Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I have noticed something different about Iyanla lately. For awhile she was really pretty judgemental of the people on the show who were there for help (starting mostly with some of the couples) and continuing into the new season of individual women, but then I noticed that she started hugging people alot more and it looked to me like she was trying to be more aware of how things came out of her mouth. I wonder if she read some of the comments from a week or so earlier when a number of us were pointing out our concerns regarding her tougher approach?

I always liked her and was really floored and actually stopped watching the show for several days when I saw how she'd become, but when I went back and watched the new group there seemed to be some changes in the interactions.

In fact it was as if the two life coaches were switching roles, playing "good cop, bad cop". Initially Rhonda was the one who seemed to have less empathy, then Iyanla, and then back to Rhonda again.

I was pretty horrified the other day when Rhonda threatened to kick Lisa out for wearing make-up and a wig (and the exercise probably wasn't a good idea, dressing her like a toddler and making her regress and go out like that in public).

Interestingly with all this humiliating stuff being thought up by Rhonda, Iyanla was back to being loving and kind (even in instances where one would have thought she would not be understanding, as in the case of the woman today who admitted being a prostitute.

Iyanla seems to be toning down her perception that the housemates she works with are not being honest or genuine, and seems to be trying to give them credit for doing something about their lives from this point forward rather than beating them up for what they've done in the past.

I'd be interested to know what others have noticed.

I have noticed the same kind of pattern you have. I keep trying to decide which LC I'd rather have, and Rhonda was real sweet and comforting for a long time. But it seems that Iyanla has now taken that role. I'd like to believe that they are simply reacting to what that specific woman needs to aid in her growth, but it really does seem like overall Iyanla is the loving one and Rhonda is kinda nasty now.

I'm remembering specifically when Kim and 2 other ladies in Season 2 confronted Iyanla because she was treating them pretty harshly. Now I don't think they'd have that problem.

I noticed the same thing too. It was almost as if both of them were going to be real tough this season. I'm glad Iyanla is back to her old self, however. She's my favorite and I always felt she really had a heart for these people.

Today's show (10/17/05) has Iyanla back to slamming does, yelling etc. Although with Allison, I understood the point, I still can not grasp why, in my view, she feels she has to be "superior" to the houseguests. I got this feeling again today on watching the show. Indeed, it could be the exercises that were performed, but I do not understand the slamming of doors and tones of voice that make me feel like she is putting the houseguests down.

I noticed that Iyanla has been very understanding toward Christina, but I'm not sure if she's 100% back to her old self again. She seems to be harboring some anger and I'm not sure where that's coming from this season. She does still talk down to at least some of the houseguests in a very dictatorial manner. She seems to forget that it's their life, not hers. Something must be going on with her personally.

I've also noticed that Iyanla seems to be doing more of the group activities than Rhonda lately.

I have seen Iyanla lecture and speak for ions. Over 10 years ago I went to my first lecture in NYC and Iyanla's style has always been the same, at least to me. She is a tough cookie! I don't see any real difference in her from last season to this one. I always see that the difference in the coaching is a result of the difference in the coachee.

I do however see a difference in the realtionship between her and Rhonda and Dr. Stan. That seems odd. I don't know if that is a production change, or what. But there used to be more unity among those three. Now everything is show separate. I don't like that aspect of it.