Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Once each of the women have been revealed to their depths, they may begin relating to one another and find a respect and from there a bond. It's only been two weeks...let's wait and see.

Ive noticed it too. This group seems more contentious and outspoken than the last. I think part of it is because they are much more diverse. Some seem to be well-to-do (like Lisa) while others (like Christina) are living from hand to mouth, and they are all culturally quite different.

The other variable is the introduction of conflict coming from the life coaches this season. I think that is keeping them divided and setting the tone for more conflict and inability to form attachments. Some of the exercises encourage competitiveness and the idea that one must either sacrifice oneself or sacrifice ones neighbor but not both (for instance the lifeboat exercise today).

In the other season people were encouraged to help each other with their individual exercises whereas in this seaseon it is frowned upon.

The theme these days seems to be calling people on things rather than learning to compromise, live peacefully together with others, and accept each other's quirks. It's a very uncomfortable and adversarial energy.

I hope that changes in time and that the caring and unconditional love and support we saw in the last season comes back.

This group is very different from all walks of life. I think they have a very hard time relating to one another and being fully supportive. Until you've walked in someone's shoes for a day I do not honestly believe you should be judgmental, and I hope Christina can rise above the comments and just strive to be that woman of honor. I truly feel she is the one who has the most to overcome and will benefit the most from her stay in the S.O. house. I hope she continues to stick it out, foucusing on her, and the reason she is there, for her sake as well as Jackson's. If she succeeds and becomes that woman of honor she can help so many other women who face similar backgrounds, as she is very fortunate to put that lifestyle behind her. I think she is very sincere with her willingness to change, she just doesn't know how to express those emotions. For so long she has had to stuff her emotions away, and has her pride and self esteem damaged. Now she only wants to be accepted, to be loved, saying and doing what others want to hear. Now is time to speak from the heart and truly hit rock bottom. Our thoughts and prayers for this young woman, one is truly becomming an inspiration - if she can overcome this, we are capable of overcoming our pasts as well. And it gives me the strength and determination to start today! Thanks C for sharing yourself and your story with us.

Is it any wonder that the housemates don't jell when they've proven to each other that they can't trust each other? Lisa's read Christina's letters when she left the room and each one of the housematest has made a comment about prostitution that has been pretty insensitive. That's just for starters.

With respect to the life coaches and the exercises, I can't say that I agree with the comment that the exercises are divisive. It's not the exercises, it's the people. They are providing exercises that are designed to try to bring them together and work together as a team. Unfortunately, none of the housemates sees this when the exercises come up. Being in the situation, they're probably somewhat blind to the fact that there's a disconnect.

The initial exercise on the first day was designed for them to work together. Instead there was a competition for the leadership role. This gave the life coaches very valuable information about how this group would interact and what exercises they'd need to develop to help the housemates.

I'm not sure how the lifeboat situation was supposed to have turned out, however, my guess would be that if they were all working together, they would come to a decision that they were all too important not to be on that boat and that if they could not all go, none would go.

chabryl wrote:

QUOTE:

Being in the situation, they're probably somewhat blind to the fact that there's a disconnect.

I'm not sure how the lifeboat situation was supposed to have turned out, however, my guess would be that if they were all working together, they would come to a decision that they were all too important not to be on that boat and that if they could not all go, none would go.
:)

I think that you are right about them being blind to the situation. That was apparent by their reaction at the board of review.

I also thought your thinking with the lifeboat situation was a good one. I hadn't looked at it that way. I had seen it in the same way they did. How can I survive. Not how can we all live.