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Thursday September 29
It opens at the board of review. Michael is crying after he tells Jaclyn that if she’s not ready she should go. Iyanla tells Jaclyn that Michael is free. Jaclyn says she knows. Rhonda tells her that he isn’t going to fall for it anymore and that he just proved that. Iyanla tells Jaclyn that she is a powerful woman who is not in touch with her power because she set it up so no one would tell her the truth of who she is. Everyone bought into her act even around the table. She shows up everyday with her hair done and eyeliner on and doesn’t contribute. She has been there 7 days and hasn’t asked a question. Jaclyn says that was not her intention and she thought her was coming to the house was about Michael being the bad one and her being the victim. Rhonda tells Jaclyn that she was busted by the LCs on day one about that behavior. Jaclyn says she has been acting that way for so long that she doesn’t know how to change it and she was never taught to express herself. Rhonda asks her if she is still punishing Michael. She says since they have been in the house…Iyanla interrupts and says it’s not just about punishing Michael; it’s also about her manipulating him. Iyanla says that when a woman manipulates a man she loses respect for him and with respect goes intimacy and trust. Iyanla says it’s not about Michael but about her and her willingness to stand all the way up in her life for herself. Iyanla asks her if she is willing to let him go to save herself and she says yes and that she knows she has to. She breaks down and Iyanla tells her to tell Michael that she has to let him go to honor both of them. The LCs give her the old adage of if you love it set it free, if it comes back it is yours. If it doesn’t it never was. Jaclyn gets a B and sits down.
Rhonda calls Lou up for review. Rhonda tells him his goal is to love through change. Rhonda asks him why he is there. He’s looking around the room and then he says he is there to set himself free to love and be loved. Iyanla asks him what he is doing well. He says he is communicating. He’s looking at himself and liking himself more than he pretended to before. He says he is proof positive that everything is 100% fine. Rhonda asks him what he still needs to work on. He says he has to work on everything and he is going to always have to keep working forever and ever. He is having a hard time getting his words out, stumbling and acting uneasy at the podium. Rhonda asks him what all his words are about and he is just smiling. Rhonda tells him that they have pointed out that he always says a lot of stuff but he doesn’t answer the question at hand. Rhonda is in the confessional saying that Lou is unable to even answer the simplest direct question. Unless Lou is willing to step up, his stay in the house is in jeopardy. Lou asks if the new question is what is he looking for. Rhonda rolls her eyes and says yeah they will go with that. Lou says skip that one. Rhonda asks him what he is looking for and he just stands there quietly looking around. He says he’s not sure what he is looking for. Rhonda asks him again what the one thing he needs to work on is. He is really silent and after awhile he says he needs help. Iyanla asks him if there is something he is not doing so that help can come to him. He says he doesn’t know. Rhonda asks him if he thinks he is doing everything he can do in the house. Lou is smiling. Rhonda says by his smile she would say no. And he says you would say no? Rhonda says by his smile. She then asks on a scale from A-C what would he give himself. He leans over the podium and says he needs to sort out to see if he can separate one thing. Rhonda asks him what he is doing. He says he’s trying to decided if the heat of the house and his complaining a lot. Iyanla drops her clipboard on the table and says throw me on the floor. Rhonda tells Lou that doesn’t matter.. Lou says that he wants an A and he deserves it because he has been working, breathing, there for his people, there for his wife, and learning to be there for himself. Rhonda says that they are going to find out what the housemates think. Lou says bring it. Rhonda asks what Lou still needs to work on. Troy says he has work to do. Cheryl says he needs to be ok with not knowing things. Kacie says standing up to Jennifer. Simon says his funk scares the hell out of him(Lou). Jaclyn says he needs to not worry about things he can’t control. Michael says that he uses his talking to get away from the subject. Jennifer says that he needs to be more confident in his positions. Everyone says that Lou should stay except Cheryl. She says that she loves him and that she is not sure he is ready. Lou thanks her for her honesty. Rhonda says in the confessional that sure Lou has a lot of heart and a lot of passion. She says she is sure we appreciate that he has a lot to say, but the fact is, is Lou really moving forward. Rhonda says if the board of review was yesterday….whew. Rhonda says the car disturbed her. Lou says he wants to let them know where he got caught up with the car. He says the car is where he faltered and dropped the ball. He says he is ok with him faltering and dropping the ball for a little bit. He asked everyone what he was missing and he realized that when he says he wasn’t going to do it that meant someone else would have to. He says that he realizes that he is not a team player. Rhonda asks him how many times he thinks his wife has felt that way. He says he doesn’t know and that he needs a drink of water. He asks if the ball is in Jennifer’s court right now. Rhonda tells him to just hold and get his drink of water. Lou says he left them out in the cold to stand there and feel defiant. Rhonda says again she wonders how many times Jennifer feels that way. Lou says many times a day maybe even every 8-10 minutes at least. Iyanla says he put it all together when he said if he doesn’t do it someone else will have to. She says that car is you. It is you. It’s not just a car. She says that if he doesn’t’ do it someone else will have to. If he doesn’t take responsibility for every choice, action, or decision, or become accountable for himself and give 