Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I was raised in an athiest family.
In fact, my mother made it really clear to me early on that if I was going to practice religion, I was not to discuss it with her.
Like most people, I spent the majority of life trying to please my parents. I went along with their atheist rants, even though I did feel them or relate to them. Athieism always seemed like anger towards God for not living up to human standards.
So, I played the atheist role. Secretly curious and calmed by spirituality of all practices. Around 17, I went to my Christian relatives and told them secretly of my interest and my fear of making my mother angry. So we sat up in the night, reading the bible and whispering to each other the meaning Christianity.
I still resisted giving my heart to God for years afterward - pretending that I, too, was angry.
It wasn't until this last year that I began admitting to the people in my life that I believe in God and am drawn towards the Christian faith.
I feel so new in this world, that I have not a clue as to how to go to church. Or which church to go to. All the different denominations speak to me in their own way and I am left confused as ever.
I read the Bible and realize it is interpreted differently and am not quite sure how to find out what would be a good way to go.
These questions might seem ridiculous, but please tell me: is it ok to just show up at church and try it out? Do you have to make a commitment to that church if you are going to attend service? I mean, if I went and decided this wasn't the church for me, would it be ok to not come back?
I feel awkward and clumsy - like I don't know the proper ethic on going to church. Thank you for any advice you have to give.

Church is a very individual thing.. so I will try to answer you with just my own opinion but you follow your heart

I can't speak for all religions but in my church and all the different churches I've attended (with friends etc) would not say a word about you coming for service. You don't have to join a church to attend a service. None of the ones I've ever attended even said a word or noticed me as an 'outsider'. Some have get togethers after where you can meet some of the people if you like. You can arrange to speak with the priest/minister of any given church and ask questions as well. If one does make you feel uncomfortable for any reason.. find another. Even if you selected to go to a particular 'faith' each congregation of people as well as the priest/minister are different. I'd suggest visiting different ones of interest and seeing what feels right to you. God doesn't care how you pray or where IMO he hears us all.

I visited one with a friend (I don't want to offend anyone so won't mention the faith) but it scared the bajeezus out of me lol I was raised Catholic, have family that are Baptist and friends of other denominations so I, myself have visited more than just 'my' church. I'm not one for the holy roller philosophy or banging on doors to push religion down someone's throat.. where others are all about 'saving' people. So I suggest going and following your heart as to what is right for you.

I hate to get into religious discussion because so many are so adament that their church is the only one lol but I see an organized religion as a foundation or bridge if you will to one's own spirituality. I found that I can take something from many religions and follow my heart as to what is right for me. I believe that there are good points and bad points to so many different ones but that the essence of them all are basically the same. How you worship or where is your decision and no one should make that decision for you.

I hope that helped.. good luck in finding a place you feel you really belong *hugs*

Praise the Lord for your decision of faith, honeyspur!

The Bible calls us to fellowship with other believers, and that means to be a member of a local church. I am still struggling myself with this issue. Check out churches!! Go visiting, sista! You will be enriched by the worship, even if you don't choose to stay as you check out your options.

Thank you both so much for the support. I am very sensitive about this issue, unsure and don't know how it will turn out, but as my uncle told me that night we talked in whispers, "Follow your heart."
I will go to church - one in my neighborhood actually, around the corner - and I feel better knowing I can just show up and it's not a big deal.
Thanks again ladies and God bless!

I understand very much where you are coming from, and you are going to be enriched by your spiritual seeking, I'm sure of it. Attend all the churches, you will know after awhile which one feels right, which one is speaking to you, which one feels like it will help you grow and learn, which one is made up of a community of believers that you would actually want to spend some time with.

Don't be afraid. If questioned, simply say "I'm in the process of finding a church home, I haven't decided yet which one is for me." Other people understand that answer perfectly. You don't have to give out your address......and you can always ask to speak to the pastor or priest in their office during the week, if you want to pursue knowing more about their church.

Also, attending an adult Sunday School and/or Bible Study at a church, as well as the service itself, will give you insight as to their beliefs and values. Many churches are too political for me, not at all what I was looking for back in the 1980's when I first started going to church. This played a big part in my decision to join a church that had more liberal global views. You yourself may be looking for something completely the opposite, and that's okay, too.

Also, I will give you a bit of advice that I heard on a Christian radio station once -- never attend a church where the pastor can't be fired. Everyone needs a supervisor, these people are only human. Make sure the Vestry or Elders or whatever they have making financial decisions for the church are not relatives and in-laws of the pastor, too. And use common sense -- if something doesn't seem right about what a Church is teaching, and if they don't welcome questions and debate -- then it's time to move elsewhere.

In Matthew 5, there is a verse that says, "Blessed are the hungry, for they shall be filled". Jesus said that to the people that are hungry for something beyond what they are taught. And praise God, you are hungry.

I would like to tell you that you CAN visit as many churches as you can to find the right congregation for you. We as believers are called the church and in God's eyes, there are no denominations. My suggestion to you is that each one you visit, you will have a feeling of welcome, indifferance, acceptance, or whatever. I have to say that when I started going to the fellowship that I am attending right now and have been attending for the last couple of years, I felt an overwhelming sense of love for one another. Others that have visited or started attending have felt the same thing. One lady recently said, "The love here is so real that it almost drips off my hands." (And she was just visiting.) Talk to God about where He wants you to be because He has a perfect fit for you in the body of Christ. You will just know it when you find it. But don't feel that you are obligated to join just because you visit. You are on the right track.

God bless you richly