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Today’s show was a doozy.
We begin with Jessica coming into the living room with Mr. Ozzie in her arms. Rhonda tells Jessica that today Mr. Ozzie will be leaving the house. Jessica seems sad about that.
Rhonda meets with Lisa and her parents. Lisa says she feels irritated with her mom and has underlying anger because she feels like a well-tuned car that’s missing the road map. Dad says she went to the university and it was like a breeze to her and then she said she wasn’t going to do anything else and he was frustrated about that. Mom said her mother left her money and Lisa said give it to me, I want to travel around the world. She was 30 years old when Mom found the condo for her which she thought was the nicest thing she could do for her daughter, but has been the worst thing because Lisa said she didn’t feel it was hers and she wasn’t going to clean it. Rhonda asks them why they keep giving her money then if she’s not grateful. Dad says he thinks it is more him than Valorie (Mom). Rhonda asks him if Lisa is Daddy’s girl and he says he thinks so. Rhonda asks what they think about seeing her at 40 years old taking money from them and not being ambitious. Mom crosses her arms and says it makes her very angry. She says to Lisa that she is like a dog…they feed her, she takes money, and what is the matter with her? How is she ever going to meet a man? Rhonda asks Dad if he secretly enjoys Lisa not working and if that contributes to the problem, to which he says yes. Lisa says when they give her money and offer to pay her bills, part of her likes that, but it undermines her confidence and asks if they can start right now to change. Mom thinks that is wonderful. Rhonda says the next 6 months they must be diligent until new patterns are in place. She assures Dad he is not losing a daughter.
Mom in confessional: “I’m glad Lisa is at the Starting Over house because we’re at such a point in our life we just couldn’t go on like that. Rhonda gave us some structure for the first time. It’s the most wonderful thing that has ever happened.”
Group session begins with Rhonda bringing in a nest with eggs. She wants to know what it will take for each of the houseguests to leave the nest. Alison looks thoughtful and sad. Rhonda says the eggs represent unfulfilled dreams and asks who really wants to leave the nest. Alison says she does. Rhonda is surprised and asks if she is willing to not be the mediator in the house. She says she wants to. Rhonda says wanting and willing are two different things. Jill talks about taking off the mask, how she feels great, more alive than in a long time. Rhonda gives her an egg, then all the houseguests reach in and take one. Rhonda asks Alison if she is sick of listening to her own smiling voice all the time.
Rhonda: “I’m pushing Alison as hard as I can so I can break her shell of politeness so she can finally feel her feelings.”
Rhonda tells Alison she’s ready to start over but her housemates, Ilanya and Dr. Stan have more faith in her than she does. Rhonda tells the women to put the eggs back if they are not ready to live in the unknown and break the confinement.
Rhonda: “Everyone has claimed an egg. Well tonight I want to the women of the Starting Over house to break that egg and set their dreams free. The question is, will the women be ready?”
Rhonda tells the women to write on the eggs, color them, decorate them, filled with what they see as their future. Jessica is called to the love seat and receives two steps: Grieve Loss of Mother and Move Beyond 9/11. Jessica acknowledges she can now talk about her mother coming from a place of love, not pain. Rhonda picks up Mr. Ozzie and leaves.
Mr. Ozzie in confessional: “Although my time here was brief, I think I learned a lot. I am very happy to be starting over.”
Alison calls Ilanya, leaves her a message (crying) that she’s having a hard time, doesn’t know why, doesn’t see what she should see, feels like she should be gone from the house by now.
Lisa and her parents are lying in bed together, Mom in the middle. Lisa tells them she is taking them to the restaurant for dinner tonight where she was a short order cook and waitress. Mom asks if she thinks they’ll remember her. Lisa says the point is this is what I can afford.
TJ asks Alison what she can do for her today. Alison says she can do her part of cleaning the kitchen. TJ says no, she won’t do that because Alison wants it so bad. Alison in confessional says the kitchen is an absolute mess and she thinks the other 5 women could do something to pick it up. TJ wants to know why it bothers her so much and good-naturedly teases her about it.
