Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

In watching todays previews for next weeks shows.... It showed Jennifer from season 2 talking with Antonia. Presumably about Antonia's father issue. Jennifer's dad was also in prison and she was able to forgive him and let him into her heart and have some semblance of a relationship with him.

Her conflict last year though was not credit... but the fact that she had to grow up so fast NOT having a father around...and had to shoulder alot of responsibility too soon.

It will be interesting to see how Antonia takes what Jennifer shares.

Since there lifestyles under similar circumstances were so vastly different.

It will be great to see Jennifer again. Iyanla said in her chat on WCW that Jennifer is getting married soon.

I think Antonia doesn't want to "resolve" her father's issues because she doesn't want to disappoint her mother and step-dad. She has once said in confessional that they never talked about her father in her household. The topic was a no no.

We shall see.

Antonia's money issues are clearly her priority... (Unless of course her mom and step-dad intend to continue to bail her out...)

So the bio-dad issue won't really be addressed here. Maybe an awareness for Antonia, but there's simply not enough time to fully and adequately address both.


PeggyHill

Jennifer's father was an ongoing source of active pain to her. She acknowledged early on that she wanted a relationship with him but was afraid he would not reciprocate. Antonia is coming from a completely different place, which is just as valid. She says she does not want anything to do with the father and she may very well be telling the truth and the whole truth. Jennifer had to shoulder a huge burden growing up, with a sick mother and a sister to care for, and may have missed the presence of a father. Antonia may have had completely different circumstances. Also, she is a different person. There doesn't have to be a pit of despair or sense of loss for Antonia or for everyone in a similar situation. The issue has been brought to her attention numerous times, and if she does decide it is an issue for her, she will pursue it. I do not see her as afraid to do so.

It will be good for Antonia to hear Jennifer's story, but if Antonia gets a little short with people who assume that she has to be hiding some tragic sense of loss for this father in name only, I don't really blame her.

I agree with you Val.

It's certainly may be enlightening for Antonia to meet with someone who had some similar circumstances and just be open and supportive/supported.

But it may just be "forcing an issue" or creating one that doesn't exist! I have a couple of great friends (2 seperate families) who were raised by awesome single moms and other extended family and close friends and are very stable and loving and secure adults.

I like your point, val, about everyone being different and affected differently, even by the "same" situation. We all do have a completely different set of *hardwire* in our brains and genetic make-up.

I think any way of feeling is extremely valid and I would certainly hope the show is capable of addressing and appropriately dealing with both. That's truly what helps all of us watching this show, to know that we are not all "cookie cutter molds" and realize and be open to many different ways of healing.

I recall that Sinea ( SO2) made references to her absent father too...however SO didn't force the issue on her. Her goal was to develop independence. At times I am puzzled as to why they choose bash (oops did I type that out loud ? lol)I mean direct certain houseguests toward a step or goal that they just don't want to do. If we were to step into the minds of those SO producers it might be a very scary place!