Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I can see some of the points that you've made. I am sincerely hoping that the different treatment of the women is because the LCs truly do see the "real" them, and we only see editted bits and pieces. There have been times when I've treated my kids the same, and times when I've treated them very differently, for very different reasons. I think because Lisa has even admitted she's really done no hard work, that working (I think it was only for 5 hours) and coming home to do some work (most of dinner was prepared already) was just part of that particular exercise. And I think Allison isn't really recovered enough. She probably should have waited several weeks more for a much better recovery. I think we wouldn't have seen as much of a fake smile either if she had been feeling better. And I'm sure it is difficult not to have favorites, I do agree that they need to work on that, but we all have people we do click with more than others. I think everything that does happen on the show really does open up dialogue, even if it's some of the viewers that end up getting more out of a particular exercise or interaction! But, I'll definitely be watching to see how it all ends up.

I am now glad that Allison is now aware of how she is being viewed by others. That they have seen something in Allison that she has been holding in. example the picture exercise shows her that she is in pain to the point that it shows. A stranger (artist) sees it, and he has just met her. It amazes me how the experts know exactly what to do, as far as "hitting the nail on the head".

I feel the same way, I just felt bad to say it. She is like really getting on my nerves. There is one thing to have a low self esteem but that lady just seems to be wallowing in it and using it for attention, you would think that once she became aware of it, she would make a concious effort to change it, it is not like she has not been through the process, that girl needs to stop whining and start doing the work.

I haven't seen the so-called fake smile for a few episodes now. On Monday's show, she looked sad, uncomfortable and I didn't once see the smile. Not in group, not when she timed TJ and not during the mystery game.

She looks like a whole different person.
Looks like the darker stuff is coming to the forefront, which is a good thing. Hopefully she'll get some good coaching to help her work through it.

Yes, I agree with that too. Alison has had 2 full-season chances in the Starting Over House (which is more than any other guest has gotten), and I still get the sense that she is hiding out and flying under the radar. She's gotten about as much mileage out of having cancer as she can squeeze out of it and now it is probably time for her to take a more proactive role in her own emotional healing. She strikes me as very passive in that respect; waiting for Iyanla to "fix" her, rather than initiating some goals for herself. Last season we heard a little bit from her about what she wanted to do with her future, but nothing really this season.

It's probably true that she should have waited another season before coming back to give herself more time to heal from surgery, but I'm not entirely sure she's emotionally there yet either.

And regarding the staff playing favorites; sure they are going to feel closer with certain individuals. That's unavoidable, but do they have to be so obvious about it? I'm sure that's very hurtful for those who are not the favorites. Professionals generally modify their actions so as not to convey a less-than status to some of their clients versus others they like more.

It occurred to me that maybe they should hire some additional life coaches. Then there will be better odds of an equal distribution of empathy. I just find it sad to see certain ones being treated as ugly ducklings blaringly contrasting with the ones they put on a pedestal. Even the people who seem hard to love need love too, possibly even more so.

This happens with children as well. I saw a Dr. Phil show in which a mother treated one daughter like gold because she was pretty, and the other like dirt because she was overwieght, had a skin disease, and was not pretty. I felt that sent a very bad message for a mother to reject her own daughter that way when she was supposed to be a role model for her on how to treat people. Dr. Phil was appalled and told the mother she was not helping her to be a better person with all the negative she was conveying. (I don't always agree with him but in this instance I think he hit the nail on the head).

Back to Alison; I would really like to see her start working on her future now.

Perhaps the artist's rendering helped her see the futility of trying to cover up her inside life. So, she's decided to give up the facade. If so, I'm glad for her. It is exhausting to act how you don't feel.