|
5/2/06
Today’s show starts with Niambi making her bed and in confessional she says that Iyanla called her out on not fully committing to the process and how frustrating it was for her to hear that because she feels she is giving as much as she can and she doesn’t know if she has any more to give.
Antonia is on the computer emailing her friends because she is frustrated with the housemates and life couches because everyone thinks she is in debt because of her Dad. She doesn’t agree with it and doesn’t want to hear what anyone has to say regarding how talking to her dad is going to help her heal.
Rhonda meets with Christie regarding her 5k run. Rhonda says in confessional that it’s going to be a difficult and complicated task but in the end it will prove that she can handle any difficult tasks. Rhonda wants to hear her vision of the 5k. Christie says that her vision is women giving back to the community through youth mentorship programs. Rhonda tells Christie she is going to meet with a marketing firm and graphic designer to help her with her logo.
Rhonda and Christie talk about her brother Kane. Rhonda wants to know what Christie is going to do for him. In confessional Christie shares that her mother is a drug addict and homeless for the past 12 years and Kanes father has been in and out of jail. She shares that Kane doesn’t have anybody to help him grow into a man. She knows she can help him but she feels guilty because she wants to do things for herself – for the first time. Rhonda tells her she needs to make a decision regarding Kane before she leaves the starting over house. Specifically, Rhonda wants to know what Christie wants to do to honor her brother.
Cassie, Sommer and Antonia are doing a puzzle. Cassie says she missed hearing her sons voice yesterday. Sommer says that she is sure she will talk to him today and Cassie says that she doesn’t have a choice because she is going to have to call him to find out if he is coming.
Christie, Jodi and Niambi are talking. Christie is upset and is talking about Rhonda’s question about what she is going to do for her brother. In confessional Christie says that she knows deep down inside that she has to do something but she doesn’t want to resent her brother or feel guilty. She is confused.
Rhonda comes to visit Cassie. Rhonda asks if Dustin is coming to the SO house. Cassie says that she called him yesterday at lunch and he said the he would call her when he gets done with work. She said that if he doesn’t call she will call him because she has to know if he is coming. In confessional Rhonda says that Dustin may not be ready to come or to move forward with Cassie because it may jeopardize his relationship with his adoptive mother. Cassie doesn’t understand why the adoptive mother would turn her back on Dustin now. Rhonda says she may be insulted and hurt and doesn’t have the capacity to share. In confessional Cassie says that she knows she is his birth mother but not his mother and his adoptive mother will always be his mother. She says that if a mother can love more than one child why can’t a child love more then one mother? Why does one have to lose.
Sommer and Christie are in the kitchen brainstorming about Christie’s run. They are bouncing ideas off of each other. In confessional Christie says how all the ladies in the house are being so supportive. She says she knows that Sommer and Jodi have strong personalities but they are leaving it up to her to make the final decision. She is excited by how it all is coming together.
The doorbell rings and its Iyanla for Niambi. They go out to the patio. Iyanla says in confessional that Niambi has been resisting the process and is very attached to image. She has to make things look good and doesn’t get to the pain underneath the image. Iyanla asks her what fighting for her life means to her. Niambi says that she is ready to stand up and be who she is and ask for what she wants. Niambi says that she does feel bound by her relationship with Mr. Situation. Iyanla suggest that she is addicted to the pain and the pain that he and the relationship brings because it reinforces the negative self talk. Niambi says she wants to contact him but doesn’t know if she needs an emotional fix or its because she misses him. Iyanla asks her what difference does it make and Niambi says that she doesn’t want to disappoint Iyanla. Iyanla says in confessional it’s time for a reality check this isn’t about anyone but Niambi and she needs to learn this now otherwise Iyanla is afraid Niambi won’t make it through the process. Iyanla has Niambi put on her “indulging in tv day” clothes and meet her in garden.
Niambi is wearing a t-shirt, sweats, slippers and no make up. Iyanla asks Niambi what is going on in her body. Niambi says shame and she is afraid. Iyanla asks her of what? Niambi says she ashamed and afraid that the truth is ugly. She has a lot of guilt. She says the thing she feels most guilty about is terminating a pregnancy and she feels that god has left her alone and she deserves to be left alone and breaks down in tears.
Cassie is talking with Rhonda. Cassie says that the only person that can make her feel ashamed is the birth mother because of her past. In a confessional Cassie says its going to be hard because Dustin is going to have to tell his Adoptive Mother that he knows who Cassie is and he knows she is alive and he knows the history. He also knows that his Adoptive Mother lied to him. Rhonda reminds Cassie that she has to honor his relationship with his Adoptive Mother regardless if she agrees with it.
Christie is at the marketing firm with Jodi to see the graphic artist. She says she needs help with the logo. One idea she comes up with for a logo is Dare to Change. She brings a starting over graduation trophy. They work on the computer a bit using the statue as a guide.
Niambi is crying and Iyanla asks her why she feels she deserves to be alone. Niambi says because she did some bad stuff. Iyanla says that she has been beating herself up over and over – Iyanla says lets do one good beating and get it over with. Iyanla pulls out two bats and tells her to choose one. Niambi chooses the _meta_l hard one as opposed to a plastic bat. Iyanla has her get up and go over to a red punching bag with pictures of Niambi. Niambi doesn’t hesitate and starts swinging with all of might and yelling at herself ugly, stupid, afaid, mean, evil and SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH! ( I can think a few faces I’d like on that punching bag ..hehe).
