Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I would love to have the opinikons of others on this board regarding discussing the HG's. It seems that there is a frequent visitor in the SOT message board that repeatedly speaks about how "Negative" we are here and how the "HG's will not come here because we are "Negative"......sorry, I do not see this at all. I believe that on this sight we discuss the "Issues" and the "HG's" as "WE SEE Them", imperfect and human. Isn't this why we watched the show in the first place? To see how ordinary people deal with ordinary issues. In my opinion, it is perfectly fine to discuss both the pro's and con's of each HG as long as we do not bash them on a personal level ie: looks, income: or as a person, without redemption.

What do you think?

LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
I would love to have the opinikons of others on this board regarding discussing the HG's. It seems that there is a frequent visitor in the SOT message board that repeatedly speaks about how "Negative" we are here and how the "HG's will not come here because we are "Negative"......sorry, I do not see this at all. I believe that on this sight we discuss the "Issues" and the "HG's" as "WE SEE Them", imperfect and human. Isn't this why we watched the show in the first place? To see how ordinary people deal with ordinary issues. In my opinion, it is perfectly fine to discuss both the pro's and con's of each HG as long as we do not bash them on a personal level ie: looks, income: or as a person, without redemption.

What do you think?

This message board is what it is. A community creates its own dynamic by the personalities, commonalities and commaraderies that the individuals bring to it. If a person doesn't like the neighborhood, they are free to leave and find a neighborhood that suits their personality and interests. They should not stay and expect everyone else to change.

The "frequent visitor" that Lauren B describes sounds like an "Allison" to me. Someone who comes into the house and starts re-arranging the furniture and telling everyone that lives there what's wrong with THEM. And then whines and complains because the people that live in the house everyday aren't bowing at the pedestal she put herself on.

"Frequent visitor" needs to look in the mirror and ask herself why she insists the world be rosy and everyone make nicey-nicey and never speak THE TRUTH! She sounds like someone who wants to live in a FAKE world with her FAKE smile, her FAKE voice and her FAKE relationships all the while ignoring the GUILT and SHAME baggage she is dragging behind her.

People suffering from guilt and shame don't want to HEAR the truth, don't want to LOOK in the mirror, because the image is ugly and the truth is ugly and it's messy and having to deal with that would turn their life upside down. Better to keep their rotten little secrets kept locked in a pretty painted box on the shelf in the closet. But they smell the stench of it every waking minute. So they scrub and they clean and they try to do it perfectly but the stench is still there. Everyone that enters smells it but the "Allison" tells them there must be something wrong with their nose.

Personally, I've never learned a thing from a FAKE person, someone who doesn't speak their TRUTH. I gain insight and wisdom from people who march into a room, spread their cards on the table and scream "HELP!".
I learn from Jill's and Lisa's, and TJ's and Kelly's, and even Kim's.
As Iyanla would say, they are women who are willing to LOOK at the "CRIMES" they have committed against themselves and learn to do things that produce better self images and better results in their own lives.

This line is for "Miss Frequent Visitor"---When MOST of the HG's have their own websites, why would I care that they might not come here? This message board is for us, not them.
You need to ask yourself, what are you afraid of? That is the question that begins the journey of self-awareness and healing.
I've Been there, Done that, Have the T-shirt. It's quite a hill to climb, but the view is beautiful freedom and a life lived with INTENTION!!

LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
I would love to have the opinikons of others on this board regarding discussing the HG's. It seems that there is a frequent visitor in the SOT message board that repeatedly speaks about how "Negative" we are here and how the "HG's will not come here because we are "Negative"......sorry, I do not see this at all. I believe that on this sight we discuss the "Issues" and the "HG's" as "WE SEE Them", imperfect and human. Isn't this why we watched the show in the first place? To see how ordinary people deal with ordinary issues. In my opinion, it is perfectly fine to discuss both the pro's and con's of each HG as long as we do not bash them on a personal level ie: looks, income: or as a person, without redemption.

What do you think?

This message board is what it is. A community creates its own dynamic by the personalities, commonalities and commaraderies that the individuals bring to it. If a person doesn't like the neighborhood, they are free to leave and find a neighborhood that suits their personality and interests. They should not stay and expect everyone else to change.

