Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I only saw a portion of hot topics yesterday because the show was interupted with news of a school closing due to a carbon monoxide leak. It never fails. Eleven o'clock has to be the worst time to get interupted. It was that way when SO came on at that time. It was so odd. The part I did see they talked to Elisabeth's friend that she met in college. They chatted about raising kids and potty training, should you give food rewards for good behavior to children, etc.

The friend thought Elisabeth and Tim are ALWAYS trying to educate Grace, the daughter. Even Elisabeth admitts that when Grace is present, her full attention is focused on her and she doesn't get a chance to talk to anyone else who is there. I have friends who believe the child must ALWAYS be engaged with an adult...during every waking hour.

I guess that's being a new mom. I have friends who do that and it drives me crazy. These are single moms who stay home alot and don't get out except for work. They beg me to come over and have dinner and watch a movie and chat. Then when I get there they constantly talk to their toddler and focus on the child the entire meal. Even when the child is playing contently alone, they must get up and go engage the child with conversation. They refuse to have a conversation with me other than a few words that involve the child.

After dinner they put the movie in and tell me to go ahead and start and they will be right back after they get the child to sleep. But they don't mention how they must do the bedtime rituals, then lay down with the child until the child goes to sleep.
By this time it's one hour into the movie and mom comes out and is too sleepy to watch the movie or talk to me.

I think it's really sad for these mom's, but, I fail to understand why they can't lighten up just a little while they have a guest over. I know I'm welcome and they are happy I came, but, the experience is so bad for me that I don't feel like going back, but, I do, because they are my friends and I know they are lonely.

These are the same people who cannot have a 2 minute conversation on the phone with you without interupting the conversation to chat with their child about what book they have picked up or what they want for snack time. The mother will do this even when the nanny is in the room or a relative is pesent to care for the child. The chatting with child continues during our attempted conversation even though all I need is 2 minutes of time. Oh well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. I would probably be just as bad if I had a toddler, but, I hope not.

I only saw a portion of hot topics yesterday because the show was interupted with news of a school closing due to a carbon monoxide leak. It never fails. Eleven o'clock has to be the worst time to get interupted. It was that way when SO came on at that time. It was so odd. The part I did see they talked to Elisabeth's friend that she met in college. They chatted about raising kids and potty training, should you give food rewards for good behavior to children, etc.

The friend thought Elisabeth and Tim are ALWAYS trying to educate Grace, the daughter. Even Elisabeth admitts that when Grace is present, her full attention is focused on her and she doesn't get a chance to talk to anyone else who is there. I have friends who believe the child must ALWAYS be engaged with an adult...during every waking hour.

I guess that's being a new mom. I have friends who do that and it drives me crazy. These are single moms who stay home alot and don't get out except for work. They beg me to come over and have dinner and watch a movie and chat. Then when I get there they constantly talk to their toddler and focus on the child the entire meal. Even when the child is playing contently alone, they must get up and go engage the child with conversation. They refuse to have a conversation with me other than a few words that involve the child.

After dinner they put the movie in and tell me to go ahead and start and they will be right back after they get the child to sleep. But they don't mention how they must do the bedtime rituals, then lay down with the child until the child goes to sleep.
By this time it's one hour into the movie and mom comes out and is too sleepy to watch the movie or talk to me.

I think it's really sad for these mom's, but, I fail to understand why they can't lighten up just a little while they have a guest over. I know I'm welcome and they are happy I came, but, the experience is so bad for me that I don't feel like going back, but, I do, because they are my friends and I know they are lonely.

These are the same people who cannot have a 2 minute conversation on the phone with you without interupting the conversation to chat with their child about what book they have picked up or what they want for snack time. The mother will do this even when the nanny is in the room or a relative is pesent to care for the child. The chatting with child continues during our attempted conversation even though all I need is 2 minutes of time. Oh well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. I would probably be just as bad if I had a toddler, but, I hope not.

I think it's nice for parents to focus attention on their child, however, if a child is always the focus of attention I believe they may grow up with a distorted sense of entitlement... in the real world they will not always be the focus of attention.

I personally find the constant interrupting of a phone conversation rude... when my daughter was very young I thought it appropriate to let her know I'll talk to her when I get off the phone, or I would tell my friend... I'd have to get back to her. I believe it's teaching manners... plain and simple.

Amen, sister. Why is it some people don't have a clue?

Debby wrote:

QUOTE:
Amen, sister. Why is it some people don't have a clue?

I believe most parents do their best... some behaviors are learned and passed along to children... some behaviors are common sense...

I think sometimes people are on automatic, and don't realize how rude their behavior is.

I've always treated others the way I want to be treated.

I agree........the word, yet again, is Balance!!!!

If we put our children first in the general sense (and I do!) then they are secure and loved, but have the independence and confidence to function in many situations!

It's a combination of manners, engaging children, the situation involved, etc.

You got it mazzy............it's sooooooooo simply just a matter of treating others how you want to be treated!!