Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Just a quick peek to say hello to everyone, I've missed ya'll!! Havent' even been home to use puter, nevermind watch the DVR'd episodes, am catching up today a bit...

Anyway, we got Hospice in for Mam (Scottish version of 'Mom', on the 11th, and started her on morphine drops and lorazepam (trank), and she lasted til last Wed, the 19th.
Many of the family crap was even WAAAAY more tough than losing her, at the time.
It's calmed down terrificly, many amends made.

Dad was mad at me, and only took sis and HER new hub, to do ALL of the funeral arrangments! DELIBERATELY left me out of everything, sis had a cell phone and knew I had DPA on everything!!!! And she still didnt' call. They added all of my new BIL's 'step family' that my mother nor any of us know, most of them in jail right now. Literally.

And the worst? They left both of my *BROTHERS** out of the original Obit!!! Put in *strangers* and left out OUR brothers!!!@!!!! Talk about LIVID! And even when told, (after I fixed it with funeral home, and newspaper before release), my sister actually LAUGHED about it!!!!

But they made many 'mistakes' of which *I* had to go back in, playing the 'Bad Guy', and change around, as unbeknownst to Dad, the Butthead, Mam had signed over DPA, (Durable Power of Attorney), not only for med care, but made me the 'Executrix' of her will and all the arrangements!!!
The man was raging mad!

He treated her as if he had worshipped the ground she walked on and got drunk on all the sympathy....until my two Aunts, Pat and Winnie, (same ones came out in Jan, for support), laid into him about how he beat her, abused me, and other family members, and literally made her life hell on earth, while she was alive!

I'm over all the anger now, and peaceful, but GAWD does this ever HURT!!! The pain in my heart is *literal* and it's *breaking* to know I'll not see her for awhile.....but she's away from him, and that's a GOOD THING. She literally prayed to be taken quickly because of the atrocious way he treated her, for 53 yrs! She got her wish granted by God, and is now, I know, in a much better place...Heaven. (Of course my view is a bit different than most ppl's. )

I truly believe she was expecting 'Purgatory', (and I mean no offense to anyone who believes in it), but she was so holy and good, deep down, and so meticulous in her faith, that I know she met all of our relatives, my brothers and Jesus and Mary waiting right there for her, 'pass purgatory, go directly to Heaven, pick up your Wings and Halo while passing along....'

Love to ya'll and will be back, I'm raring to go, what with allison and lisa....sheesh, can they GET anymore hyberbolic???

Princess Piper

PS my nephew stayed over the night of the funeral, and brought home.....yup....another baby kitten. So we now have three, and I told him if he brings over another he'd have to go, instead/with the kitty!
Anyway, she's almost 3 months old, and her name is.....<drumroll> ....named by me alone, thankyouverymuch! ................................Isabella Jellybelly,

Piper, all my sympathy on the loss of your Mam. Know that words are inadequate at this time, but like you, I believe in a "better place." God Bless.

Piper,

Condolences regarding the loss of your mom... I hope you have many fond memories inspite of the obvious family issues. Good luck sorting through all the legal stuff that might still need to be dealt with. I'm sure somebody will try to make your job difficult.

KPW

Piper, I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your Mam. At such a difficult time, it's a shame that you having to deal with insensitive family members. Unfortunately I know from personal experience that a death often brings out the worst in people. It's difficult to understand. My thoughts are with you.

Piper *hugsssssssss* so sorry for your loss and all the turmoil in the family going on. I know how strong you are and that you can rise above the childishness but if you ever need to 'vent' you know where I am. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of family antics.. a way to supress other emotions you're going through at this time with your mam's passing, just try to keep your head above water and take time to find some peace amongst the chaos okay?
(also remember, it's great to be strong but we all need to sit with ourselves being 'weak' too when we need, it's therapeutic)

Love ya girl

I really want to say a huge 'THANK YOU' to ceilidh, KPW, Debby and my dear Myst!

Thanks also to the many who e-mailed me personally!

It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be, don't know why I thought it wouldn't!
I do KNOW she wanted to go, to get away from my father, and the way he treated her all of their lives together. He's going around playing the poor grieving widower, still, and will continue. None of us really have much sympathy for him. He beat her physically, emotionally and mentally for 53 years,and now he wants *sympathy* !!!!!! BAH

(Cover your eyes, if you're sensitive, but I told him that if he wanted 'symapthy' he could "go look in the dictionary between s**t and syph****s&quot

I don't think I'm being too hard on him at all, after listening to their last big fight, when he told her to "Die! Die! Die! Already!"
That was the nite I ran after him and verbally accosted him for over an hour. I had to put at least a one hundred $ bill, in the 'potty mouth jar' we have at our home.

I had never used that kind of language on anyone, and NEVER even spoke it, toward my parents. Until that nite. My mother, such a pious woman, wasn't even insulted, as she said it was about time.
The rage is gone, and I don't even feel bad for him, Nor mad at him. He can reap what he sowed. He stops by every once in awhile, and we are civil and polite to him, but that's about it. Oh well. My mom's safe from his rage and torment, forever now.

Anyway, one really wonderful thing has evolved, my sister and I are doing so very well with each other, we really have learned to let the past go, and really be there for each other, to hold, comfort, laugh, cry....all of it...together, something I and my mom had prayed for for years!

I really appreciate the words of consolation from all of you. it means a LOT to me.

Thanks,
MaryBeth