Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

I have found with several people in my life that often when a person "attacks" another, it is most often because they are fearful that others will judge what they themselves consider their own flaws. Deflect attention from myself by magnifying and shining a light on someone else.

I have to say that I don't agree with selling yourself to feed your kids either.
To me that is really saying that you want to support your kids and still have a comfortable lifestyle. (1,200 dollars for one hour??? THAT'S COMFORTABLE)

I hope they address this because I was raised by women who worked hard as waitresses,secretaries, factory workers and could keep some self respect intact.
I have to say - I'd rather have a parent slaving away as a waitress than a prostitute.

With that said, I think Christina is a strong woman who proved her intelligence by coming to the SO house. I don't in any way look down on her or think she is less of a person because of her past. But I do know she could have made different choices and SO needs to get off the "you were doing the best you could" routine.
She WASN'T doing the best she could - they can show her that without making her feel guilty.

I think Lisa is very frightened of Christina, as posters have already noted. I think she sees the similarity and is incredibly self-conscious about it. The way she goes on and on about how "cool" it is that Christina is a prostitute. That the impression I'm getting with her behaviour.

Lisa could relate to Christina's letter... maybe that gives some additional insight into her issues/secret.

I transcripted what Lisa said when she sat to take Christina's letter to read it...

"I gotta read this letter, I need this letter from someone."

Jill makes some remark

""Yea but this line is the one that what really struck me.

"I am sorry I used your weakness as a personal gain for me."

Like he invited me to Monte Carlo for the weekend, and then I
sent him an email that I was all excited about going, and then
he said Oh I have a Business trip.... like don't come now.

And I know it is because... For me I just can't have sex for fun.

So, thats what it is..."

One can take from Lisa's comments is that she felt used by this man to some degree.. she is comparing herself to one of Christina's clients when she says she needs a letter like this. Christina's clients had a weakness for companionship and sex while Lisa's weakness is for all things extravagant and worldly... Lisa vulnerability has caused her to feel used in her life by men who could provide these things.

So Christine had sex with clients for money to support herself and her son.

And Lisa had sex with the "jet set" folk for "fun"? (since Dad was otherwise paying tthe bills)

WOW One was for survival and the other? Certainly NOT survival.

Difficult as it is for me, I have to have compassion for Lisa to disrespect herself so much. I can't help but wonder what happened to Lisa to cause her to live her life such. I'm not so much interested in "the secret" but the reason for it.

Ahh...but the secret may be the reason for it.