Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

dbmcmommy wrote:

QUOTE:
Chill out, butterfly34. It states:

Some very private issues have been brought out in a casual way eg. Lisa's sexual abuse, and then they proceed to have topics that night of sex and sexual experiences, how ignorant.

It does not state that Iyanla said it. It says that some issues have been brought out in a casual way.

"Iyalnla must go! The show must change!"

Thread Header

"Rhonda did this, and how ignorant, and bleh!"

Thread topic....

....the actual one.

QUOTE:
If you all don't calm down this one will have to locked. I thought I would let you know because Randi44 does seem to be attacked.

Attacked or being requested to make sense? I dont think its inappropriate to point out when someone makes a thread like "Apples are delicious - the All American Fruit!" and then you open the thread only to find an article about Beef Stew. What?

IMNSHO - You make a thread stating your opinions for the public to read...you're essentially demanding feedback for it. Closing the thread over such reaction (the goes without saying reaction) is pretty rediculous and scoldy, plus it limits expression, understanding, empathy, acceptance and closure. People have issues with eachother often. People say stuff that doesn't make sense and you get called out for it. Thats life. And sorting it out through communication is part of the process.

Forgive my intrusion, but I would like to say that I am someone who understands that my response to this silly thing gives right to others to assess their own feelings on the matter and express them however they see fit since I (or others) did lay our cards on the table. We're grown ups here, I know I am, and I can handle the shit flown my way in response to whatever I decide to post that the entire nation has access to see. Thats the risk with forums and expression of opinions. Threats of time outs, or lock downs of discussions, is military and ineffective of a pleasant atmosphere with people who would like to connect with one another.

And what does Miss Rhonda say is the way Human beings connect?

Through our faults. Through vulnerability.


Threatening closure of topic before both parties of possibly heated topic has fully expressed themselves puts immediate hault on growth, understanding, acceptance of feedback, and acceptance of eachother.

The threat also says:

"I dont trust you women to handle eachother appropriately when faced with confrontation."


And if they dont handle eachother appropriately, then what? The forum self-destructs?

I dont like being policed, and I dont like witnessing others being policed even more...epsecially on a forum that is dedicated to a show that is dedicated to empowerment of women.


Maybe thats just me.

Thank you, Angie! Well said.

Angie wrote

QUOTE:
Eileen wrote:

I can't stand Dr. Phil either, so you're not alone.


Blasphemy!!!

Oops...sorry Angie. Didn't mean to step on toes. I try to like him, I really do, but....

I just wanted to add my humble 2 cents here that the opinions and the feelings are all great and welcome, just sometimes maybe the words are said in haste and possibly at a second look they seem harsher than they were meant to be. I know for my own self, I like to hear everyone's opinion, whether you agree with me or not, and hopefully when I talk it is said respectfully so no one feels like they are less than anyone else, or that their opinion is being looked down on. You guys are all good people.

Thank you Angie. It is indeed unfortunate that we have to be reminded that we are adults who do not need scolding. The approach is quite insulting actually. Especially since being respectful to each other is what is so stressed around here. The "I don't like what you are saying, so I'm shutting you up. BAM! Thread locked". Is that respectful?

Well....in response to your comments Angie, first of all you have way too much time on your hands and analyze everything to death....second of all...of course we should expect feedback, but if we are all adults, why can't we do it in a respectful, non confrontational way? I wasn't really asking for an assessment of my opinion, but others opinions on the issue. You can express your opinion on the subject without criticizing someone's personal opinion. It was quite rude of you to state that I didn't make sense....I made perfect sense, and was talking in generalities as well....perhaps you are too busy looking for things to pick on rather than reading the messages. You and butterfly should get together!! Quite a negative pair!! And the mod was trying to get this point across. Express your opinions all you want, but don't pick on other's opinions.....it becomes annoying to read constant bickering and negative comments. I personally look at the forums as a place where we all enjoy the show ( and the concept) and we can all gab about what is going on. Instead I post one message and now I am wasting my time defending myself!!!

butterfly34 wrote:

QUOTE:

Rhonda was the one talking about sex not Iyanla. Get your facts straight before you go on a rant. Just a thought.

^@$^$%^@$%@$^& omg. Calm your self women.