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The morning begins with Lisa at the computer, reviewing her business plan. On voice over, she reveals that she has finished the business plan and is feeling a bit anxious at the chance there would be something she had overlooked. Lisa was struggling to do the finishing touches like spell check and spacing issues so she summons support from Christina. Christina reviews the document and says it looks good.
Dr. David Crausman comes to the house to meet with Christina. It is revealed that he is an addiction specialist. In voice over, Christina reveals that all of this addiction work is a pain in the butt. They begin their discussion in the courtyard. Dr. Crausman asks Christina what stripping is and why she could control men. Christina replies that an escort is what she had to do. Dr. Crausman presses her a bit and Christina struggles to answer. He then goes into how she chip hustled. Christina tells him that she would approach the men at a different table game with the story she'd lost all her chips and the men would give her chips to play with them. During this revelation, Christina is laughing. She finally says, they (the men) were suckers. Dr. Crausman agrees. In confessional he states that Christina uses manipulation, manifesting itself in giggling and avoiding questions. Dr. Crausman then approaches Christina on the subject of her relationship with Paul. He tells her that she must acknowledge that she did meet Paul at a strip club. In a voice over the doctor reveals that Christina's manipulations are ingrained and had become a survival technique.
Jill is on the phone, contacting her doctor to follow up. She asks the doctor when she needs to have the surgery. He reiterates that she must do it within a month. The tumor is growing rapidly and because of the seriousness of the complications (bleeding, bladder issues) Jill should take care of this quickly. In a voice over Jill says that it would take more than a month to get the needed insurance to take care of the surgery. She seems overwhelmed.
Back with Christina and Dr. Causman. The doctor tells Christina that stripping isn't about what's good, bad, right, or wrong, it's to recognize and be honest that some people view strippers as lesser beings. He challenges her to be open to the possibility that this is how Paul may view her. In the confessional Christina says she just wishes they would let it alone.
Allison, Jessica, and Christina are in the kitchen. Allison asks Christina how the meeting was. In confessional Christina says if she were being honest she would have questioned the doctor as to why Paul keeps being brought up. Back in the kitchen Christina tells the other women that if when she returns she doesn't feel comfortable with Paul, she won't leach onto him. She says that Paul saw her one-day as a stripper and the rest of the time as a mother.
The ladies prepare for group. Mr. Ozzy is included. Rhonda walks in and greets them all, as well as Mr. Ozzy. She reveals that this group session would be about "Follow Through." She offers that if a person doesn't make it to the finish line, how would one know his or her accomplishments. Rhonda begins questioning the women on what follow through means to them, beginning with Jill. Jill reveals that for her to be consistent in life would be finish line. She says that before if something happened that wasn't planned and not even related to what she was trying to accomplish, she would just give up and say there goes that. (EG Smoking and diet) Before coming to the Starting Over house, Jill reveals that her finish line is the grave. Now she sees she has to learn to save her life. Rhonda then turns the attention to Christina. Christina says as a high school drop out, she feels she wasn't as valuable as someone who had accomplished more. Rhonda says that Christina is building evidence as to why she has no right to have a finish line. She needs to focus on her right to have a finish line. Christina says in order to graduate from the Starting Over house she is fulfilling a completion and would be proud. Rhonda says that follow through is critical. Tonight the ladies will have a perfect opportunity to practice with follow through during the Board of Review. She then reminds them that the house is on a C. As group dismisses, Lisa reveals she just knows that she will be called up.
Lisa and Rhonda meet at the picnic table to review her business plan. Lisa says she woke up feeling alive, glad she met her deadline. Rhonda reads the business plan. She asks Lisa how realistic the plan was, and Lisa assures her it is absolutely realistic. In the confessional Rhonda wonders whether or not Lisa can put it into action. She then asks Lisa how comfortable she would be showing the business plan to others in her field. Lisa says she'd be really comfortable. Rhonda says Lisa has a meeting with Sarah Cron. She wants Lisa to show Sarah her plan.
