to the camera about how Bethany came into the SO house and how she rebuilt her confidence and that she can support Alison so she can learn that everything will be okay.
Bethany says that she thinks Alison’s ready to graduate but she has got to realize we’ve all been there in terms of being scared to leave and she can learn from me that it’s okay. Rhonda asks, do you think she can do it? Bethany says, I know she can do it. Bethany already has done it and Allison must take up after her example and cross the finish line alone.
Alison meets with the therapist who deals with children of alcoholic families. Alison talks about her loose ends to the therapist, who draws an hourglass and they look back at needs that were met and those that weren’t. She asks Alison, what was the biggest thing that was good? Alison said her mom held the family together. What was her biggest hurt? Her father, who was alcoholic, was a very violent man and her mom egged him on and enabled him. Alison said, she did it for us. The therapist says that the elements of how the family is operating revolves around the alcoholic. Alison agrees that is has contributed to her own weight issues and drinking issues. The therapist holds a paper cup out and says, so here is wine. I’m having a bad day, and I could read a book, talk to a friend, take a bath, etc. She is concerned if Alison doesn’t build a support system she needs once she leaves the house, she will revert to old behaviors and adopt that as a lifestyle. The therapist asks her what she feels is her biggest issue? Alison says the abandonment issue with her mom is biggest issue. Therapist: So you grew up feeling abandoned by her? I’m concerned that you will abandon yourself to take care of your mother. Alison: I’m afraid I don’t have enough skills to go back and say this is who I am, love me or leave me. Mom, you weren’t emotionally available to me. This is not a criticism. The therapist says, we never can redo the past, but we can let it go and that will help you tie up those loose ends.
Christina and Cynthia go to a house that has a ‘For Sale’ sign on it with Cynthia’s real estate agency. They meet a house inspector there who talks about her job and how important it is to have an inspection done before purchasing the house. They ask questions about the timeframe for inspection and Christina learns some more pieces of the real estate job.
Jessica and Jill talk about Jessica’s photos which are all laid out on the table and how to put them together and what it to do if it rains. Jessica is worried she wont have enough time to make it perfect and special for them (her dad and Vivien). Jill offers to help her.
Talking in the van, Cynthia tells Christina about her difficult teen years and said she was in and out of rehab, had a very troubled teen life, and Christina said it put things in perspective, that if Cynthia can do it, so can she. They go back to the office and Marian tells Cynthia the home inspection on that house did not go well, the buyer is canceling and they must return the escrow money. Cynthia said now that they lost the escrow it’s very disappointing since they were planning on getting paid in 3 weeks. As an agent you must have money in the bank to prepare for things like this. Marian has Christina interview with the owners of the company. She said they interview agents as to who they would want to work with them. They look for people who are well read, well spoken, well dressed, professional, and want to work hard. This is not a job to just take someone’s biggest investment (a home) and not have any idea what they’re doing.
Alison calls her mom. Her mom said she tried to call her last night, this morning, and today. Bethany is with her when she calls. Alison tells her mother, I wanted to let you know I will be coming home very soon. Ilanya wants to know if she could conference call when you have time to do it. Her mother answers, I don’t’ care. Alison says, you tell me what’s the best time for you. Maybe when you get home from work? Her mom agrees that that would be a good time. Alison says her mom is as scared, if not more so, than I am about this. I know it’s not easy for her. She wants her daughter back.
Christina and Ilanya meet and Ilanya asks how it went with the real estate agent. Christina tells her about the house in escrow with an inspection that didn’t go well, but that it happens that way sometimes. Ilanya says, so your first day you had a house that didn’t sell. Ilanya has a row of colored boxes and a ring of keys. Each box has a value on it and Christina has to match the key to the box. The first one is Integrity. She tries the Honesty key, and it works. Then the Responsibility box/the Self-Worth key. Ilanya tells her, you must value yourself. She thinks Christina is finally getting that it takes kindness to have compassion, vision to have patience, and she will have to practice them before she leaves here.
Alison and Bethany go out for coffee. They sit down to talk. Bethany tells Alison that one thing that really concerns her is the fact that Alison feels that when she gets home she wouldn’t be supported by her friends, that she is therefore planning to fail. Alison says, I don’t want to slip back. She asks Bethany to hold her accountable, that she needs to ask for support for the rest of her life. Bethany reassures her that she can do it. She says I made it through, I’m okay, and you will be too.
Ilanya tells Christina; don’t allow your judgments and past experiences to not let you see them in a broader light. Christina says she can use hustling for good reasons. They come to the end of the row and her Priorities box is open. She must practice all the principles to have the vision she wants. In the Priority box is Education. Ilanya tells her that on Friday she will take her GED test. She hands her a big book to study and Christina says she will be ready and will pass it on Friday.
All the houseguests are having dinner with Bethany. Bethany said it was so hard to walk out the door when she graduated. Sitting around the table, they start laughing about chick peas. Jill lines up some peas and says each one is a houseguest. She takes Alison’s and says, there she goes, goodbye. Jill catapults one across the table. Lisa says in confessional that Bethany’s energy is special and fun to be around.
Jessica does all the prep work for her show, TJ and Jessica are outside hanging things and getting them ready.
Alison says she knows it’s time and she’s uncovered 38 years of habitual behaviors, and now she must learn to trust the process and the tools she now has so when that stuff creeps up, she can manage it.
Next on Starting Over: TJ has a complete meltdown. We see her in group saying, I feel I’m once again being hung out to dry. Jessica’s dad arrives and the tough questions begin. Ilanya gives Alison 24 hours to come up with a plan, she is not playing with her anymore.
|
Home 