Ilanya arrives to see Alison, who talks about leaving the nest and not seeing what others see, thinks they’re tired of babysitting her. Ilanya tells her she cannot move until she is ready, that she is exactly where she needs to be. Alison doesn’t feel it. Ilanya then says maybe it’s not time for you to get it now, maybe you don’t need to be here now, and when it’s time for you to move forward in your life, come back. Alison is crying and now looks shocked. She says she is not ready to leave yet. Ilanya says “yeah” and to tell her what she thinks they need to be working on right now. She asks if it could possibly be that she lost 5/8 of her body? Says she will not find it in a man, or clothes, or in makeup. She thinks Alison should walk around in a mumu for a week with no makeup and a kerchief on her head. Then she can look like she really feels and eventually what will happen is she’ll see that and the tragedy of it will sink in. She wants her to honor where she is. Alison thanks her.
Jill and Jessica are looking at the dirty kitchen. Jessica asks Jill if it bothers her. Jill says it does, but why hasn’t anybody done it? Jessica says TJ won’t let me. She says we can’t because of Allie.
Jill and Ilanya meet about Jill’s Plan of Action. Jill says she decided to have the surgery in California and once she did that everything else started to fall into place. She needs to push up the surgery as soon as possible. Ilanya gives her a big calendar and Jill circles the 9th – 11th as her intended surgery time. She is trying to find out if she’s eligible for the SSI benefit program for the elderly and disabled. They will pay for the majority of the medical costs. She also wants her Mom to come in sometime before the surgery so they can have their conversation with Ilanya. Ilanya says she thinks Jill has grown up overnight.
Ilanya: “I am so proud of Miss Jill for doing this research and for taking the necessary steps to address the medical challenge of having a tumor. She’s given me nine pages here and I think she deserves some recognition. I think she should take nine articles of clothing off Miss Mabel, her authentic self.”
Jessica and Christine congratulate Jill, who is ecstatic to take 9 more pieces off the mannequin.
Jill says to TJ that she has been one of the only ones to really give Alison what she really needs and that everyone else thinks she’s fragile. TJ says it’s part of Alison’s game, she wants everyone to pick her up and say poor me, poor baby. TJ talks about how she asked Alison how she could support her today and Alison said she could clean the kitchen for her. TJ said well, won’t be doing that today, then asks Jill to support her in that decision so she can see how agitated Alison could possibly get.
Ilanya and Christina talk about the attorney and the pictures on the internet and how to get rid of them. Ilanya wants to look at her addictive behaviors, says she needs tools to put an end to them, says they are all hidden inside of Christina. She wants her to go to the rock garden. Christina pulls out slips of paper from under the rocks: Forgiveness (doesn’t forgive herself), Trust (doesn’t need to trust anybody but herself), Commitment. Christina says this is a scary word for her because in the past she would start things and not finish. Ilanya says that is unacceptable and who are you committed to being? Christina cries, says she wants her baby to be proud of her and look up to her. Ilanya says to be proud of herself. Christina believes she has a clear vision of what she wants for her future.
Jill calls her Mom and tells her she is having surgery in California and can she come for the surgery and stay with her for those two weeks? Mom said she didn’t have time, didn’t have any time, and she doesn’t get paid. Jill is shocked and hurt that she is talking about money instead of helping her. They end the conversation with I Love You’s but Jill looks stunned.
Lisa takes her parents to The Stand and orders hamburgers. Mom says it’s delicious. Dad asks Lisa if she needs some cash, to which Lisa looks shocked and tells Dad he is not allowed to say that! Mom in confessional says that it was really nice and different for them, although a little hard because they are used to always paying.
Alison confronts TJ. She asks when the kitchen is going to get cleaned. TJ says it may not and asks what her point is. Alison says that she’s appalled, they have guests and it looks like it does. TJ says right, well, realize this…our guests, their daughter, and them made the mess, they’re the ones that didn’t do the dishes. Alison says she will not be helping with the groceries because she won’t be going in the kitchen because it’s a mess and embarrasses her. TJ says there are a lot more gross things in the world. Alison in confessional says that TJ is controlling the situation where TJ believes that she needs to teach her a lesson. She doesn’t know what kind of sick game this is that she cannot clean the kitchen, she gets her point, but…she is not her life coach.
Alison talks to Lisa about the kitchen, apologizes for the mess and Lisa says not to worry, her parents don’t care.
Lisa and her Mom play basketball outside for a bit. Lisa says she can appreciate the playful side of her mother. They walk off arm in arm, Mom says that they never did that together before.
