Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

The reason Elisabeth seemed off is because they touched a sore spot with her. She freaks on this issue and will not back down. Barbara and she have gone around on it many times and she will not drop it. She is adamant that a person who commits adultery CANNOT be a good parent...period. According to her, if a spouse commits adultery, they should have little if any time with the child. Full custody should automatcially go to the noncheating parent.

I get really tired of her going off on that topic to the point she is near tears. This week when she started on it, I just fast forwarded through it.

She obviously has some very deep insecurities about her marriage and herself. For some reason she is setting this entire judgment in her head perhaps to protect her if it happens to her one day or perhaps to warn Tim, her husband, that in case he gets any ideas, he should be careful of cheating because he cannot be a father to their children if he does. This is the only explanation I think of. She is just manic on that topic.

Barbara actually had an affair with a married man a long time ago. She has admitted this on The View. I don't know if she had her daughter at the time or not, but I suspect so and that is why Elisabeth's accusation that she could not have been a good parent because of this is upsetting to her.

Debby wrote:

QUOTE:
The reason Elisabeth seemed off is because they touched a sore spot with her. She freaks on this issue and will not back down. Barbara and she have gone around on it many times and she will not drop it. She is adamant that a person who commits adultery CANNOT be a good parent...period. According to her, if a spouse commits adultery, they should have little if any time with the child. Full custody should automatcially go to the noncheating parent.

I get really tired of her going off on that topic to the point she is near tears. This week when she started on it, I just fast forwarded through it.

She obviously has some very deep insecurities about her marriage and herself. For some reason she is setting this entire judgment in her head perhaps to protect her if it happens to her one day or perhaps to warn Tim, her husband, that in case he gets any ideas, he should be careful of cheating because he cannot be a father to their children if he does. This is the only explanation I think of. She is just manic on that topic.

Barbara actually had an affair with a married man a long time ago. She has admitted this on The View. I don't know if she had her daughter at the time or not, but I suspect so and that is why Elisabeth's accusation that she could not have been a good parent because of this is upsetting to her.

I wonder if Elizabeth is aware how unattractive her judgemental opinions come accross... duh... obviously not... LOL.

mazzy wrote:

QUOTE:
Debby wrote:

QUOTE:
The reason Elisabeth seemed off is because they touched a sore spot with her. She freaks on this issue and will not back down. Barbara and she have gone around on it many times and she will not drop it. She is adamant that a person who commits adultery CANNOT be a good parent...period. According to her, if a spouse commits adultery, they should have little if any time with the child. Full custody should automatcially go to the noncheating parent.

I get really tired of her going off on that topic to the point she is near tears. This week when she started on it, I just fast forwarded through it.

She obviously has some very deep insecurities about her marriage and herself. For some reason she is setting this entire judgment in her head perhaps to protect her if it happens to her one day or perhaps to warn Tim, her husband, that in case he gets any ideas, he should be careful of cheating because he cannot be a father to their children if he does. This is the only explanation I think of. She is just manic on that topic.

Barbara actually had an affair with a married man a long time ago. She has admitted this on The View. I don't know if she had her daughter at the time or not, but I suspect so and that is why Elisabeth's accusation that she could not have been a good parent because of this is upsetting to her.

I wonder if Elizabeth is aware how unattractive her judgemental opinions come accross... duh... obviously not... LOL.

I'm not sure Mazzy. I do wonder why her mother, her aunts, or other perhaps more experienced family members, have not taken her aside and cautioned her on being so judgmental on certain issues. Politics are one thing, but when you put everybody who does certain things in one category and then hold yourself up as someone who this would never happen to....you know it is going to happen. With all of her sermons on how her husband would NEVER cheat on her, how would she ever come out on that stage again if there were to be a big scandal like Kathie Lee had years ago.

Kathie Lee didn't boast that her husband would never cheat, but she did brag on what a great family they had. It was very humiliating to Kathie Lee. She didn't leave her husband. With all of the threats Elisabeth has made, she would have to leave her husband and claim him to be an unfit parent or eat her words and try to salvage her marriage.

Only with time will Elisabeth gain some maturity and perhaps drop the "I would never do that" philosophy. We all do things that we never thought we would. We never know what life has in store for us. It just seems to be more difficult to learn those lessons on national tv. She doesn't seem to realize how vulnerable she may be.

I wonder if she has had a close friend or a family member that did toss their children aside for a mistress. She's very avid about it. She seems more reactive to it than just a usual opinion.

I know of affairs that did take the parent away from the kids because the demands of the other person or the preference for the other person. Then again I've seen some parents that keep the kids as a priority during their affair but I have never seen an affair that didn't harm the family as a whole. It's hard to work on being a family unit when you there is another person in the picture. When the affair comes out into the open... you can't hide it or the pain it causes, their world is upside down.. esp when it results in things getting ugly between the parents. MAYBE that is what Elizabeth is reacting to.. the problems that arise from it to the kids and not the relationship itself between parent and children... She might not seperate the relationships of parents and kids from the connection from the family unit itself... SHRUGS - if that makes sense.

I do fear that if something did happen between her and her husband that it will be a hard blow for her to take esp on national TV. It's easier for things to slip in when someone are busy believing that it won't happen to them.

TigerRose, I do see what you are saying and I agree. Maybe she is saying that you can't be a good parent if you choose to hurt the family. However, sometimes nobody in the family ever finds out about the adultery, so in theory they are not really hurt. Who knows.

There must be some reason she reacts the way she does. God forbid there was an adulterous situation in her own home that she never recovered from. That could explain it. She seems to be very positive and affectionate when discussing her parents.

I truly hope her husband stays faithful. If you will remember, it was a reporter who set up Frank Gifford to cheat. Many were tired of Kathie Lee's goody two shoes attitude on Regis. (Not me, I liked her). Anyway, they paid this woman to proposition Frank and then take photos of them to make sure they had the proof and he couldn't wiggle out it. I can't recall if he ACTUALLY slept with the decoy or just got to first base. But there were photos.

I think Elisabeth's husband may be a prime target for something similar. I hope her husband knows that.

I think it's more of a personality thing with Elizabeth. She makes a statement that she believes in and won't budge...

I also think with time and experience she will learn to pick her battles... she was surprisingly non confrontational today re Susan Sarandon. LOL... Rosie knew how to push her buttons... Whoopie seems more patient... actually the whole atmosphere on The View seems a bit safer to express ones' opinion these days.