Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Yes Valtina....I understood the triggering comment as well. I just dont agree with speaking that way to a client...ever.

KNC wrote:

QUOTE:
Yes Valtina....I understood the triggering comment as well. I just dont agree with speaking that way to a client...ever.

I think there's a real disconnect here between Rhonda the LC and Rhonda the Sponsor. Two different things, yet...not. You can assume that because there are people who join a professional association and sell their services that this is the standard. But what Rhonda is doing for Christie is something outside that, and it's been around a whole lot longer. If a sponsor needs to kick your butt verbally, trigger you to the back of beyond, and stay on you till you beg for mercy, then that's what they do. Some are all touchy-feely, some are hard as nails, and the best of them go whichever way they need to in order to best be of service and literally save your life. It's not the same thing as guiding a whiny housewife who's decided life might be passing her by, or somebody who thinks the gates of heaven will open if they just drop 40 pounds by swimsuit season. If they have to pick up the phone at 3 AM, they do it, and they charge you not a thin dime.

Two VERY different jobs, with similar end goals st some points, but totally different risks. From what I've seen, Rhonda's doing a great job with Christie, and Christie's doing a good job taking direction. Rhonda's not there to make nice. If she spent her time marshalling her facial expressions and keeping it all pretty and "professional" for the cameras, I'd lose all respect for her. As it is, if Christie were my daughter, I'd just be thrilled to pieces to know Rhonda was working with her.

Whatever hat Rhonda was wearing during that exchange with Christie, whether as Life Coach or as Sponsor, I believe the comment was directly in the context of telling Christie she was about to be "triggered" in the House before she went home, so her fears of resorting back to men (alcohol, drugs, whatever) could be tested. Not only is that something Christie needs in order to get ready to leave, but Rhonda actually warned her up front - so Christie can be aware and vigilant about taking care of herself - just as she should be in the "real world." I thought it was the right thing to say and thr right way to say it, and it looked like Christie got it.

Serena...I would agree with you except.....this a reality show that I understood was to perhaps give the viewer (mostly but not limited to women) a clear idea of starting over....and perhaps the Life coaching process.

A "life coach" would not speak that way....but a "sponsor" would , could and should.

I know that sometimes things get a little too picky, but I am watching for different reasons than any other poster and vice versa. The idea that she should not speak like that comes from my own experience...and therefore is just an opinion that I happen to hold.

I look for two different things when I am in need of a sponsor or a therapist or a life coach. I love Rhonda, but sometimes she rubs me the wrong way. Its nice to have a place like this to express ideas and vent about it. *smile*...Happy Easter.

Serena...I would agree with you except.....this a reality show that I understood was to perhaps give the viewer (mostly but not limited to women) a clear idea of starting over....and perhaps the Life coaching process.

A "life coach" would not speak that way....but a "sponsor" would , could and should.

I know that sometimes things get a little too picky, but I am watching for different reasons than any other poster and vice versa. The idea that she should not speak like that comes from my own experience...and therefore is just an opinion that I happen to hold.

I look for two different things when I am in need of a sponsor or a therapist or a life coach. I love Rhonda, but sometimes she rubs me the wrong way. Its nice to have a place like this to express ideas and vent about it. *smile*...Happy Easter.

KNC, I agree with you regarding the contrast between "Life Coaching" and "AA/Sponsor relationships. As I understand it, (which I fully admit to understanding Coaching much better) AA is annonymous, it is far more, tough love. AA is also annonymous. Different situations with different modalities.

I also agree that "sarcasm" and "threats" are never effective for long term change.