Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I was a huge fan of Iyanla, but after seeing her on the starting over house, I can't stand the way she treats people. The show, especially Iyanla, seems to be taking a turn for the worst, and it seems like the life coaches want to humiliate and embarass the houseguests. Some very private issues have been brought out in a casual way eg. Lisa's sexual abuse, and then they proceed to have topics that night of sex and sexual experiences, how ignorant. These are life coaches, not therapists, and the last thing I would want to do is talk about my first sexual experiences, and sexual pleasure on the same day I am dealing with my abuse for the first time! Rhonda is a lot more sensitive and safe for the clients, but the show had better become more positive or I am out of there!!

Are you sure you were a HUGE fan of Iyanla, like you stated? I don't remember Iyanla talking about sex with the housemates. Rhonda was the one talking about orgasms and kisses. Why blame Iyanla?
As for Lisa and her sexual abuse, I still have a hard time believing it.

I think Iyanla is a very powerful presence in the house. Rhonda and Iyanla have very different methods of Life coaching. Which is really good.But everyone has their own opinions on what the think is effective. Like I don't care for Dr.Phil and loads of people think he does great work. Maybe he does, but I don't see it on his show. Besides, I wouldn't buy a diet book from a fat guy. Well he's not fat, but you know what I mean!!! I'll shut up before his fans booooo me out! I just pulled a TJ. ooops.

I can't stand Dr. Phil either, so you're not alone.

Ilanya does say and do things that may appear rude, but I believe it is to draw out emotion and leave an impression on the women that is not so easily forgotten. If she were to just chat with them in a friendly manner and praise them to the sky and tell them everything's okay, I don't think they would learn as quickly or as deeply, if at all. Last season in group, Ilanya called Sommer "fatty." She did this not to insult her or hurt her, but the lesson at the time (in group) was self-talk and the things each woman said in their heads to themselves every day that was so destructive. I think she needs to make the houseguests feel the pain and the humiliation so they can get angry and make a change. It's hard to watch, I'm very sympathetic, but I can see down the path where she is leading them.

I am upset with Iyanla due to her harsh treatment of people, but the sexual discussion was brought on by Rhonda...I'm wondering how much of these things are the show's doing or the life coaches. In any event...it was inapropriate...and if Rhonda's idea...shame on her!!! That is my point about the whole show...it's becoming very uncomfortable. The first couple of seasons were wonderful, and I was greatful to have a show on to watch that also had lessons you could take away and apply to your own life. This season seems to be more about keeping up the conflict, and the life coaches being a minor part of the show...guess they are all to busy promoting the hell out of themselves ie. books...seminars etc. What do you all think?

While I agree that the show has definately taken a turn in another direction, its not all Iyanla's fault. Like Mercredi said, Rhonda was the one that brought up the whole sex issue for the whole segment...seems like. Also, the whole privacy issue, I think she is being private. I, as a viewer, wanted to know what Christina wanted to keep secret in her letter, but her and Iyanla is/has handled that issue in private.

You are entitled to your opinion on what you think is best, but I would rather have Iyanla as my coach if I was at the SO house. I just benefit better with someone telling me the truth as it is and sometimes I'll prefer Rhonda's approach.

If I had my way, there would be a lot more interaction between the coaches and the ladies(just as you said). The thing about that is, I'll just have to accept it for what it is because the show will still go on if I don't watch it.