Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I agree with Tara. Christina is not blaming her lifestyle or the choices she made on her father directly. She is stating that her father did not show her the love and compassion that every child is due. However, she never said that it was her father's fault that she became a stripper/escort.

Think about it this way. Take Christina for example -- she grew up listening to how worthless she was and not being shown the love and care that every child deserves and needs. It would be understandable that she thought low enough of herself to allow herself to make bad choices for her life.

Now take the same person, only give her a childhood filled with love and praise and kindness. Would that child be as likely to make those same bad choices? or would that child believe in herself enough to know that she deserves better than to strip for a living?

I am in total agreement with both Tara and soxlovesjoy.

Christina isn't blaming her father, but she is understanding how her relationship with her father influenced how she relates to men. I think every woman relates to men in some sort of way based on how the father relationship was.

My father contributed to my feelings of worthlessness. I had to first see how the father relationship affected me before I could move on and grow. I don't blame my father for some of the choices I made, but I can clearly see how that disfunctional relationship lead to some poor decisions.

I don't know about Christina's Dad, but I believe my own father did the best he could do. I'd like to think most fathers do. I did the best I knew how to do in raising my sons. But that doesn't mean I didn't screw up at times and that my screw ups haven't adversly affected my kids.

I think that is all a very normal part of living this life.

Asparagus, you hit the nail on the head. Really being able to learn HOW our parents affected us can assist us in making different choices, both in whom we choose as a partner and how we choose to raise children! There is a point where blame really isn't blame, it's calling a spade a spade and then growing from that point! I don't know if my parents did the best they could or not, they certainly are choosing to stay the same way now as grandparents...but that doesn't really have to mean anything to my life now unless I choose it to. Great posts everyone!!

I also did not see Christina blaming her father. As far as I can remember, she merely was answering Dr. Stan's questions when she remembered that is what her father used to tell her and her sister. Children take things differently and cope with things differently. Some are as lucky to get up and go the other path that is less rocky, but some are not able to right away. Christina is at a much better place than she could be. She realizes that there is a much better life for her, and is at least open to help. I know when I was 20... I did not see things that way. I was not open to anyone "helping" me. So already I think she has a head start. There is nothing wrong with her seeing maybe a hint of why she felt such low self esteem as to sell herself. Parents words DO have impact... understanding is a very important step in change.