Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

My opinion is that taking the time to put to words your thought and apology in a written note or card is a great way to put the ball back in their court. It is up to them to accept your apology.

Be honest about your revelation and why you want to apologize. This sounded like it was a romantic relationship. (Maybe I misunderstood..) If so, it will allow some closure for both of you especially if he/they are in a place where they've moved on. Sometimes just acknowledging ones feelings (through the apology) can go along way toward heeling a rift. But than again, if a person is always apologizing and repeating mistakes..(like Lisa N.) then the apology may not come across very sincerely.

I am sure you want to at the very least, heal possible wounds, and I hope also that you can recover your friendship or relationship whatever the case may be.

If the apology isn't accepted then you've done what you could. Maybe the other person just needs more time. But at least they'll know your heart.

In your note, card, email.... (whatever!)... Offer to be available to talk it over more in person if they want. This way you are opening the door.

I'd prefer a note than a faceoff type conversation. That way both people have time to collect their thoughts and digest what they want to say and what they've heard. I have a tendency to get off track when talking to someone..or put my foot in my mouth! So that is one thing for you to consider...

You could always drop by a week or so later with a small 'peace offering' too. That way both have had time..the information is there... and either they'll chuckle at the peace offering or throw you out! Then you'll have got your answer!

A peace offering could be flowers, potted plant... or any little thing that shows you really do care about the friendship and their feelings. Even if it's something in the past.

The friendship may not be what it used to be...but if at least you mend fences...then it can only make you both better for future friendships and relationships. You'll have learned from it...and the other person should feel better having had their feelings validated.