Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Tuesday November 1, 2005

It is 6 am and a cowboy is knocking on the door. TJ answers it and it is for Lisa. Lisa is to get ready and be at work at 7 am at Sunset Ranch to do a full days work. She is to wear jeans, comfortable work shoes and bring a sack lunch. Lisa thinks it is disgusting to pack a lunch and then tells Allison she doesn’t know how to pack a lunch. Allison gets up and makes Lisa’s lunch and Allison says she’ll probably get in trouble for it. Lisa doesn’t know if she has to be there at 7 or leave at 7. She walks out the door at 7:15 and then has a problem releasing the emergency brake on the vehicle the SOG’s use. She finally figures it out and shows up. They show horses and chickens on the ranch. Kaleo, a cute cowboy, tells her she is late and she is to first clean up the yard. Rhonda wants to know if Lisa can take on a task and complete it. She is to not charm her way out of it, laughing it off or cutting corners. Today is all about follow through.

TJ is telling the others about the cute cowboy at the door and Allison tells them Lisa is on a ranch working today. TJ says Lisa is gonna get her a$$ whooped.

Lisa is raking up and shoveling poop. Lisa is thinking about how her back hurts and how out of shape she is. Everything seems heavy. Lisa takes the wheel barrel and dumps the contents on a pile. Lisa in confessional says she doesn’t understand the point of it all quite yet but figures she is going to be taken off her high horse and get humble.

TJ thinks Lisa is in for quite a day. The SOG’s are sitting around drinking coffee.

We see Lisa giving a shot to a horse. The cowboy tells her to pinch the skin and push the needle in. She tries and the cowboy tells her to stop and hold on.

Jessica is in confessional and says that this morning Christina asked her if they could catch up and Jessica tells her that they can after she is done with her task. Christina then asked for one word as to how she is doing because she is afraid Iyanla will ask. Jessica doesn’t want to share because she doesn’t know if Christina has good intentions.

Iyanla comes in and talks to Christina. She receives a second package from a previous client when she was a stripper. Iyanla asks if she wants to keep it and she says no, throw it away. Iyanla asks do you want me to send it back and the answer is yes. Open it? Christina says no. Today Iyanla is going to continue their earlier discussion on the way Christina consciously and unconsciously manipulates and hustles. Iyanla has some poker chips that symbolize the ways in which she hustles and manipulated before. Today Christina is to turn that around and reverse it. She is to earn her chips by doing loving, wonderful and kind things for her housemates. For every one she does she gets to take out of her hustle bowl and put it into the giving bowl.

Lisa is taking a horseshoe off of a horse that is broken. She is trying to get the horses hoof up on her leg and falls down.

Christina is helping TJ put groceries away and is laughing saying that she doesn’t know where to put anything.

Iyanla is talking to Allison and asking what Allison has learned as a SO graduate. Allison learned she is loved and how to take care of her body. Allison learned to choose to live. Iyanla tells Allison she will need all of that today because Allison was picked to be the celebrated survivor by the Women of the Laugh for the cure organization in Charlotte and the ceremony is in Charlotte. Since Allison can’t be there she needs to write up and prepare an acceptance speech for the award but also for the bigness and the greatness that is required to move through the ugliness of cancer. Iyanla hopes Allison will write the ugliness and not be the nice little southern gal from South Carolina. Iyanla suspects Allison doesn’t tell the full story because it would be too much for her. Iyanla wants Allison to be authentic about how she suffered and came out better.

Lisa is struggling with the horseshoes and finally gets it off. Then we see her putting saddles and saddle blankets on horses. Next they go to clean the goat pen. The cowboy tells her that girls also work on the ranch and Lisa needs to think strong. Lisa is shoveling and pushing the wheelbarrow and then freaks out when her hand makes contact with manure!

