Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I was not an every day viewer if this season at first, so I did not really understand the irritation re TJ....I know she did well in the end...but today, she drove me batty!! So judgmental of others, while not "getting it" herself! Could really see why she had trouble connecting on the outside...it would have been hard to "stay with" the monologue at the dinner table! Phew!

I think that was a glimpse of what the household had been dealing with. Nice to know they came through the other end of the 'issues'.. and became great friends!

The one thing I caught with today's show... is that TJ appeared to be reading her comments from her journal.. Maybe she had formulated some thoughts earlier during an exercise and wanted to share them outloud. But a bit out of place at the dinner table! It looked like everyone was annoyed at TJ and trying to hold their tongue.

KPW1956 wrote:

QUOTE:
I think that was a glimpse of what the household had been dealing with. Nice to know they came through the other end of the 'issues'.. and became great friends!

The one thing I caught with today's show... is that TJ appeared to be reading her comments from her journal.. Maybe she had formulated some thoughts earlier during an exercise and wanted to share them outloud. But a bit out of place at the dinner table! It looked like everyone was annoyed at TJ and trying to hold their tongue.

Yes! The dinner table scene was mind boggling! As I said, I missed a lot at the start of the season....more than I realized. I was afraid that they were going to start laughing, which would have been awful for TJ, but they seemed to "keep their cool." I know she came a long way, but it was enlightening to see what I had missed, in that I never really understood why people seemed so frustrated with her.

Today with TJ, I could not help thinking of a quote I have in one of my notebooks...."In life, you will have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut...take advantage of all of them." IMO....along with the constant talking , she was being pretty offensive, and a lot self centered! I think she was generally well intentioned...but you know what they say about good intentions, lol!

I like TJ. She's honest and tries to solve her problems. I like Jill too because she does the same thing.

Recently Iyanla asked the hgs to be honest with each other to get rid of the 'funk' in the house. They spoke about it after group and I guess they forgot about it after that. Two opportunities came up in which all hgs could have contributed honesty but they didn't take it. Instead they did what they always do. Nothing.

TJ was on Allison's case about her drinking, and on, and on, and on. This was a perfect opportunity for Allison to tell TJ to back off. But, what did she do. She smiled and acted passive aggressive. "Wino's aren't alcoholics." What a line of crap that was. All she had to do was say "TJ, I get that you're worried about me but I'd really appreciate it if you would stop now." I bet you TJ would have stopped.

Jill was trying to get some honest feelings out of Christine when she spoke of how her boyfriend's friend dissed her over the phone. "I wish I hadn't brought this up now." To which Jill replied: "Why are you getting angry?" Instead of saying to Jill's face what she said in the private room "I feel as if I'm not being heard". She just wanted to drop it.

What's up with these guests. It seems to me that only TJ and Jill are the ones who are honest and they also seem to get rejected by that honesty. Go figure!

I don't know the answer Jhal. It can be so frustrating when words of wisdom go in one ear and out the other. As much as I dislike it when Dr. Phil hides behind a mirror and instructs his client as to what to say on a date via a hidden microphone in the cient's ear, I think it would help the SO hg.

Since the words won't come on their own, perhaps a little instruction from the coach might help them. The coach could also give them other words of advice through the earpiece such as, "Don't roll your eyes at her, she's just trying to support you," or "Now is the time to give off your butt and do that assignment you were given 2 days ago, or "Lisa, stop salivating and get back to work and away from those men."
Heeee!