Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Although I did feel sad for Jessica today when her private moment was again shifted to a moment of silence for ground zero, I do feel she didn't act correctly. For one thing, she did not share the details of the exercise, so the ladies had no idea that something that came out of a truly respectful place in Allison's heart would be taken so badly. Secondly, Jessica needs to learn to differentiate between true selfish comments and those that are given with good intention. Jessica kept saying that is was perfectly okay for the ladies to have their moment of silence for whatever they needed, and did not truly say what was going on with her...and this was after the BOR! Thirdly, she does, unfortunately, learn how to grieve her mother privately, but deal with public comments. It is going to happen all the time. As stated in some other posts, many have had to deal with public losses and learn to separate their own personal needs. I do feel for her, but she still has much to learn also and it will take some time.

Allison is a kind and compassionate woman. She did nothing wrong. I suspect she thought she was supporting Jessica.

Jessica is a young woman who is FINALLY griving her mother's death. She most certainly did NOT want to hear about "ground zero". I don't blame her. The loss of one's mother is a personal thing even when it is a public affair.

BOTH women acted properly. BOTH had a right to express what they felt. It's just that they were coming from very different places. That's OK.

I suspect that the two women will work it all out and both will become the better for the experience.

Let's give them the oppportunity.

I agree asparagus, although I may not have communicated that I totally get both sides of this issue. Sometimes I think we, the viewers, have a very unique perspective seeing the conversations, exercises, reactions from afar. It makes me think of how we all would act if we could see scenarios play out (without the emotion or heat of the moment) before we jump in! And I think the hardest thing to learn in life is balance.....balance between taking care of ourselves and giving back to others.

QUOTE:
BOTH women acted properly. BOTH had a right to express what they felt. It's just that they were coming from very different places. That's OK.

I completely agree, and couldn't have said it better myself.

And even in spite of the editing (which I often question) we see more, I think, about what is going on with all the housemates than the actual housemates do.

No one in the house saw and heard the coaching between Jessica and Iylana but we did--or at least part of it. And when Allison spoke about that moment of silence and called it ground zero. I knew how that was huring Jessica before she said word. That is because, as a viewer, I have proviliaged information.

I must say, that I greatly appreciate how the posters here respond. It feels like we all care about the show and are respectful to the other posters. Its a GREAT change from last years official board and the new one they are using this year.

Then again, Jessica needs to understand and accept that the world is not going to come to ATTENTION! and be in-step with her. Impossible! It is being self-absorbed of her to expect that, without explaining herself to the ladies, that they would know where she is and what she needs at any given moment. She can't continue pouting each time someone does not say the 'right' thing. Her attitude of entitlement makes it difficult to get close to her if it means the ladies have to be walking on eggshells. I can see them opting to avoid her, lest they trigger something. I would. Again, her parents, loving as they may have been, did her major disservice by raising her in a bubble and not preparing her to live in the real world.