Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

To add to my earlier message, I think that Iyanla lacks the clinical knowledge to work with Kacie and certain triggers of her own are interfering with her perception of her. She seems to feel, "Well I got past it so why can't you?" Her comment that Kacie was manipulating her husband with her tears was completely inappropriate and all it did was discount her once again like she's been discounted all her life. A person who has had that kind of history can't just snap out of it on somebody else's timetable and I'm sure Iyanla took years even to become semi-recovered from her experience, so for her to turn around and expect Kacie to be somewhere other than where she is is unfair. I think comments like that only encourage the survivor to beat themselves up and that's not helpful in moving them forward. Instead of telling her her feelings are wrong or that she's getting too much milage out of her trauma Iyanla could acknowledge where she is in her process and give her concrete suggestions in a loving and supportive way as to how to deal with triggers when they come up.