Jessica and Allison are sitting outside talking. In the confessional Jessica reveals that the house had a wake up call with the C. Allison and Jessica begin talking about how the house is doing as whole. They agree that they are doing better at supporting each other, especially with Christina buying more grown up clothes. The camera cuts to Christina as she is exercising. She admits that she realizes she hasn't been authentic. The stuff that she says doesn't match what's going on in her head. Jessica tells her that makes it difficult to be her accountability partner. In the confessional Jessica says that the women all want to support Christina but she has so many defenses up, it's a struggle. Christina says that she is going to let it all out during her next meeting with Iyanla. Allison, also in confessional, says that Christina needs a wake up call. Perhaps the Board of Review will scare her.
Iyanla and Christina meet. Christina says she's not happy with the persona. She tells Iyanla, "hi, I'm Christina, I haven't been here yet." Christina says she doesn't know how to be authentic. Iyanla says that truth; power, beauty, and gifts are unable to come through when one isn't being authentic. Christina says she is scared to be truthful. In confessional Iyanla says it's amazing the clarity that comes at the Board of Review. She says she can see right through it. Back to real conversation, Iyanla tells Christina that she manipulates people by being sweet and innocent. Christina admits she is a manipulator and a liar. Iyanla tells her all the alter egos she discussed with Dr. Stan are a part of her. She instructs Christina to retrieve them.
Jill and Jessica are talking and Jill reveals she needs to have surgery within a month. She has to figure out her options. Jill feels like more and more and more things are piling up. In the confessional Jessica says that the last few days have been a roller coaster for Jill. They've been filled with joy and now this sickness. Jessica thinks Jill is scared.
Back to Iyanla and Christina. In the confessional, Iyanla talks about the three alter egos---chip hustler, escort, and stripper. She says that Christina must get to know them so she can get rid of them. They review the characteristics that Christina had written on the silhouettes with Dr. Stan. Christina questions how she can have all of those negative traits. Iyanla says they are behaviors, not traits. Behaviors can be changed. She says that Christina must transform the way the characters look so she can change them. Iyanla gives her paint, scissors, etc. She tells Christina to thank them and get through them. They begin to tear the people up. Iyanla stops and tells Christina that she is to take the pieces of the characters, torn up, and create something beautiful. Iyanla says that Christina has to work with what she has.
Jill is talking to her mother on the phone. Her mother says that Jill sounds down. Jill agrees. She proceeds to tell her mom that she needs to have her tumor removed within a month. Her mother questions why. Jill says that the tumor is growing rapidly. Her mother says that it's not fatal. Jill says it can be and there's no way to know when it could turn badly. Her mother encourages her to come home. Jill begins to cry and says she doesn't want to not complete something once again that she started.
Jill and Iyanla meet. Iyanla looks at Jill and asks what kind of face does she have on. In confessional Iyanla says that Jill is very troubled and today isn't a day to cry, it's a day to make choices and plan. Jill says (in real conversation) she feels she needs to keep moving. She's crying. Iyanla asks her what is the fear. Jill says she is afraid she will have to go home. Iyanla asks why she fears this. Jill says that if she goes home she will have no armor to deal with what at home. Iyanla asks her what is at home. Jill says her mother. Iyanla says, and? Jill says she doesn't feel strong enough to face her. Iyanla gets up and says it's time to move.
Lisa is driving to meet the business consultant. She's extra confident. She drives past where she was supposed to get off the interstate and precedes to get lost. When she reaches the store, Lisa apologizes for being late. In confessional she admits, she's a bit worried because she feels that she's on the hot seat and every move of hers is being watched. As Sarah reads over Lisa's business plan, she questions Lisa on her price point and what her jewelry is made of. Lisa struggles to answer these questions. In the confessional Sarah reveals that Lisa appears to be uneducated and Sarah fears that if this plan gets too hard, Lisa will back out.
