Starting Over Talk

Turtle, I was secretly thinking what you posted. I then checked the blog and saw that Iyanla had posted a congrats to the expecting couple. I guess it's good to find out that couples you worked with have moved on and seem to be happy with their lives together.

I had steered clear of this thread, because I didn't want to sound like a hyprocrite. I posted some pretty candid and severe comments about this couple on this board previously, actually the strong comments were directed at Jaclyn, not Michael. But that is water under the bridge, hopefully things have totally turned around. I do wish Michael, Jaclyn and their baby great health and much happiness.

Debby, I don't think Iyanla's fansite is Iyanla herself... I highly doubt Iyanla would fall into the myspace fad... I did look at it when I was rummaging around the other day... It actually says that it is devoted to Iyanla by a fan. But it sure can make you do a double take! Good thing that fan put a disclaimer on their main page... It probably makes people come visit her site more than the average poster. (maybe that's her goal!) (I make an assumption that it's a female fan... sorry...annoying habit...)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=106240161

I never really gotten into the couples that much so don't know the full breadth and scope of Jacklyn's issues... but most couples could spend a year or 2 or 3 settling into married life. Why the rush?

I have a friend who wanted 6 kids... She was steadfast in this... Well, she has her 6 kids now... and life is a zoo... I know they are all loved and wanted but Jacklyn has NO IDEA how much work even one child can be... Mothering and parenting isn't for the faint of heart... When my friend complains... I have to bite my tongue..Be careful what you wish for ... You just might get it! Jacklyn (and Michael) should take it one at a time.. and not romanticize a large family... Especially in todays times. It's not easy! Her future children would benefit better if they'd had more time to settle into their marriage..

But hey, many parents didn't have that luxury before the last 30 or 40 years... and they dealt with it... Some of us had parents with poor means of coping and taking out their frustrations on us..

Alot might depend on what sort of families Jacklyn and Michael have... and if they have unrealistic expectations or if they know exactly what is in store for them.

Either way, they still need alot of prayers and luck!

Post edited by: KPW1956, at: 2006/10/09 13:00

Thanks for noticing that KPW. I went back and saw that the congrats was from an Iyanla fan and not her. Anyway, I still wish them well.

You have said that you didn't see the issues this couple had on SO. Jaclyn was dealing with the trama of a rape and Michael dealing with her not wanting him intimately. She would think of what happened to her and couldn't move past it to be with Michael. Iyanla actually suggested they take a break apart from one another for a period of months after they left the SOH, I think so that Jaclyn could deal with her issues first.

Apparently they did reunite and were doing better when they returned to the mini retreat at the wine country segments on SO, however were still struggling in that area. It looks like they were successful in their therapy and tied the knot and started a family.

I guess I was surprised because most of my friends say that after the kids come along, the sex gets scarce or sometimes nonexistent. For some reason the women don't want it. Perhaps hormonal or perhaps exhaustion from work and child care responsibiities. I have one friend who is a stay at home mom, in which this was not the case. I've also heard many people complain of this in the media, interviews, talk shows, etc.

I caught glimpses of their issues.. She sort of came across to me as 'spoiled'...

As for what to expect after kids... It's definitely different.. you no longer have that aspect of spontaniety... Every couple is different.. My hubby and I never had a problem with this ().. Although when nursing that could be a minor-major annoyance.. But if you have the will, you find ways to even manage the annoyances.. For me to conquer the leaking problem, I wore my bra 24/7 with pads! It wasn't too comfortable leaking all over the place..

But you might be right... If she already had/or still has a libido problem, it could be exacerbated with pregnancy, motherhood and hormones...One, combination or all three in varying degrees.

I thought alot of her sexual issues might have stemmed from her guilt over what had happened.. And that perhaps she blamed herself in part...

Do you remember how much history the 2 had before? Wasn't there a break up or 2 or 3...? Maybe that was when the incident occurred.

I'm glad you brought up the "Iyanla-congrats" thing, cuz that kinda bothered me on her myspace page..it has Iyanla's picture, and a congrats, but it says it's from Iyanla's fan club, so it's very misleading. I think the fan club that is doing that is leading many people to think that Iyanla actually has a myspace acct. and is excited for J and M. Well..that's just my take...

Are Jaclyn and MIchael having a baby boy? on her myspace she has a countdown to baby Romero?? Looks to me she's having a boy!

I sure hope Jaclyn quit smoking for the baby sake!

Post edited by: Nadia, at: 2006/11/14 19:35