Jodi finds Antonia laying in the bay window and asks if she wants to talk. Antonia says no, what am I going to do. Jodi says give him a second chance. Antonia says to do what? Jodi says to give a little more love and less judgment that it won’t kill her. Jodi asks her what she is so afraid of. In confessional Jodi says that Antonia has closed her heart off for so long and doesn’t understand or recognize why it would be good for her to open the door for her father.
Niambi breaks down after hitting the punching bag that represents herself. Iyanla asks Niambi to see “her” pain (pointing to the pictures of Niambi). Niambi says she doesn’t deserve to be in pain. Iyanla asks Niambi to let herself know that she has been beaten enough and to let herself know that she is sorry and she didn’t know how to be there for herself. Iyanla asks her to make a new choice to love herself. In confessional, Iyanla says that now that Niambi has gotten her anger out she wants her to do something different. To make a choice about how she is going to treat herself on the inside and the outside. Iyanla gives Niambi the pictures that were taped to the punching bag she has her find all the house mates she can find and show them the picture and tell them that she is going to take a stand for herself and is not going to beat herself up anymore. She wants her to do it loudly so everyone can hear. A tearful Niambi goes upstairs and tells Jodi while showing her the pictures of herself that she isn’t going to beat herself up anymore. In confessional Jodi says that it is touching for her to see Niambi so full of emotion and so full of connection to what she is doing. Jodi says she is proud of her and touched. She then shows Antonia. Niambi thanks them for being there for her. She wipes her tears takes a deep breath and walks down the stairs.
In confessional Christie says she is excited to go to Passion Marketing to get more experience and marketing knowledge. She says her concerns are donors and participants. Gary, the Nonprofit Marketing Expert, brainstorms with Christie. He gives her a list of questions and places to look for participants. He tells her it’s not going to be easy. He thinks she is the kind of person that can do this. Christie says he has wonderful tips and that he thinks big. Christie can’t imagine how it can get as big as he envisions.
Niambi goes back to Iyanla. Iyanla asks her how she did. Niambi said that she got everyone that was in the house. While holding a picture of herself Iyanla asks Niambi what her trauma is? Niambi says that she was criticized a lot. Iyanla asks if she could talk to the people who criticized her what would she say? Niambi cries and says that she is doing the best she can, and she is enough. Iyanla says that what she hears is “shut up and leave me the He** alone”. She then has Niambi say it and tells her it doesn’t have to look pretty! To let it out! Niambi lets it rip! Oooh wee!! You go girl! Iyanla has her sit and take a breath when she’s let it all out and asks her to forgive herself for believing she couldn’t do it. Niambi says she forgives herself for doubting herself and for keeping a lie going. Iyanla hugs her and tells her she did good, moving through the fear, pain and doubt. In confessional Iyanla says that now that she has released the words and the feelings she has held onto since she was a little girl it is time for Niambi to do some forgiveness work over the next few days. Iyanla says she is going to listen carefully to see if Niambi honors her commitment not to abuse herself. Iyanla hugs Niambi while she sobs.
Christie is calling various organization to ask them to donate money for her run. No one is there so she leaves a message. She says in confessional that she is becoming increasingly concerned because she doesn’t have much time.
Antonia and Iyanla meet. Iyanla has Antonia lay her head on her lap. In confessional, Iyanla says that Antonia has been quiet today and she is sensing that she has something important to get off her chest. She meets with her for a little chat and to get to the bottom of what is going on. Antonia shares with Iyanla that after talking to her she has realized that she can’t judge her father that he is the man that he is but she says that she is not ready to see or talk to her father. Antonia feels it’s a big step for her to say that she forgives him and she is ok with her father not being there to care for her and be a father to her.
Niambi is hanging pictures of herself (younger and present) in her room. In confessional, Niambi says that she is sad for the little girl because she jumped on the band wagon of criticizing her also and did not have compassion for the adult Niambi.
Cassie is working on a puzzle and talking to Antonia and says that maybe her son is avoiding her because he doesn’t want to come. In confessional she says that she is getting panicky because maybe he has changed his mind and that maybe it’s not going to work out the way she had hoped. In confessional Antonia says that Cassie reminded her of how her father wasn’t there for her and that now Cassie has changed and has become a woman that she respects. She says that Cassie has been a factor in her healing process when it comes to her father.
A henna tattoo artist comes to the house for the housemates. In confessional, Iyanla says that Elizabeth the tattoo artist is going to help them create symbols of courage, strength and power and she will paint them on their bodies so that when they have a moment of doubt, fear or confusion they can look at the symbol and realize they are exactly what they need.
Cassie is calling her son. He says that he was trying to find her number because he was going to call her but then someone else called. Cassie says she is calling because she wants to know if he has thought about coming. He says he doesn’t want to be on television. He then says he was talking with his mom and that she is freaking out. He says he doesn’t want to ruin his life. Cassie says she understands. In confessional, Dustin says he doesn’t think his adoptive mom will be ok with Cassie until down the road when she understand. He says he would like to have her in his life and will have her in life. Cassie says in confessional that the most important thing is not about her it’s about how he is feeling, what he is and isn’t ready for. She says she will support him in whatever he decides.
Tomorrow on SO Antonia gets a wake up call. Sommer steps outside her comfort zone. An unexpected announcement puts everyone on edge- dum de dum…board of review.
|
Home 
