Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

What a fantastic idea! It could be tricky considering the size of the group, but in some of the one on one encounters it could work; instant feedback on the behavior!

Just my two cents...being...told...what your problem is is usually not well received. Realizing it on your own is what leads to dealing with it. Nobody can "decide" that another person is an alcoholic, for instance. Also, when you become too focused on someone else's issue....it can often mean that you are avoiding dealing with your own!
I think feedback generally goes in...but sometimes it needs a lot of
"chewing" to get it down.

I liked Lisa telling TJ, in essence 'what does it have to with you'?
As a retort to her opinions... Short and sweet..

I like TJ and Lisa bugs me to death... but TJ does have this tendency to overexplain.. and overanalyze.

KPW1956 wrote:

QUOTE:
I liked Lisa telling TJ, in essence 'what does it have to with you'?
As a retort to her opinions... Short and sweet..

I like TJ and Lisa bugs me to death... but TJ does have this tendency to overexplain.. and overanalyze.

I missed that!! Reminds me of an Ann Landers column, years ago re commenting on a person's weight gain...she said to ask..."and your point was"" Loved that!!!
I think that TJ's over explaining comes from wanting to be sure that she is understood...but, when you talk so much, people tend to tune out, and all they are really hearing is the school teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons...waa waa waa waa!
"What does it have to do with you?" LOL...I can think of a relative or two I'd like to say that to!!!

I was thinking along the same lines. It's not so much what you have to say, but how you say it. Years ago, I was a member of a role-play group. It was a blast. You could play a scene and post-mortem it with the whole group however many times until you finally got down to playing it the way you really wanted to. I remember very little about the exact scenes now. What I remember from that now is that you always have the choice.

(If I see Allison's snotty little fantasy explanation about what a "wino" is one more time, I shall scream. Final answer.)


Debby wrote:

QUOTE:
I don't know the answer Jhal. It can be so frustrating when words of wisdom go in one ear and out the other. As much as I dislike it when Dr. Phil hides behind a mirror and instructs his client as to what to say on a date via a hidden microphone in the cient's ear, I think it would help the SO hg.

Since the words won't come on their own, perhaps a little instruction from the coach might help them. The coach could also give them other words of advice through the earpiece such as, "Don't roll your eyes at her, she's just trying to support you," or "Now is the time to give off your butt and do that assignment you were given 2 days ago, or "Lisa, stop salivating and get back to work and away from those men."
Heeee!

TJ was right about Lisa being shallow.