Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Dr. Stan and Rhonda come to the house to meet with Christie and confront her about not following her food plan. They ask her how she eats, how she feels, and for how many days she’s been doing her food journal. In confessional, Christie admits she’s in trouble because she has not been doing that. Dr. Stan and Rhonda accuse Christie of maybe not having a food issue, and is she taking her exercise seriously? Christie takes responsibility, admits she has not been doing her work. She is told to bring Jill in, who is now to become her food accountability partner. Christie will tell her what she ate, how much, and how she felt, every single morsel. Jill says no problem, she knows being accountable makes you think twice. Rhonda says she must do this for several days until Rhonda says she can stop.

In the kitchen, Jill, Christie and Kim are eating. Christie says she is supposed to have 1 and ½ cups food 3 times a day, and one snack. Jill makes the comment in confessional that it looks like Christie is eating a lot more than 1 and ½ cups. Christie insists she is eating only that much.

In group. Dr. Stan asks the ladies how they are doing with all the new people and how everyone is getting along. Jill says emotionally, she feels blessed to still be there, feels like the elder, identifies with Jodi and wants to protect her. Jodi then begins to sob. She says she feels really vulnerable and scared to lose Jill. She speaks to the group and says she doesn’t know how she will lean on these people. She wants them to give to her the way she gives to them. Lisa says you go to Jill for support but you need to come to us. Christie says she is frustrated, feels Jill is high-ranking and that makes her mad. Jill says it is a level playing field. Christie says she is used to being in charge at home, and Dr. Stan suggests maybe she’s angry at herself for not asserting herself as she wants to. He then tells the group a guest is joining them, and Andy Paige comes in. In the spirit of change, Dr. Stan wants Andy to work with them on one physical change. Andy says she will boost their confidence and today they will learn the power of the perfect bra.

They go to a lingerie shop specializing only in bras, and they each find out they are different sizes than they thought and they all look much better with their new bras. They then must relinquish their old bras to Andy.

Kim and Rhonda talk about love and asks Kim to tell her what she believes is the ultimate relationship of her dreams. Kim says if Jax woke up, her husband Jeff would go get him and bring him into bed where they could all hang out. Then he’d go make coffee while Kim and Jax played. Rhonda says this is supposed to be about her and Jeff, but all she has talked about is Jax. Wouldn’t it be nice if he leaned over and kissed you and says he loves you? Kim says he used to do that, now he’s too tired. Rhonda suggests trying to do that to him and see what happens. Kim is assigned to go out on the streets and interview people by asking them questions about love. Rhonda then talks to Jodi privately and Jodi cries that she had a breakthrough last night and now realizes that Kim reminds her of her father, in that she doesn’t listen, it’s never about anyone but her. Rhonda says until you have forgiveness for your father, Kim will trigger you. Rhonda then tells her that Jodi will be secretly calling Jeff and asking him the same questions in regards to Kim. Kim interviews people and learns that there are many different opinions about having date nights, talking alone, should he buy me flowers over and over when he knows I don’t like them, etc? One man said about the flowers, that he probably does love you but is not paying attention. Meanwhile, Jodi calls Jeff and asks him the questions.

Kim later meets with Dr. Stan and says her feelings about love were validated in this exercise, and if Jeff wanted to be a partner for life, it would change everything. She feels Jeff doesn’t listen to her and tells him you don’t love me. Dr. Stan says you are saying prove that you love me over and over. Guys are turned off by saying you don’t love me because he may feel he does and is showing it fully so he can never give enough, so men will shut down and stop trying. He says he’s not sure Kim wants him to love her.

Jodi comes in with Jeff’s answers.

Question: What do you do to show Kim that you love her?
Answer: Whatever it takes to take care of her.

Dr. Stan says men are proud, consider themselves the provider in the male role.

Question: Is Kim open to your love?
Answer: Not all the time. She doesn’t feel lovable, has high expectations and is a perfectionist. She shuts me down if I don’t meet them. I feel unloved when criticized.

Dr. Stan says this then becomes “conditional” love when expectations aren’t met.

Christie talks to a friend on the phone. She says she feels stuck, doesn’t like people telling her what to eat. She’s no longer drinking, taking drugs, eating, and she doesn’t have a boyfriend, so she is going through a lot of emotions trying to cope without them.

Andy Paige comes back and brings all the women’s old bras and they go down to the fireplace to burn them. Each woman must speak before throwing hers in. We only see Jodi, Kim, Christie and Jill speak. Jodi says the last couple of days she has been down and she wants to open up and to release control. Kim says it represents her getting rid of resistance, giving up what is uncomfortable and accepting love from everyone, including her housemates. Jill says she didn’t feel worthy of love and that today it is about being bold, big and expensive (like the new bra). Christie says she’s scared, frustrated, and just wants to keep an open mind and trust herself.

Next on Starting Over: Kelly has a tough time making friends. We see them in group and Kelly speaking defensively to someone and Dr. Stan tells everyone to take a deep breath.

Jodi says she is waiting to see the real Kelly come out.

Jill is worried about Lisa. She says Lisa has wasted a lot of people’s time. It looks like she has been leaving multiple messages with Lisa and not getting her calls returned.

Thank you so much. I was reading another board and they made a big issue about Jill taking over. I thought Jill was taking over now I see it wasn't like that. I hope I don't miss Jill graduate because I wanted to see her graduate before I stop watching.

Thanks for the recap. Judge Judy recorded instead on NBC New York.

What did Dr. Stan say to Jodi in group after she said she wasn't getting what she was giving?

Thank you so much Eileen!!!

At least I can keep up....but i sure do miss seeing all the visuals....like the new bras and the burning...DARN!!!

Thank you for taking the time to write this. Like others I live in NYC where the show is not airing until the Olympics is over. I also read on this message board that once back, the show will not pick up where it left off for us in NYC, but air according to schedule. These recaps are all I will have of the show for 2 weeks (until reruns I guess). Thanks again.

MANY THANKS FOR RECAP OF THE FEB 14TH SHOW
LOVE YOUR WAY, JAZZ