Starting Over Talk

what exactly is KPW???

and i may re-open my folder for counseling but i'm scared..i've never opened up to anyone except my brother and best friend. one is dead and the other has his own things to deal with and cant take on all of mine..

i'm just scared ya know

I'm KPW.. It's my user name and my initials..and do I have to say it, but my birth year as well. I replied to your initial posts.

The only other thing I can add to what I've already said since you've added the info about your brother is, that you may really be in 'grief' mode.. and in need of grief counseling at this point.

I wish you the very best of luck..

You need to trust someone.. Allow yourself to feel, and to become vulnerable.. to a counselor.. You should be able to express all the feelings you are dealing with.. and then they can help you channel it in a way that will be constructive and not destructive.

I really do care.. even if I'm on the other side of the world.. How much more are people around you trying to show you they care and you may be shutting them out. Being angry at your situation isn't unusual and just part of the grief process.

I hope that at least is an encouragement to you..

Best of luck to you... and know that I am praying for you.

Hello just want to welcome you to the starting over post. hope your feeling better. Ive been deppressed before therer is a light at the end . for me it was excepting the Lord Jesus Christ into my heart. than i didnt fell empty inside he makes me feel whole. and i know i can always talk and seek his perfecet counsel. your made in his perfect image. Your life is precious to him you matter . dont give up just surrender to your higher power and he will carry you through the pain hurt and dissappointment God bless you girlfriend.

ever since he died i've been angry at myself...beating myself up about everything that's gone wrong since that moment. ever since he died it felt like everything was falling apart..i felt he was dead because of me

and i'm opening my folder back up for counseling..i'm just really scared about getting back into and everything...i'm afraid that the person will tell my mom everything and i really dont want my mother to know anything about whats going on because i couldnt handle her having that knowledge of the things about me that make me into the not caring or anger word hurting b*tch!

grrrr i just cant stand life anymore..i honestly cant!

yeah thanks!

i've tried it, it did work and then i just lost my faith. i dnt know why it happened it just did and i just dont want it back anymore. no offense to you or anything..

i'm an anger hating careless person...

suicide_gurl wrote:
ever since he died i've been angry at myself...beating myself up about everything that's gone wrong since that moment. ever since he died it felt like everything was falling apart..i felt he was dead because of me

and i'm opening my folder back up for counseling..i'm just really scared about getting back into and everything...i'm afraid that the person will tell my mom everything and i really dont want my mother to know anything about whats going on because i couldnt handle her having that knowledge of the things about me that make me into the not caring or anger word hurting b*tch!

grrrr i just cant stand life anymore..i honestly cant!

I think it's great that you say you'll open the folder back up. I assume that to mean that you'll go back to counseling. The lingo is different her in the states..

Here, therapists and counselors are usually bound to confidentiality. The counselors main obligation is to you. You can discuss that with them.. Tell them your fears.

One day, you might even want to tell your mom.. Most moms love their children no matter what. I think you may feel like you will lose her love and that you will have disappointed her.. But more than likely at some time when you really start getting your feet firmly planted and your head on straight and by that I mean thinking more positively about your life... You may really want to open up to your mom and let her know you've been to hell and back.. It may make you closer than ever before. I think part of your burden might be hiding all this stuff you've been doing.

I'm really happy that you let us know you'll open the folder and try again. Please really open up... discuss your fears and allow them to try to reassure you... You sound like you are an articulate bright young woman.. I think you are going to make significant progress this time!

Who knows maybe someday soon, you'll even want to reclaim your faith in humanity and in God!