Allison gets a glass of lemonade from Christina. Allison says in confessional that she doesn’t know what happened in the meeting between Christina and Iyanla but Christina is being very generous. We see Christina move chips to another jar. Then we see Christina help TJ and then she clears the bathroom. Christina is seen telling Jessica to let her know if she needs her to do anything. In confessional Christina states that she only has five more chips to move. Christina tells Jessica she learned a lot in her lesson so she isn’t worried about it. She states she did the assignment but maybe not the way Iyanla wanted her to do it. She tells Jessica that her assignment was to do good things for people and Jessica says she didn’t have Christina do anything for her because she didn’t trust her intentions all day because Christina said she needed to do it for an assignment. Not because it wasn’t because she wanted to help. Christina tells Jessica that she really did want to help ehr today and wasn’t only for the assignment.

Lisa’s next assignment is to catch a chicken. She runs around after him all over the place. Across the yard, under a truck, into the horse pen and then up a hill. The cowboy tells her never mind and says it was a nice effort.

Allison is typing on the computer and Christina asks if Allison would like her to help type for her because she can type very fast. (It sounded like she said 90 wpm but I had a hard time catching the number.) Allison is uncomfortable because she doesn’t want Christina to read it.

Rhonda shows up on the ranch and asks how Lisa did. Lisa was late so she missed feeding the horses but the first cowboy states she picked things up and did all right. Kaleo says she was charming. Lisa worked hard but she used her assets. We see a clip of her rubbing the first cowboy’s shoulders and telling him she’s been known as a manipulator and he laughs saying he doesn’t feel manipulated one bit. Lisa says they were respectful to her and she was reciprocating. Then we see a clip with Kaleo and Lisa is telling him if he got her on her hands and knees she’s sure they could find a way as he tells her to sop it. Lisa feels like she gets sexual when people are nice to her. The other cowboy says he would ask her back if she was on time. Lisa feels accomplished today and she likes that feeling. She feels she’s capable of more now. The cowboys give an example with the saddle and how she picked it up and said it was heavy and that she couldn’t do it but they pushed her and told ehr she could. Lisa thanks both cowboys for her day.

Christina is doing laundry. Jessica says in confessional she is having trouble trusting Christina’s intentions even before she started forcing herself on Jessica. Jessica feels it is more of a completing an assignment rather than really helping because she wants to help. Christina is nagging at Jessica that she wants to do her laundry because it’s part of her exercise but Jessica tells her that she wants to do it herself. Jessica tells Christina to unload the dishwasher.

Jessica tells TJ she doesn’t trust Christina’s intentions because three times today Christina asked Jessica if she could help her because she needed to help her and Jessica felt like she was getting hustled. Jessica tells TJ she needs to have that talk. Christina is sitting on a chair and looking dejected.

Allison is practicing her speech and reading it to the SOG’s. Jill states in confessional that it is weird to hear these words about cancer coming out in a bubbly and perky voice. Jessica in confessional says that the speech tells of her personal pain and struggling but she says it too much of a bubbly and happy way so Jessica wonders where the pains and fears are. TJ tells Allison she needs to be herself.

Kaleo from the ranch is at the door and asks for Lisa. She was taking a nap. He tells her that her work is not done and she is shocked that he followed ehr home. Lisa didn’t clean the horse blankets. She is to comb them, shake them and then beat them out with a tennis racket. Lisa is not thrilled but does it. Lisa says in confessional that she doesn’t see becoming a cowgirl when she leaves the SOH so she doesn’t see how beating the dust out of a rug will help her meet her goal.

Jessica is talking to TJ and says she doesn’t feel comfortable with Christina as her accountability partner. She tells TJ she will talk to Christina later and if it doesn’t do any good she will talk to Rhonda.

Iyanla is checking in with Christina and knows Christina is upset. Christina feels like she failed. She felt good about the first thing she did, which was getting Allison a drink. She helped TJ unload groceries and then helped TJ on the computer. Christina says she got negative feedback from Jessica and that med it hard. Christina felt that Jessica didn’t trust her and resisted. Iyanla feels that Christina isn’t telling ehr the whole story so Iyanla feels she needs to check in with Jessica. Iyanla asks Christina to get Jessica and Christina feels nervous. Iyanlas says she would like to support them in clearing the air. Christina says she felt like Jessica was resisting. Jessica tells Iyanla Christina wanted to do her laundry and Christina got frustrated and said she wanted to help and that is was for an assignment. Christina said she asked because she was doing laundry and that she really needed to do it. Jessica said she liked to do her own laundry. Iyanla states in confessional that Christina says Jessica wouldn’t help her and Jessica says Christina’s request made little sense and feels someone isn’t telling the truth. Iyanla dismisses Jessica. Iyanla states that omitting information intentionally is a lie. Iyanla tells Chrstina that she spun the story to sound like Jessica wouldn’t help. Iyanla states that Christina played Iyanla and hustled her.

