Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

theTruthspeaks2all wrote:

QUOTE:
Simon and Kacie are gonna rize up everything. Everybody only wanna point out whats wrong with them. We are all hypocrites........what about what is wrong with us??????? I honor all these Individuals courage going on this show 2 make a difference in their own lives as well as all the viewers.......... Go get emmmmmmmmm Tiger

A very wise woman in my life once stated that its too easy to take the things you learn and apply them to others. Always apply it to yourself first!
I agree with you and her and found my life more enriched.

Someone asked in this thread if it was an arranged marriage. I'm willing to bet it wasn't as I recall the parents all being against the marriage because of their cultural differences. Anyone else?

The same thing went through my mind. That no one that incompatble should've gotten married in the first place. But, did Simon and Kacie even have a chance to discover their differences before marrying? Did their parents even allow them enough time alone together to do so. Or, were they very closely chaperoned? And, was this an arranged marriage? After all, certain cultures still adhere to such practices.[/quote]

One of the first things they both said at the beginning was that neither of their families approved of their marriage.

It's unfortunate that because they both so strongly believe that marriage is forever. I think they'll spend an eternity both wishing they could get out and start over.

I, too am in an inter-racial marriage and my husband and I don't share the same religion (or religious background). I had my parents marriage as a role model while my dh had his to learn from. His parents stayed married for 20+ years because they both followed the religous belief that marriage is forver. Because they insisted on staying married they turned out 2 grown kids who BOTH resent them for the pain and anger they each brought to their home. My dh (and his brother) always says that his childhood would have been a lot happier if his parents had split up when he was a kid.

I don't think Simon even takes this whole thing seriously. he's there to shut his wife up and probably to keep from looking like a jerk. What he fails to realize is that he looks like a jerk anyway. Kacie needs to get her daughter and run. She won't ever be able to "fix" herself with Simon around.

That's my 2 cents. You can keep the change.

I don't think Simon is there to actualy fix anything. I think he's there because he wants KACIE fixed, as if he has no real issues.

I'll be the first to point out that marriage is not perfect. But I also know that my husband takes any issues that we have as OUR issues and not MY issues. And you better believe that no one ever has to tell my husband to put his arm around me when I cry. He has enough compassion to do it on his own.

I think IV really hit the nail on te head today by telling Kacie she is manupulative (sp) and then got Simon to not only talk but he cried as he opened up and expressed his rue feelings. Kacie may not like being a 7 year old, but if the shoe fits......

I thought Simon made a real breakthrough. He has been holding so tight to his emotions and has refused to deal with them up until now. I thought it was great that Iyanla held him and basically validated him when he started to let himself feel!!!

But what was with Kacie. She sat next to him like a lump with her arms crossed and shut him out. She has done nothing but complain that he isolated himself - then when he shows feelings she ignores him. She should have been holding him herself....instead she was more concerned about being called out for acting like a 7 year old.

I think Simon has come a long way and I respect him for his progress. I think Kacie is a spoiled brat and she needs to get past herself and invest in the relationship.

Shadow<br><br>Post edited by: campingshadow, at: 2005/09/27 11:56