Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

MEW wrote:

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As for Christine (this should probably go into the Christine board) I give her credit for trying to make ends meet. Her husband left her and her child. Anyone who is a parent, and a devoted one will do just about anything to support their children...Lisa goes to her parents....how easy is that.
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(again, I agree, this should be in the Christina section) I agree with you Mew, but as far as doing ANYTHING for your kids, I know what it's like to struggle as a single parent and never ever would I sell myself. That would be like selling my kids. I was in the military, single parent, couldn't feed my son or put diapers on him. I would get "loans" from the Navy credit union and tell them I was doing home improvements buy up food and diapers and about the time I'd pay that one off it would be time to get anther one. There is always something other than that you can do.

Don't get me wrong, I really like Christina and I have high hopes for her because I really feel she wants to change, I just think there were other options out there.

I watch Lisa and try to remember that this is a woman who, just like all the other SO women who have preceeded her, is in search of healing. But, not since Nyanzia (sp?) in Season 1, have I found it so difficult to find compassion for one of the houseguests.

Having watched since Season 1, I have seen a lot of women struggle to "get it". It has been very difficult for some of them--but I thought I could always see the struggle. I used to get so upset with some posters on the "offical" SO board of last season when some would make value judgements on the women who were simply in the process.

And here I am struggling with Lisa and wanting to make value judgements.

I suppose she must trigger something in me. What do you think she may be triggering in you?

flmedgirl wrote:

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MEW wrote:

QUOTE:

As for Christine (this should probably go into the Christine board) I give her credit for trying to make ends meet. Her husband left her and her child. Anyone who is a parent, and a devoted one will do just about anything to support their children...Lisa goes to her parents....how easy is that.
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(again, I agree, this should be in the Christina section) I agree with you Mew, but as far as doing ANYTHING for your kids, I know what it's like to struggle as a single parent and never ever would I sell myself. That would be like selling my kids. I was in the military, single parent, couldn't feed my son or put diapers on him. I would get "loans" from the Navy credit union and tell them I was doing home improvements buy up food and diapers and about the time I'd pay that one off it would be time to get anther one. There is always something other than that you can do.

Don't get me wrong, I really like Christina and I have high hopes for her because I really feel she wants to change, I just think there were other options out there.

Sorry.....I guess I should have put more into this! I don't believe selling yourself to raise your kids.....in no way or manner.....what I meant was doing jobs that get you through what is needed. I took a cleaning job and sold movie tickets to make ends meet.

By all means......please don't sell yourself to raise your kids. Sorry if this came accross wrong.

Lisa reminds me of girls I went to high school with who took pleasure in exposing other people's secrets, laughed at other girls' misfortunes or imperfections, thought they were better than everyone else. She likes to cast blame on others (i.e. Alison and the wig). In group she appears to be sympathetic and says the right things but when she is with other housemates (that group mentality) she becomes her worst by getting others to join in with her against someone, either by invading their privacy or gossiping about them, probably to make her feel better about herself. I can't wait to see if Rhonda can break through her facade and find out if there's someone of value on the inside. I suspect there is and SO always seems to be able to bring it out eventually.

I wrote something about this over on Christina's forum, but wanted to get feedback about Lisa so.....

Does anyone else feel that Lisa was using Christina's story as a how-to manual? Lisa was so enraptured by the story of the dog hustle that she couldn't stop talking about it all day. She was going on and on about it to TJ out by the pool. The whole way she cheered after looking up the definition of prostitute and gladly accepting that she was a prostitute instead of a manipulator. There is just something so wrong about that thinking. Maybe spending all that time in her baby dress made her want to be a "woman of reputation". Not that it is a good reputation, but it's recognition none the less. Watching the show I just saw light bulbs go off so many times over Lisa's head regarding Christina's story. Maybe I'm biased because I don't understand where she is coming from, but that's what I see.

I think you're on the right track. Lisa is an empty shell and she doesn't know who she is, so she takes the other women's stories/situations and checks it out in her head to see it this is who she might be. It's really sad.