Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

My little bit of courage goes out to you Ladypk! And a lot of prayers for your son. I can't imagine the worry that you go through daily. A big hug for you!!

My mother and father both have passed. My mother and i were never really close like i would have liked us to be. It wasn't her fault though. It was the way she was raised, so that is how she raised her family. My father on the other hand was the one we ran to with hurt knees and kisses to make things better. I loved him more than life, it broke my heart to lose him. I held his hand and kissed his cheek and told him what a good father he had been. I had the pleasure of seeing him accept the Lord as his personal savior 2 days before he died. I will never as long as i live, forget that. My dad is in Heaven, and i will see him again someday.
My mother was a good woman, but so stand offish and stubborn. I think we were too much alike to get along that well. In the end, we became friends and for that i am eternally gratful. Both were wonderful people. It is lonely without your parents. They fill a void that no one else can. I miss them both all the time, it has been 10 years now, and i can talk about it without breaking down. I think God intended for children to bury their parents, but certainly not for parents to bury their children. I think that would be the hardest thing in the world for a mother to do. Your son is one of your most precious treasures, the other one is your daughters. Tell them you love them today. I wish my mother had told me, she showed me, but she never TOLD me. Makes a difference. My prayers are with you Pinkpk

grizzlys4 wrote:
[quote]....I just keep in mind that although I never had any nurturing, I'm choosing to give my kids what I would have wanted!! ....

It's a difficult task to juggle.............especially since we had no example set for us[\quote]

You expressed perfectly how I set about loving and nurturing my children. My mother, herself an abused child, was incapable of giving love and affection to any of her 6 children. I swore that I would do everything in my power to give to my children the things that I needed that I could not get from my own mother, and also those things that they wanted that would be healthy for them.

Since I had no healthy role models as a child, I had to make it up as I went along and do the best I could do, reading every self-help book that I could find to try to figure out how to parent. Of course, I made lots of mistakes, but at least tried to learn from them, and be as honest and present in the moment as I could be as they grew up. While my children agree that I was a much better parent to my younger child, who is nine years younger than the older one, they also feel that they got lots of love from me, despite early mistakes. At least I can say that they have both gone much farther at their respective ages than I had gone at those ages, and I am proud of both of them, and grateful that they have gotten past my parental goofs with a minimum of damage (keeping fingers crossed).

In recognition of my mother's efforts to pull herself together, she just recently hugged me for the first time in my life and told me that she loved me. I was in shock for days afterward! At 70 years old, I have to credit her with never giving up trying to find herself and find a way to reach out to others and really connect! That was quite an accomplishment for her!

Of course, I also had no healthy role models for forming intimate relationships either, so I had to stumble my way (and drag my kids through) through 5 failed marriages and divorces before I managed to get it right with Mr. Wonderful #6, with whom I have been for 4 1/2 years now, and it's absolutely a divine relationship!

With kindest regards, Donna E.:)

My heart goes out to all who are loosing or have lost as parent. I lost my mother, six weeks ago. I has always hoped that we would have "a talk", "any sincere talk" It never happened. It never will.
She never knew me, nor me her. May she rest in peace.

LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
My heart goes out to all who are loosing or have lost as parent. I lost my mother, six weeks ago. I has always hoped that we would have "a talk", "any sincere talk" It never happened. It never will.
She never knew me, nor me her. May she rest in peace.

Lauren, we have butted heads over certain HGs before, but I must tell you that my heart goes out to you with this post. Might I suggest, with the best of intentions, that you can still talk to your
mother...I believe that she will hear you. God bless...x

ceilidh wrote:

QUOTE:
LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
My heart goes out to all who are loosing or have lost as parent. I lost my mother, six weeks ago. I has always hoped that we would have "a talk", "any sincere talk" It never happened. It never will.
She never knew me, nor me her. May she rest in peace.

Lauren, we have butted heads over certain HGs before, but I must tell you that my heart goes out to you with this post. Might I suggest, with the best of intentions, that you can still talk to your
mother...I believe that she will hear you. God bless...x

Thank You Ceilidh

I look at our "difference of opinon" as just that, not personal, just expressing ourselves. We have clashed on some opinions, but, we have always been respectful.....Peace....Lauren

LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
ceilidh wrote:

QUOTE:
LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
My heart goes out to all who are loosing or have lost as parent. I lost my mother, six weeks ago. I has always hoped that we would have "a talk", "any sincere talk" It never happened. It never will.
She never knew me, nor me her. May she rest in peace.

Lauren, we have butted heads over certain HGs before, but I must tell you that my heart goes out to you with this post. Might I suggest, with the best of intentions, that you can still talk to your
mother...I believe that she will hear you. God bless...x

Thank You Ceilidh :)

I look at our "difference of opinon" as just that, not personal, just expressing ourselves. We have clashed on some opinions, but, we have always been respectful.....Peace....Lauren

What I meant was....perhaps "saying" what you need to say
would be helpful to you...ease your heart a little. Peace to you
also..x