Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Hi there:
Hugs for you and a prayer!
I too lost my mother in 2001' and I tell you I still mourne her loss....I do not think any child of a lost parent in death gets over it.Even tho' its a part of life to loose a loved one in death...weas human have to deal with it...cherish the memories and share them with your children...even the sad moments and the funny moments...share them ....have her picture closeby...give her a kiss....maybe try and buy a fav plant she loved...and take care of it...and kinda...feel that her spirit is there....e/day ...which is anyways.
I found that the more I thought of my Mother- I had dreams of her.
I find talking about my mother to loved ones closest to me was so neat too...and when you have a good support system of peeps you get thru the loss much easier.Focus on good things you and mom shared and did....what she taught you....made you laugh....her childhood antics...things of that nature.
Family comes first also and with consideration and understanding...its okay to cry and be lonesome for Mom..on occasion...its human nature.
I hope your coping well and love to see you here at the site more often...having new friends here at this site is a must.Add me to your friends list and we can share life's experiences...also we help each others here...this is what I love about this site...its a god-send!
May the ray of sunshine come to your neck of the woods and a ray of hope...warm your heart....daily tasks at hand..are what we become!hehe..hope you understand what I meant...LOL
tc- girl...and have a nice day C-U-soon here!

I can come close to understanding what you're going thru, and you have my sincere empathy.

My mom is dying, from Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. She was sort of in remission twice before, but it came back. This time in the groin, and swelled her belly, legs, and pushed on her kidneys, causing them to almost shut down. We didn't think she'd last more than a few hours 3 weeks ago. I had my two Aunts, Pat and Winnie, two of her younger sisters, come to stay in Kansas then.

However since restarting the chemo, she is feeling crappy, but it is working. So she is very hopeful, as are her oncologist and nurses at Cancer Center. And, of course, the whole family.
She is going to pull thru.......maybe.

She was ready to give up and not do the chemo route this time, but the pain involved made her do it. So who knows, as one already said, when we will go?

I certainly am praying for you and yours!

Sincerely,
MaryBeth

thank you very much, I guess i had some sort of help with decideing to join this web page. I have not been on computer much other then for bills and quickly looking at my stuff due to my household growing well before my mompassed. It had been 2 yrs my brother lost his house with 3 kids ( of course she took in 14 grandson first, then around christmas i told that 16 grandaughter was coming here too).With all the kids my computer is hard for me to use. At this time 17 granddaughter had baby on sept 27) This baby was her first great grand child and she was so happy with being girl too. Now i am making it through for my kids (2 boys 13,15) and my husband. My mom talked about this happening and her talking has not stop for me. I think things happen for good reasons but not falling apart is the hardest battle for me. I guess when all this mellows out in house, then maybe if i still have job I will be going back ?? sry for delay in a heart felt THANK YOU FOR RESPONSE

I am soo sorry sweetie. I lost my beloved daddy unexpectedly in 04.' Fast forward to 2 years later, and I still can't believe he is gone. I feel your pain. I can offer this to you, I was keeping myself on the run, picking up overtime at work, doing all the housecleaning, banking, errands, then going to the gym. I would come home so exhausted that I would literally fall asleep sitting straight up. After keeping this up for almost a year, it finally hit me that my daddy was gone. When I found myself int he middle of the woods, on my knees screaming my head off, I realized that I needed to deal with this issue,a nd that I needed to make more time for myself. I talked with the hubby, who tatally agreed with me. He picked up most of the household chores, and I quit accepting overtime. For about 4 months I would come home from work, and get right in the hot tub for a few hours and just sort out my thoughts. (can be done in the bathtub too) I finally went through all the stages, and honored my own self by coming to terms with my loss. I am sure if you spoke to your hubby, friend or family member, and explained how you are feeling, and what you need (what you need to deal with this trauma may be different than mine..or maybe you just don't like water!) and asked him/her for some help around the house so that you can have some time alone to deal with your mom's death properly, he/she would be more than willing to do so.
I know I couldn't have gone on much longer the way I was going, and neither can you. Hugs to you

I was watching an episode this having to do with Christina losing her Mom on 9/11...and wound up crying.. My Mom has been gone a long time but I never had closure with her before she passed, and we were never very close to begin with, but still there is this void...Sometimes I wonder how I can mother my kids when I was never mothered.. My children are adults now, which I think is harder still to be a good Mother and allow them to grow without wanting to smother them..My oldest just came home from Iraq and I wanted to hold him in my arms and never let him go, but he is a man and so after our visit I watched him drive away to his base again not knowing where he will be sent next..Someone please send me some courage...as I am running out quickly..
nance

ladypk............I'm sending hugs!!!! Mine are just now teenagers and I can start to relate to some of what you are saying...........but I just keep in mind that although I never had any nurturing, I'm choosing to give my kids what I would have wanted!! No, I'm not perfect at all and I have to apologize to them sometimes (which is not necessarily a bad thing!!! lol) but I truly endeavor to balance between loving and smothering and letting them be independent!!

It's a difficult task to juggle.............especially since we had no example set for us..........but the fact that we try and we love them shines through!!!! (That's my prayer, anyway!!!!)

I wish you the best and just know that you are not alone!!!