Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I know this might be kind of hard to do, but could one of you try to give us a description of the pics? The news conference cut in after only a few minutes of the show, so we missed just about the whole thing here in Colorado. I'm so thankful for the recap though!! I hope there's a repeat down the line, but for now it would be interesting just to get an idea of what the pics were. Thanks!!

The first pic showed Allison's face as she was screaming in rage and fear. It is hard to describe, but you could just feal the pain coming through the pic. The second pic showed a calm and self assured face. Needless to say, the contrast between the two was amazing. I think the artist did a wonderful job expressing feelings through pencil and paper.

After that exerscise, I began to wonder if Allison's process would speed up if she was allowed to spend less time around her housemates. It really seems to set her back because she's expected to keep up the pace with all of them.

When she's allowed her time alone and after she has her exerscises with the coaches, she really soars.

I'm not saying never spend time with them, just like, half the day or something. Either that, or give the rest of the house an assignment to focus on Allison's needs for a day.
I really think it would drive home the point Allison needs to know about caring for herself.

I missed the show, so I am not sure really what happened, but it sounds like it was a good thing for her. I always thought it was the cancer holding her back too, but I guess there is always something deeper just below the surface. I hope she can finally start to become a more sincerely happier person instead of pretending she is happy for others. I wish her lots of luck for the future.

The point of the exercise was for the artist to show two Allisons. The inauthentic (with baggage), and the authentic (without baggage) Allison. The one people see, the one she thinks she successfully covers from people, and the one she needs to work towards once she peels away her issues. Iyanla had a basket of issues on pieces of paper from which Allison had to choose those applicable to her. These were given to the artist to incorporate into the first rendering. Allison as people see her. The first rendering was of Allison smiling, the usual 'warm' smile, but with her issues seeping through the pleasant, "I'm fine", exterior. The result was an angry, painfilled, smiling Allison. Her issues all around her in facial expression and words (from the basket). It was masterful how he was able to capture her true emotions coming through a smiling face. Yikes! I saw the 'IT' that Iyanla was trying to show. With this, Allison saw that her smile or pleasant demeanor is really not covering her stuff. Her stuff is there for all to see. The second rendering was Allison without her issues. At peace with herself with the resulting joy radiating out of her, making for a beautiful pleasant Allison. Wow! I could actually feel the positive energy from that depiction.

This was a powerful exercise for me to watch. I know I dropped a few of my own cover-ups and people pleasing tendencies right then with Allison.

I think this was a good exercise too because it showed Alison that keeping the smile on when that wasn't how she felt wasn't really fooling anyone. I'm not sure I agree with the above suggestion that the household should revolve around her for a day because Alison has had that alot already. The first season people were waiting on her and all kinds of things, and her issue is to move beyond all that and rejoin the living. She has a way of getting people to help her without asking and to draw attention to herself. I'm not totally faulting her for that because when she was actively ill with cancer she had to be taken care of and she probably got used to that, but now she really needs to start disinvesting herself from the sick role now that that's no longer the case.

The one-on-one sessions always do have more impact. I'd like to see more one-on-one's with all of them and less group activities. In the last season that seemed to work alot better. Group sessions should only be used as an adjunct, and I think even more so with this group because they are all so different in how they learn and how they cope with problems.

One thought I had was that maybe the coaches should work with Alison on catching herself when she is smiling when she's not happy and to consciously try to convey better body-language in the same way as they worked on TJs developing appropriate communication skills. This is something that is learned and it can also be unlearned by the same process as she first developed the habit.