Iyanla takes Jill to the balcony outside. Iyanla makes Jill put her hands out, toward the sky. She asks Jill what she needs. Iyanla says this is no time for crying; she must stand in her courage. Jill says she needs courage. Iyanla says speak it, stand in it. Jill repeats, "I need courage." She says she is choosing not to deal with her mother's life. She is choosing to take care of herself. She is asking for all of her needs to be met. Iyanla is encouraging and when she finishes, Iyanla says it is done. In confessional Iyanla says she thinks Jill gets it. If she speaks it, it will happen.
Christina is working. In the confessional she says that she's working, very anxious. She says that deserves a B+ because she knows she needs work. Iyanla asks Christina how she's doing and what her biggest challenge is. Christina says her biggest challenge is letting go and not worrying and knowing that regardless of what happens, her project is going to be beautiful. Iyanla says that to most people, Christina's work would be trash, that she'd be junk. People write her off due to her history. Christina reveals that she's written herself off. To end, Iyanla says, I know that in some ways you've conned me. "I know."
It's nighttime. Jill and Allison are getting ready. Voice over for Allison says that tonight is Board of Review, house is on probation. Jessica asks Christina if she's nervous. Christina says her guess is that Lisa would be called up. Jessica says they all might be called up. Lisa says that she will. In confessional she reveals that she is nervous and during this she just cuts down and forgets what to say.
BOARD OF REVIEW
Iyanla greets the women. Rhonda goes over the grading scale (A= good; B= work to be done; C= probation 2 C's in a row means dismissal; F= leave immediately) Iyanla reminds the women that the house had previously received a C. Rhonda says that as a house they seem to be doing better. She said that as they showed they were willing to lose Lisa's friendship in order to call her on her manipulation and behavior that took courage and willingness. There is a cut to when the women and Rhonda confronted Lisa about not finishing her assignment. Because of this, Rhonda and Iyanla give the house a B. In confessional she reveals that they have made great strides but still have a lot of work to do.
Rhonda then calls Jessica to the podium. In confessional, Lisa says that she feels a sigh of relief. Also in confessional, Jessica reveals she is both surprised and excited. Rhonda asks Jessica to state her goal. Jessica says to heal privately from a public tragedy. Iyanla asks her what she's doing well. Jessica says she is stopping denying her emotions that predated her mother's death. Rhonda asks her what she needs to work on. Because she uses her past behavior as a barrier, Jessica feels she makes her dad suffer. Rhonda questions that and Jessica says she knows she must take ownership for not feeling her father's love and attention. Iyanla asks if it working for her, and Jessica says no. Iyanla asks the women if Jessica should stay or go. All say she should stay. Iyanla tells Jessica to give herself permission to be happy without her mom. Rhonda gives Jessica an A.
Iyanla then calls Christina to the podium. Iyanla asks Christina her goal which is to become a woman of honor. Rhonda asks her what's she's done well. Christina is reading what's she has written down that she has learned much about herself and has began to make strides to change. Iyanla gets up and closes her book. Rhonda presses her for specifics. Christina says she realizes her manipulation, is working on being direct, speaking out, and being more present. Iyanla says she doesn't know why Christina is even at the Starting Over house. Iyanla asks Christina on the scale where she measures. Christina says a B. Iyanla asks her what she has to work on. Christina answers, holding herself accountable and being authentic. Rhonda chimes in that those are two areas and Iyanla asks her why she hasn't been working on them. Christina says that she didn't understand and thought her need to share was minimal. Iyanla begins she has to look and see the tragedy that scarred her soul. Iyanla muses that Christina may be scarred in a way that cannot be repaired. She tells Christina that she has trouble believing everything that comes out of Christina's mouth. Christina is not even aware of the manipulation. Iyanla says it's hard to get a stripper off the pole because a hardening of the heart and dissociation has to occur for a woman to be viewed only as a sexual entity. Iyanla slides a picture down to Christina who reveals that it is a picture of an escort. Iyanla asks where it comes from and Christina says an escort website. It is a picture of Christina that is on the web today...
LIFE COACH TIP OF THE WEEK BY Iyanla
A belief is a thought fueled by emotion. To change one's life one must check out the BS (belief system)
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