Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I do think some things are harder to grant forgiveness for... It doesn't mean you have to forget the wrong that was done...but you can choose to forgive.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home...and I have plenty of gripes about how things were... My parents are much better grandparents then they ever were parents. But I love them and forgive them because I know they really didn't have the parenting skills they should or could have. Both grew up in difficult situations themselves. I do find myself feeling resentful once in awhile and it bothers me that some of those thoughts even enter my brain!

Sometimes Forgiving/forgiveness is a blessing and a gift you give yourself.. Letting go of anger and bad feelings benefits both parties. I am speaking more to one time incidents and not repeated offenses where trust is irrevocably lost.

Anger and resentment can create stress... and spill over to healthy relationships, work and even affect rational thinking!

I think we all have times when it can be harder than usual...

I will usually be more than willing to forgive if the other person is able to appreciate and acknowledge the issue and offers a sincere apology.

I am generally a forgiving person, but I have learned that I need time. I know negative... no good feelings are harmful to me, and I have learned it's good for me to let them go. Sometimes it's easier said than done... LOL

Sometimes I need to turn those feelings over to God in order to let them go... sometimes I need to keep turning them over because sometimes the negative feelings just keep coming back. It can be an exhausting process... LOL

I have learned that when I truly forgive... it can be the greatest gift to myself... although at the time I think it is for the person I am forgiving... because you see it comes back to me.

I remember hearing a woman on a news program talk about forgiving the killer who brutally killed her husband... at first I could not understand how she would be able to forgive something of that magnitude, but then I realized she loved herself too much not to forgive this killer. The hate, the anger, the fury... all those negative feelings would eat her up... so yes she was able to forgive the killer because she loved herself too much not to. I will never forget this story.

Mazzy wrote:

QUOTE:
I remember hearing a woman on a news program talk about forgiving the killer who brutally killed her husband... at first I could not understand how she would be able to forgive something of that magnitude, but then I realized she loved herself too much not to forgive this killer. The hate, the anger, the fury... all those negative feelings would eat her up... so yes she was able to forgive the killer because she loved herself too much not to. I will never forget this story.

great story Mazzy!

Truly extraordinary lady to forgive a person that killed her husband that she had shared her life with. I personally don't think I could ever forgive someone that killed someone I dearly love.

This doesn't mean that I don't love myself any less.

mazzy wrote:

QUOTE:
I remember hearing a woman on a news program talk about forgiving the killer who brutally killed her husband... at first I could not understand how she would be able to forgive something of that magnitude, but then I realized she loved herself too much not to forgive this killer. The hate, the anger, the fury... all those negative feelings would eat her up... so yes she was able to forgive the killer because she loved herself too much not to. I will never forget this story.

This is going on now with the Amish in Lancaster. Their prayers aren't just themselves but also the killers family. It has been mentioned that some of the victims' families are planning to go to the killer's family and offer their prayers and support. They see the killer's family as suffering as well(I believe this too). No anger at the killer either... they grieve, they feel a strong sense of loss ...but no anger. I remember when the children were accidently ran over by a car years ago and how the Amish went to the driver and forgave him and prayed for him. I've always been impressed with how deeply they feel about it.

I see things this way, God loved us so much that he gave his only son to die on that old rugged cross so we could be forgiven of all our sins. If Jesus can do something so huge bigger than words can ever say, then we should forgive anything because no matter what it is it will never be as big as the sacrifice that Jesus made. I try to forgive people no matter what they may do to me, I mean if I can forgive my mom and dad for abandoment then I can fogrive anyone for anything. I mean yeah it hurts that they would do that to me and all the things they did over the years, but I still forgive and love them I always will. Not just because their my parents, but because I want to and I know it's what God want me to do. We should all forgive everyone no matter what they do to us, I know how it is to loose a loved one and even harder than usual by watching that loved one pass away. Although that guy did kill innocent children and then took his own life, God still loved him no matter what. I know the pain the families are going through is tremendious, but those loved ones are all better off than any of us are. The families need to realize one thing though, God is not the one who causes us pain and all these bad things but satan does. It was a work of evil he took over this man and revenge that is never the answer. Something that happend over 20 years ago can not be changed, but just pray for all those who were effected by this. Even the family of the shooter, for they didn't know he had been planning it. Another thing is there's no need to worry about those who were lost because their already in a better place. just pray for the families. I know that may seem werid comming from a 19 year old, but hey it's how I see things anyways and we're all intitled to our own opnion. Yeah I could go out and hurt or do something to those who hurt me we all could, but instead we forgive. Now I know the old saying forgive and forget, well let me tell you how I see it. Yeah we forgive but no we don't always forget and you know what that's ok. God knows our hearts and will always forgive everyone, as I try my best to do. Yeah some things take longer than others but always, always forgive. You never know what the last thing you say to someone will be, I wish many times that I could see my uncle once more just to say I love you. The last time I saw him was in hospital bed in the ccu and I had to say goodbye until God comes back, but I'll be with him again one day. Thanks for your time and reading all of this, hopefully you didn't fall asleep on me lol. Try to stay happy I know it's hard but hey God loves us all.

Take care and God Bless everyone,
Sue

About forgiveness

Do you forgive those responsible for the September 11th WTC tragedy?