Okay, so I saw a bit of a similarity and got that out. The main thing was about how ,much her mother was like mine, the martyr-type. Keeping the peace at any cost.
But first:
Now, watching yesterday's show, when the LCs made up a quake, in the house, tossing everything everywhere. Made this huge mess. allison gets up first, then TJ. Thank God TJ got up! She then wakes every one, gotta love that gal
,
TJ: "I'm not doing all of this by myself!"
But then we have our 'martyr ally'. <wonder where she gets THIS from....see below...>
She of course, even being the martyr, is a "BIG ROLE" (in her hollywood mind), and just *knows* this whole thing has to do with HER exercises/process. (Like they're gonna make the whole house a mess, taking all 6 of them while to clean it all up, just for her.)
Yeah....she's really 'opening up'. One minute I think she's gonna 'get something', and the next it's fall way back five steps. <exasperating, until you hear the phone call>
Then after TJ wakes everyone, and they are all in the kitchen, she's saying, all a-flutter, "Oh no, this is horrible, and it's all *my* fault!"
C'mon, does she EVER get it?
That it's not the 'allison show with guests"? (Insanity's description: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.)
I think I put that out there for me, rather than as a question for her, as I don't see her ever 'getting it'. She gets up, sees the mess, thinks it's part of *her* process, and that even though she *knows* it's something Iyanla is testing her on, she is STILL gonna clean it up, by herself, anyway!
Sorry, but I do sincerely keep trying to find something worthwhile, not even something really great, about all of the HGs, but all I see is a "Starting Over *GRADUATE*, back for more help, and striving to find something else she can come up with to *stay in the house*. As her mom said on the phone, that morning, "she's got *her hollywood*" (paraprased)
Now, that phone call, was telling. Her mom trying to lay this huge guilt trip on her....I could have scripted it from my own conversations with my mother, only I don't buy into any of it, I will immediately call her on it and stop the martyrdom. But, I *can* at least see that allison 'comes by it honestly'....so to speak.
Anyone else have the 'mom-martyr'? My sis and I call ours, "Mother Mary the Martyr", heh. She gets peeved but she can see that we don't buy it anymore.
One big thing mom does like allison's mom, is when she's peeved, on the phone, she will suddenly have 'something in the oven that needs tending, right away', if it's not an agreeable conversation to *her*.
Then listen to how she words it in group, that "her mother could die and only five ppl would know/care"
It really brings up the fact that allison doesn't *listen*, that what she hears is always a bit different than what is actually said. This is something Iyanla has pointed out to her from the beginning.
I think she hears what *she* wants to hear out of a conversation, and makes it about her again. She's got it bad, her mom has her pretty well coiled around her finger with guilt. She's a grown woman and really needs to get away from that toxic environment!
I did actually feel bad for her, after listening to the following, had to get it all down correctly so as no misunderstandings IMO:
allison: <high pitched feminine voice> "Hey mom, it's me"
mother: "Whatcha up to?"
allison: "I'm just geting ready to go into a session"
mother: "I just talked to Aunt Gail about you, and she said you have no self esteem...and that kills me." <worry/martyr enters her voice> "You had it as a child?"
allison: "Well, I'm getting it all fixed"
mother: <HUGE matryrdom sigh> "I could be dead in here in this house tomorrow and nobody would know it for five days."
allison: "Who ? You? That is so not true."
mother: "Who'd know it?"
allison: "Me."
mother: <really whiney voice> "When are you coming home?
allison: "Soon" <high pitched voice>
mother: :Well, you're not gonna have any friends when ya come home, if you're not too careful."
allison: "I will have friends." <baffled>
mother: "No you're not gonna have friends when ya come home if you're not careful." <kinda whiney again>
allison: <laughing> "Who am I not gonna have as a friend?" <wonderment>
mother: "Well I'm just tellin you there are a lot of ppl that are overwrought that you have just pushed the panic button too many times about '*your* life' and '*your* Hollywood' and '*your* everything' and, um, they're tired of it."
allison: "Then those are not really good friends."
mother: "Well they *could* be really good friends." <very insidiously>
allison: "We're gonna have to just remember to agree to disagree. Well you have a good day, mom." <nicely>
mother <very sarcastically sighing> "Yeah right."
allison: <laughing softly> "What do you mean? What's the matter?" <wonderment>
mother: <haughty martyrdom SIGH> "Nothing"
allison: <laughing> "Why are you being like that?"
mother: <sighing, sadly> "Im not. I gotta go take my baked potato out of the oven"
allison: "For lunch?"
mother: "I love you too. Bye." <click>
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