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I'm sitting here only half awake.
Yesterday was the "memorial service" for my best friend Bill. We've been close friends for the last 29 years.
He apparently died in his sleep from a heart attack. Intellectually, I know he was most likely only in brief pain, if any. My heart aches because he laid alone, undiscovered for five days.
A force in the universe was at work because he and I did not expect to be communicating during that time. My daughter was in Children's Hospital, and we were not home.
I cannot explain the calls from the police and coroner's office the night they called to inform me of his death. I was his emergency contact.
He was estranged from his biological family for about 45 years. His mother and sister are still alive, but not in this area. These last few weeks of attempting to preserve his dignity in the face of.......I don't know how to characterize it.....their indifference, veiled hostility and greed has been almost excrutiating.
I'm so exhausted, I can't seem to mourn him properly, whatever that is. I am so grateful for his life and so alone in his death.
Sorry if I'm rambling. I just had to reach out for some advise. Thanks
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