The "frequent visitor" that Lauren B describes sounds like an "Allison" to me. Someone who comes into the house and starts re-arranging the furniture and telling everyone that lives there what's wrong with THEM. And then whines and complains because the people that live in the house everyday aren't bowing at the pedestal she put herself on.

"Frequent visitor" needs to look in the mirror and ask herself why she insists the world be rosy and everyone make nicey-nicey and never speak THE TRUTH! She sounds like someone who wants to live in a FAKE world with her FAKE smile, her FAKE voice and her FAKE relationships all the while ignoring the GUILT and SHAME baggage she is dragging behind her.

People suffering from guilt and shame don't want to HEAR the truth, don't want to LOOK in the mirror, because the image is ugly and the truth is ugly and it's messy and having to deal with that would turn their life upside down. Better to keep their rotten little secrets kept locked in a pretty painted box on the shelf in the closet. But they smell the stench of it every waking minute. So they scrub and they clean and they try to do it perfectly but the stench is still there. Everyone that enters smells it but the "Allison" tells them there must be something wrong with their nose.

Personally, I've never learned a thing from a FAKE person, someone who doesn't speak their TRUTH. I gain insight and wisdom from people who march into a room, spread their cards on the table and scream "HELP!".
I learn from Jill's and Lisa's, and TJ's and Kelly's, and even Kim's.
As Iyanla would say, they are women who are willing to LOOK at the "CRIMES" they have committed against themselves and learn to do things that produce better self images and better results in their own lives.

This line is for "Miss Frequent Visitor"---When MOST of the HG's have their own websites, why would I care that they might not come here? This message board is for us, not them.
You need to ask yourself, what are you afraid of? That is the question that begins the journey of self-awareness and healing.
I've Been there, Done that, Have the T-shirt. It's quite a hill to climb, but the view is beautiful freedom and a life lived with INTENTION!!

For the record, I respect the manner in which, Tara, manages this board. No hidden agenda! Poster's are free to post their honest thoughts and feelings regarding SO and any other topic. I have seen very little, if any, personal bashing of other posters. We are free to like or dislike the behaviors and personalities of any of the HG's. This board is NOT an HG Fan Club, of banning anyone that expresses an honest opinion, that is disaproved by the mods.......because the True Agenda is getting the former HG's to post here. I believe that this board is a haven for "Free Speach" and though we may disagree at times, it is always civil.

Snaps for Tara!!!!!!

LaurenB wrote:

QUOTE:
For the record, I respect the manner in which, Tara, manages this board. No hidden agenda! Poster's are free to post their honest thoughts and feelings regarding SO and any other topic. I have seen very little, if any, personal bashing of other posters. We are free to like or dislike the behaviors and personalities of any of the HG's. This board is NOT an HG Fan Club, of banning anyone that expresses an honest opinion, that is disaproved by the mods.......because the True Agenda is getting the former HG's to post here. I believe that this board is a haven for "Free Speach" and though we may disagree at times, it is always civil.

Snaps for Tara!!!!!!

I have said it before and it bears repeating, this is the best message board I've seen in a long time. Better even than Dr. Phil and Oprah mostly because people post to the topic. I love that. You click on a subject and pretty much that is what the people hear are talking about.

BTW, I went back through the site guidelines and there is nothing about the "True Agenda" (as you put it, Lauren of this board being a place to get former HG's to post. Before I ever posted here I read all the posts on each HG and there was nothing that gave me the impression that this board was for them.
I personally don't see it as a "Fan Club" either.
There are other boards out there for those purposes but people just usually rant, they aren't there to learn and grow.
Like I said, this is the best board!
I also get Jill's e-mails and I read her blogs. There is much to learn from that woman
Dallas

Dallas, sorry that you misunderstood my statement. My point was, that there is NO Hidden Agenda on this board. Especially regarding the recruitment of former HG's to this board. Certainly, I am sure that they are welcome to join in the discussions, but that is not at all the mission here.

There is another board that makes it's agenda, recruiting former HG's. Those that attempt to post anything that is constured as unflattering are given a hard time.

Let's face it, the HG's are ordinary women, putting their lives out there on national TV. These women are not experts nor are they Role Models, they are just women. Any honest discussion of these women and this show will be both flattering and unflattering. The important thing is to be free to speak our own truth and our own thoughts.