Kaleo is back to check on Lisa and the blankets. Kaleo says the blankets look great adn that it is genuine hard work. Lisa is smiling. Rhonda states in confessional that Lisa needs to realize that the work doesn’t stop at five but sometimes merely begins after the job ends.

Allison is dressing the wounds on her chest. she says it is a daily reminder at how ugly cancer is. To be authentic she has to talk about the ugly, the pain, the wounds. Allison goes down and talks to Taylor, whom is recording the speech. Here is what they showed of the speech.
“Hello from Hollywood. i am honored and humbled to be the first recipient of this years celebrating survivors award. What cancer has taught me is that I can no longer hide form myself. That in order to help others I have to help myself and that by doing this I can love others as well as love myself. I have no more chances. Could something good actually come from all of this? I mean, look at all of you tonight. This is good. What we’re doing is good. Cancer is ugly but grace, grace is beautiful. I hope to help give Laugh for a Cure to grow to a national level because we all need to laugh when we heal. Enjoy the evening and I’ll be laughing with you from afar. Here’s to living.”
Allison looked beautiful and the camera lady said she did awesome. Allison goes back inside and tells them the last take went well. Jill states in confessional that Alison is still acting like that sweet southern girl. Alison is discussing the cancer from her head and not her heart.

Iyanla asks Christina if she does it consciously or if it just falls out of her mouth. Christina says she’s scared of the truth and that she doesn’t understand. Iyanla tells her that it isn’t true and that one of her manipulations is playing dumb. Christina was begging Jessica to let her do her laundry and she was clear that she needed to do something for her. Christina tells Iyanla that now she understands but thought she was doing it right at the time. Iyanla tells Christina she lied to get what she wanted. Iyanla tells Christina that this was one time Christina has hustled her majorly because she involved someone else. Iynala says she’s going to go put some safeguards in place and they go down to talk to the other SOG’s. Iyanla has Christina tell the SOG’s the truth about how she hustled Iyanla today. It is very difficult but necessary and Christina feels like running away. She apologizes to Jessica and Jessica explains to Christina why she said no earlier. Iyanla tells Jessica she needs to call Christina out if she is telling lies. Iyanla has everyone come upstairs. Setting boundaries, speaking up, speaking out, standing out, being direct, being a woman of honor, and telling the truth. If the ladies see Christina doing these things they are to give her a poker chip. If she is hustling and manipulating they are to take a chip back. Iyanla encourages everyone to give Christina a hug because this is very hard on her. Jessica tells ehr that this is the place she can be real with them and asks if Christina wants to go for a walk. Christina sits in their room with Jessica and talks to Jessica and tells her she’s afraid to look at her because she doesn't’ want Jessica to be mad at her. Jessica tells ehr she isn’t bad at her in the least little bit. She ants Christina to tell ehr what she’s feeling no matter what and that it will be hard. Christina doesn't’ feel she’s strong enough to do this work because she hasn’t accomplished anything. Jessica tells her that she is 20 and she has taken care of herself since she was 16,, she has a beautiful son she has been able to raise and take care of and protect. And Christina is here, in the SOH. Jessica asks Christina to come downstairs and have tea. Christina in confessional says that her roommates now have the chips and that she needs to earn them back by being direct and standing up for herself and setting new boundaries. Christina is still horrified and doesn’t know what else is in store for her. We then see her curled up on her bed in the fetal position sobbing.

On the next SO-
**Everyone wonders if they will be able to stay in the SOH.
**Christina gets a reality check.
** Jill may have broken her promise.

Thank you soooo much DB....the one episode I missed! I'd loved to have seen this one...figures it was the one I couldn't see. I'm glad you covered it with such detail that it felt as though I had actually seen it.