Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Well, I guess it wouldn't be the biggest shocker if Jodi left, given that she has said she wanted to leave a number of times and seems to get that way whenever things get tough or when she isn't "makuing the grade" with her LC. But I actually feel the process is good for her and that, in baby steps, she is responding to it as best she can with the defenses she walked in the door with. I didn't think the C was helping Jodi, as Iyanla said - not just because Jodi did make progress with her father (or her mental block about him) and I felt she deserved some strokes for that, but also, because when you know someone is oriented the way Jodi is, you give them some reinforcement to motivate them even as you withhold some to give them something to work for. For someone like Jodi, there would have been a world of difference between a C: you ain't cuttin' it AT all, and a B-minus: You showed me enough to get by and that you can do it, but I'm not impressed yet so try something new.

There have been SO women in the past that I wished would take a hike. But Jodi isn't one of them. I genuinely hope it's not true. Unlike with some other SO women, I believe this is Jodi's best chance of moving forward, and to abandon it would mean she has chosen to stay stuck. She is so much smarter than that. But then, if we have learned anything from the SO House (and life?), it is that Smart Women can make Foolish Choices.

You know, as each one of the women gets closer to a breakthrough, we see them get itchy, angry, whiny, weepy, grumpy, sickly - the whole range of reactions they go through when defending themselves. And then they (usually) get it and straighten out.

Jodi just seems very discouraged. I think she even used that word at one point. She's got a lot of strengths, and by all accounts has come up a winner in some other areas of life. But...winners are winners in large part because they pick their fights. My concern is that if she doesn't really think she can come up big winner here, she'll walk and go find a fight she can win. I think it would probably be a mistake on her part, but this is all a process. She just might not be at a place where she's willing to surrender the devil she knows for the one she doesn't.

If anything, the fact that she does well at other things might just be her worst enemy. She's not up against a life-threatening addiction or illness. She's not deep into grief. She was a confused and injured child, but not an abused or neglected child. She's not mending from broken relationships, because she hasn't been in any in years. Yeah, ok - past eating disorder, but she's been skating on that for years now and getting by.

So I'm trying to figure out just what it is that she wants bad enough to go through what she's going through. SOH can dangle the carrot and swish that little grade stick around - but none of it has any real meaning unless Jodi's already working from a much deeper motivation. And I'm just not seeing it. More to the point, I don't think she's seeing it. She's a fighter and a manager. To "surrender and win" is totally beyond what she knows to do. Actually, the biggest motivation I see in her is her desire to get home and get back to business - an area where she definitely knows she can win. Anyway, something has to give here...

valtina wrote:

QUOTE:
Well, I guess it wouldn't be the biggest shocker if Jodi left, given that she has said she wanted to leave a number of times and seems to get that way whenever things get tough or when she isn't "makuing the grade" with her LC. But I actually feel the process is good for her and that, in baby steps, she is responding to it as best she can with the defenses she walked in the door with. I didn't think the C was helping Jodi, as Iyanla said - not just because Jodi did make progress with her father (or her mental block about him) and I felt she deserved some strokes for that, but also, because when you know someone is oriented the way Jodi is, you give them some reinforcement to motivate them even as you withhold some to give them something to work for. For someone like Jodi, there would have been a world of difference between a C: you ain't cuttin' it AT all, and a B-minus: You showed me enough to get by and that you can do it, but I'm not impressed yet so try something new.

There have been SO women in the past that I wished would take a hike. But Jodi isn't one of them. I genuinely hope it's not true. Unlike with some other SO women, I believe this is Jodi's best chance of moving forward, and to abandon it would mean she has chosen to stay stuck. She is so much smarter than that. But then, if we have learned anything from the SO House (and life?), it is that Smart Women can make Foolish Choices. ;)

SOOOO true. My only question to Mystic is, "Why wouldn't Jodi leaving without graduating show up on the spoiler releases? Why would they preview Bethany leaving and not Jodi. Your analysis makes sense. Just wondering. If she does leave, big drama??

To me it's REALLY big drama. Jodi is too smart for her own good. It reminds me of the kid who is a magnificent student in almost every area, to whom everything comes easily and then, the one tough subject (math anyone?) and the immediate reaction is, "I can't do it."

Jodi is not used to having to struggle for what she wants - she either achieves it because she can break it down intellectually and master it and control it - or she walks away from it because it's too hard or "not for her. " It's actually the key to any commitment - the willingness to struggle. I think knowing that about Jodi, the LCs and especially Dr. Stan, could teach her that there is actually accomplishment in the struggle itself, not merely in the results that may come easily to her.

Debby the only thing I can think of is the teaser they keep bringing up that something happens this season that has never happened on SO before and it will shock .. we've tried to guess what that could be not knowing if it's happened or not yet lol so just maybe?? I dunno my crystal ball is getting cloudy.. I'll get back with ya lol

Mystique wrote:

QUOTE:
Debby the only thing I can think of is the teaser they keep bringing up that something happens this season that has never happened on SO before and it will shock .. we've tried to guess what that could be not knowing if it's happened or not yet lol so just maybe?? I dunno my crystal ball is getting cloudy.. I'll get back with ya lol

The teaser is probably in reference to Sommer who was drummed out of the house returning. That has never happened in SO history that I know of. They keep highlighting on Deborah, Sommer and Tess...to keep the regular so fans guessing. (If only they knew how to get the spoilers and previews! )

There was a Dr. Stan interview in which he mentions something that he had never seen before in his practice. So I suppose it was in a clinical sense with regard to one of the women. My guess that it could have been Kim or Kelly...or perhaps an hg who is yet to come. I think the interview was in late December and the show wrapped up in January (around the 23rd)... So whatever it was he was referring to has probably already happened or is about to happen (as far as our eyes and ears are concerned.). But then again, when he went to that interview, he may not have known how or even if the issue would be edited into the show. I'd love to know what it was he was referring to... But it may be of a sensitive nature and might be counter productive to the hg involved and they elect not to exploit it as they usually seem to do.