Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

TJ has her 'foot in mouth' syndrome again!

I can't believe she bought up Christina's education issues when she was a high school drop out herself?

Did TJ ever go back to finish and what education level did she acquire to manage her own business? I am sure TJ is drawing on her school of hard knocks !

I think she backslid today with her '4 questions' assignment. Hopefully she'll be able to get back on track

It was a rather stupid comment. Even when she was trying to rationalize it later on....

I was very disappointed in TJ today. I thought she had been making such good progress and then she started with the comments again. Also she wanted to be in charge of that project so bad she could taste it. I really like TJ and I know she has it in her to do great things, she just needs to pull forward and use her tools that she was given.

TJ did backslide a tad with the high school conversation. However, since she gets no feedback from any of her housemates how is she to know she is inappropriate?

Christine and Jessica act like teenagers whispering behind the bleachers. They could lovingly confront TJ and that would help the both of them.

The life coaches are right - each woman is there for themselves and do not give a damn about each other.

I don't think that TJ is being inappropriate because she is moving backwards. I think that it came out inappropriately because she hasn't mastered the tools yet. It's only been two weeks and she hasn't had a ton of time to put her new tools into practice. The reason that I say this is because I saw someone who really did understand what the concept of the volleyball net building exercise was and what it meant metaphorically. In my view, she was trying to get Christina to understand it too, but she used a bad example. It's not easy to change a life-long pattern and she is going to make some slip-ups, but she is on the right track.

I also think that because of her ADHD she has trouble working on a large project where the work is divided among teams. She seems like her brain is moving too quickly and she is missing parts of the whole picture because she can't see it in front of her physically. A lot of people need to see things in front of them to get a clear image of what is to be done, and I think TJ might fit in here.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for TJ to have such big challenges to overcome, but I do see that she is genuinely trying to not only work on her goal, but to also help the other women even if doesn't necessarily come out right.

Just my two cents.

judy wrote:

QUOTE:

Christine and Jessica act like teenagers whispering behind the bleachers. They could lovingly confront TJ and that would help the both of them.

I agree with you. I think that TJ would be better at speaking to the other HG's if she was given more feedback. If she was able to recognize on her own her inappropriate words she would be closer to graduation. She has not used the tools very long and needs her Housemates to be more supportive.

I think Christina may not have said anything because she may have felt intimidated by this older women saying this to her. And TJ may have tried to do it as though Christina was her charge..(someone to look out for.) Rather than considering Christina her peer.

This will ultimately be part of Christina's learning experience too... Asserting herself in a positive way.

I really do like TJ... and I can very much relate to her alot. I am currently being evaluated for ADD symptoms (which may be exacerbated by menopause!)... I could really understand why she was bouncing back and forth from one crew to the other. I have a tendency to try to put in my 2 cents pretty regularly...(as my mind races along.....) and it frustrates my family to no end at times! TJ and her story and the tools she's given will be invaluable to me and many who have similar 'quirks'!