Alison shows Ilanya the kitchen. Ilanya says before we deal with this, she should put on the clothes she brought her (a mumu, kerchief, slippers), to wash her face and then come out. Alison comes out looking like a washerwoman. Ilanya is excited that Alison wants to kick TJ’s butt because she is trying to be her life coach. Alison doesn’t like the flies in the dirty kitchen. Ilanya says it is not your problem, but she should tell them how she feels. They go and talk to the housemates. Alison tells them it is disgusting and she wants it cleaned NOW! She leaves and TJ tries to high-five with Jessica because she is ecstatic that Alison finally got confrontational. Jessica refuses to do it. She tells TJ she is really confused as to why she felt she had to create an exercise for Allie. TJ said she did not create an exercise for Allie, she is Allie’s accountability partner. Jessica says she doesn’t understand why it was fine with TJ to let this go on all day and to have Alison be pissed all day, that everyone was uncomfortable. TJ asks if she is speaking for everyone. She says she is excited that Alison is having a big moment, she is excited she’s growing and changing and she is sorry if that pisses her off.
Meanwhile, Ilanya tells Alison that the issue here is not whether or not they clean the kitchen, the issue is that you asked for what you wanted. She wants her to do the opposite of what she would normally do. If she would normally stuff it, blow it out. If she normally wouldn’t say anything, say it. If she would normally be nice, don’t be nice. Let’s go there! Allison goes out into the hallway and overhears what is still going on in the kitchen.
TJ asks Jessica why this is such an issue. Jessica said she got upset that TJ got excited. TJ said she was excited because Alison was pushed out of her comfort zone, that she didn’t want to be here for 8 months, and she didn’t want Allie to die. She doesn’t want he to go through the pain she goes through all the time. Jessica says that none of them want that. TJ says, if it takes some dirty dishes in the sink to push her to the point where she’s pissed, I’ll do whatever it takes.
Allison says outside the kitchen to Ilanya that it’s conflict and she didn’t like it. Ilanya tells her to go and deal with it. Alison hesitates, but Ilanya pushes again that she needs to deal with it. Alison goes into the kitchen and tells TJ that she is really jabbing at us today and she needs to give both her and Jessica some space, that her attitude is really upsetting her. Ilanya makes Alison go back and tell TJ that she was trying to coach her today and she didn’t like it. TJ says that she understands, loud and clear. She begins to tell Alison that she gets confused but Ilanya whisks Alison away and tells her she must hit it and move on. Lisa in confessional says she is loving the new Alison who has found her voice and says how she really feels.
TJ feels sad because now it feels like there is division in the house.
Alison and the rest of the women (except TJ) are at the table. Alison reads a note from Rhonda that tells them they should break open the eggs while explaining the ways they are willing to break out of the nest. The women are laughing and having a good time, and they each break open an egg that they’ve decorated and tell the others what it means.
While this is going on, TJ phones Rhonda in tears and is extremely upset. She wants to know if it’s okay if she doesn’t crack her egg. She feels she is the bad guy and doesn’t want to do an exercise that is so significant from such a bad place. She got accused of coaching and said she doesn’t get it, she wants to do everything she can do. Rhonda tells her she is doing black and white thinking again. She tries too hard and that can feel overwhelming for everyone else. She needs to give space to herself and others.
Rhone in confessional: “Tonight’s incident is yet another example of how TJ’s good intentions get lost in her need to be the center of attention. In reality, she was just trying to help Alison by giving her the push she needed. But right now it appears it’s all about TJ and TJ ends up feeling lost, alone, and disconnected from the people she wants to be connected to.
Jessica and Christina talk about their frustrations with TJ. Jessica says she is afraid to go to their room and doesn’t know what to say to her. TJ sees them sitting alone and feels that Jessica, Christina and Alison have formed a little clique, not a place she wants to be in, and doesn’t know what to do about it.
Next on Starting Over: Tension in the house explodes. TJ is seen telling Alison that she is making a comment that is just rude, and she was “busting her ass all day.” Alison says she just wants to smack her in the face. Ilanya is telling Jill in group, in a fierce manner, that she better not ever con her into believing that that other person is who you are. Alison tries to find a love match. She’s in a place with two guys and one says that she can choose them or go right to someone else. Alison says her stomach is in knots and she’s petrified.
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