Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Hey ladies! Thurs 9-30

The ladies are back in group, with Sommer's scarlet letter. Kim feels bad for Sommer. Sommer says on her deathbed, she feels people remember regrets. Her grandmother died, and weight was a big factor in her death, and Sommer's reason for losing the weight. Everyone gets a scarlet letter! This letter represents regret and shame, in each of the ladies' lives. Sinae picked DT-Didn't tell. She didn't tell her aunt that she loved her husband, and was happy he brought her happiness. She always made fun of her aunt's husband. Her aunt has passed away before Sinae could tell her the truth. Towanda picked N-Not signing. When her sister wasn't asked to join a record contract because she was pregnant(Tracy), Towanda felt she should have stood up for her sister and not signed the contract herself. Kim has A-Acted out. She used to act out as a teen, gave her mom a hard time. We hear Jennifer after the fact saying, used to, she still does. Jennifer picked a C, and didn't want to share. Kim guessed later it stood for cheating, and she she nodded her head. Josie chose SA-Slept Around. She said that there is a product of her behavior, and that she didn't do it the right way.

Rhonda asked how do you revisit the shame. She talked about Karma, the idea that what you give out, comes back to you. The women define what they don't deserve, because of their shame. Towanda said she doesn't deserve her own record contract. Jennifer said trust from others, and from self. Josie said she doesn't deserve to ever have another boyfriend. Rhonda said you need to separate who you are from your actions.

Rhonda meets with Sinae. She said people tell her that her sight is not that bad. She feels angry people tell her that, she can't see, mostly eyes, text, labels, and other things like maps. She knows the house because she has felt, touched, and smelled it all. She wants to get outside and learn more. Rhonda tells her Vince, the mobility specialist is coming to do just that with her.

She is mad at first, that he is making her cross the street. She rides the bus, goes into a bakery, and rides the bus home by herself. After she gets off the bus, they show Vince in the back of the bus. That was good, just in case she had anxiety, and needed immediate help. She was glad she was made to do this, and she could do it again. Her confidence is at a 9.5, and it would be a 10 if she could go to the mall.

Jennifer gets flowers from her ex-boyfriend, Jack. She calls Jack and thanks him. It's the first time she has received pretty flowers from a boy. It's her 6 year old voice again!!!! So annoying, was anyone else annoyed at the way she spoke?

Sommer can't define what her shame has cost her. She said she loved the man she slept with, the same one that died. Rhonda gives her a journal.

Towanda sings her song in the recording studio. She wants to be The Black Pink.(can anyone explain that to me??) She sings-- "I feel anger filling up inside of me..." The song is filled with anger and hatred, and Iyanla is horrified.

Towanda doesn't feel she deserves this opportunity to record her own song. She has to prove to herself that she can do it. She works on the words and the feelings she has with Iyanla. "Standing here wondering what to do, I'm still standing strong". I liked it. She calls her hubby, and then plays the song for her houseguests.

Friday's show has Kim feeling pressure about a new assignment, Jennifer wants to go home, and Josie is mad at Sinae.

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thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!
curly

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Fri, 10-1

We are back in group with Rhonda and the ladies with their scarlet letters on. She asks what the ladies are grateful for because of their shame. Josie says Chloe is the innocent gift she has got, Towanda says success, Sinae's is attention, and the rest say love. They got what they needed, the only way they knew how, they had no other tools. This leads them to feel normal, not so shameful. They all see the ability to forgive themselves. Towanda takes off Sommer's A, and the other letters are removed by each other. Rhonda speaks of grace, and that the minute they forgive self, it removes karma. Forgiveness is the key, grace is the way. I have never really thought about myself giving grace, just of the grace our Lord Jesus Christ gives as a gift, without us needing to work for it.

The ladies go out to a tattoo parlor after the night group meeting. Kim stays home with Chloe. Josie is not shown getting a lip ring, but she does get a shamrock tattoo on her foot. Jennifer gets her nose pierced. Sommer is afraid the good feelings the women are sharing won't be there in the morning.

The ladies are taking care of Chloe in the morning. Jennifer tells Josie that she has had enough birth control for the day(?, it just started?) and gives Chloe back to mom. Jennifer is upset that Josie doesn't say please and thank you enough. (Oh, honey, grow up a little! )

Iyanla meets with Kim. She is to write down her stories. The divorce, the acting out as a teen, the drugs, alcohol, sex, and whatever else is keeping her feeling sad and guilty. Iyanla wants her to repeat, I am not bad, I am not guilty. Kim says she has carried the guilt so long, and now with the kids out of the house, she is feeling the sadness. She needs to feel bad, and recover, just move on. She needs to let go of the past, let go of the stories. She has to tell 25 strangers her story, and get them to sign a paper saying they support her in making a change. The point is if strangers can hear her worst stories, and see the goodness in her, she can see it in herself.

Jennifer is driving Kim to Melrose Ave, and she comments that this is where all the freaks hang out, and don't they ever look in the mirror before they leave the house. (Boy, she can be harsh!!) She tells her story, without too much enthusiasm, and reads dryly off the paper. After a few attempts, she warms up, and seems more comfortable. She doesn't even apologize for what she is wearing! She must share a little bit, because a man gives her a pinkie ring to wear.

She talks to an older gentleman who really is listening to her. He asks her if she has told any of this to her parents, and of course, she says no. She gets back to Iyanla and has 30 signatures. Iyanla is happy, and told her she is well on her way to her steps of self awareness, and taking off the mask. She tells Kim to never tell these stories again, and she rips up the papers. Okay, help me ladies. Aren't the stories a part of her? My stories are who I am! They are all I have, and I have to let go of them? Or is she just referring to the guilt and shame attached to the stories? Please, tell me where Iyanla is going with this. Or shall I just stay tuned?

Sinae gets to meet with some very cute men, who come to the house to take her hiking. I am envisioning mountain climbing, but they follow a well marked path. Not what I call hiking, but a start. Rhonda gives Sinae hiking boots, and they are off. To me, Sinae seems the most emotionally healthy woman in the house, she is my new favorite! The men, Chad and Shannon, are very independent. One can see slightly, one has been blind since birth. They all have had driving experiences. Sinae bought a vehicle shortly before her blindness symptoms occurred. For those of you keeping score at home, her condition is ocular albinism. She feels a sense of community with these guys.

Back at home now, they are all eating dinner, and Chloe is fussy. ( I say, so what?) Jennifer is upset, and thinks Josie should remove her from the table, she is disrupting their meal. Josie says to camera she feels she does say thank you to the houseguests, and she appreciates the help the women give. Jennifer is on the phone to her friend Jack, the flower guy, and is whining about Josie. She feels walked on, and feels that Josie overreacts.

Lynnell, two sisters, and Hailey show up at the SO house. They look cute. Josie is so happy, they share the b word earlier, and seem to have a party. Alcohol is flowing, and Sommer is sitting with them. The rest of the houseguests are playing cards, except Kim. Josie is mad they all won't come and hang out with her friends. It seems late, and the ladies are ready for bed, except for Josie and the guests.

The next morning, Josie is mad at everyone for them not wanting to visit with her friends. She is mad at Sinae for telling them they were too loud, Sinae said, well, they were, and it was late. She grabs the walker, and says no one is ever watching Chloe again. So that is where that comment came from, taken so out of context. No one did anything wrong toward Chloe, Josie was just playing the victim, and overreacting, IMO. She said the ladies were not considerate to her, I say Josie was not considerate to her roommates!!

Next week shows Kim mad, Towanda with sad news, and Josie is still not happy.

Happy Weekend, ladies!

you're welcome

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you
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thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!

curly

lol, and wow!