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I was raised in an athiest family.
In fact, my mother made it really clear to me early on that if I was going to practice religion, I was not to discuss it with her.
Like most people, I spent the majority of life trying to please my parents. I went along with their atheist rants, even though I did feel them or relate to them. Athieism always seemed like anger towards God for not living up to human standards.
So, I played the atheist role. Secretly curious and calmed by spirituality of all practices. Around 17, I went to my Christian relatives and told them secretly of my interest and my fear of making my mother angry. So we sat up in the night, reading the bible and whispering to each other the meaning Christianity.
I still resisted giving my heart to God for years afterward - pretending that I, too, was angry.
It wasn't until this last year that I began admitting to the people in my life that I believe in God and am drawn towards the Christian faith.
I feel so new in this world, that I have not a clue as to how to go to church. Or which church to go to. All the different denominations speak to me in their own way and I am left confused as ever.
I read the Bible and realize it is interpreted differently and am not quite sure how to find out what would be a good way to go.
These questions might seem ridiculous, but please tell me: is it ok to just show up at church and try it out? Do you have to make a commitment to that church if you are going to attend service? I mean, if I went and decided this wasn't the church for me, would it be ok to not come back?
I feel awkward and clumsy - like I don't know the proper ethic on going to church. Thank you for any advice you have to give.
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