100% then someone else has to do it. It’s his life not theirs. He says that it is his life. Rhonda says that she knows it to be true that he was the adult as a child and now that he is an adult he is reverting back to being a child. Rhonda says that he has to grow up. He is 37 and the little boy is still running his life. He agrees. Rhonda says that he has to love the little boy enough to be a man to stand up and take care of himself, his wife and his child. Rhonda says that she doesn’t know if he is truly in a place where he is willing to change his life. The grade she is giving him right now is where she thinks he is right now; and that is a C. She says that he is not being asked to leave and that he has 48 hours until the next board of review to prove he wants it. Iyanla says that his greatest adversary is the greatest teacher and the thing that you don’t want to do it the thing you must do to save yourself. Iyanla says she knows the absolute truth of who he is when she looks at him and that he doesn’t have a clue of who he really is in his soul. Rhonda says that this is a call to his manhood and she wants to know that he gets it. Lou says that he wants to know, too. Rhonda says good. He says he wants to know now and that he doesn’t want to wait. Iyanla says that he doesn’t get to run this game and Rhonda says that part of growing up and being a man is learning patience. Little boys want it now, gotta have it now, want everything now as she slaps her cards on the table. She says that based on what he just did the C is appropriate. Lou says boy I just play into their stuff. The LCs say no and he says that they play into his stuff. They say yes and he says thank you. Iyanla says that a man takes responsibility for everything that goes on his life. Don’t wait to find out what they are going to do because he has 48 hours to show them what he can do. Rhonda asks if he is with her and he says maybe. She says let’s see what you’ve got in 48 hours.
Michael says in confession that it’s amazing that so much force and energy is pulling him apart and that he doesn’t know how he is going to get through it, but he needs to. He says he believes in the saying if you love something set it free. He thinks that Jaclyn needs to find out who she is because she will never find true happiness until she is comfortable with herself.
Jaclyn is sitting on the bed with Kacie. Kacie tells Jaclyn that what is really good is that she was able to admit that she knows what she did. She tells her that is the hardest part but now that she knows everything is going to be fine after this. Jaclyn says she feels like she hit rock bottom and Kacie says she knows how that feels.
Michael is standing in the doorway and Troy is telling him that he did good and he did what he needed to do.
Jennifer is with Lou and she says don’t have a tantrum please. Lou is in the confessional saying that he doesn’t know what they want. He doesn’t know if they want him to want something. He doesn’t know what he is supposed to be getting that he is getting yet. Jennifer is in the confessional saying that as far as Lou getting a C, she sees him being flippant about exercises and rebellious and childlike in his behavior. Jennifer asks him if he is questioning the grade and he says he’s not going to question it. Jennifer tells him that if he is having trouble that he should get some feedback from Rhonda. He says no, he doesn’t know, maybe he will. He says that he couldn’t stop feeling like smiling. He doesn’t know if he is trying to cover something up and he needs to figure it out. Jennifer asks him how he felt. He said happy and empowered. He felt like he could do anything and there ain’t no mountain high enough. Jennifer asks him why he thinks he attitude and grade are so far off and he says that he can’t even imagine. She asks him if he wants to leave and he asks leave here? He says he doesn’t know. There is part of him that thinks thanks, a lot, you just missed me, but he doesn’t know what to do so he says he is going to sit by himself and find out. Jennifer is in the confessional saying that something has happened and that maybe the car exercise completely triggered him and he’s reverted back to this other place because he is more Louie than Mr. Lou and she is concerned he will be asked to leave.
Cheryl and Troy are sitting out by the tennis courts. Cheryl says that she doesn’t deserve Troy. He says she said that when they first met and he wants to know why she feels that way. She says she is ugly inside. He asks why and she says because she is ugly. He says not even close and to tell him something. She says she has been using the men in her life to dump on. She says she is like the black widow in that she seduced them and then kills them. Troy says look what you did to your first husband – she married him, dumped him, dishonored him, moved in with his first wife and became best friends with her. He says that if had known about that behavior he would have taken longer to say I do. Cheryl says that it was about the seduction. She asks how she seduced him and he said she didn’t do anything to get him. She asked how she really got him and he said she used sex. She asks him after he got her how did she burn him and he says with sex. She says that she knows that now and it is ugly. Troy says that it is ugly and that he feels sad for her. Cheryl says that is the codependency now and to let her have her crap. She says that she has beaten him down like her mother has beaten her down and that she has turned Troy into her. She says that she is sorry and asks if he forgives her. Troy says that he doesn’t forgive her right now, no.
Jennifer tells Lou that she is glad that she didn’t get called up tonight. Lou asks her if she is scared. He says it’s weird he knows. Jennifer says that she is lost. He asks her to describe lost. She says she’s just not sure right now and he says that’s ok. She says she doesn’t feel good. Lou tells her that he would like to be the first to know. Jen says she wants to be the first to know and Lou says then after you, when ever you find out. She is sniffling and he asks her what makes her cry when she thinks about it. Does she picture anything or hear anything. She says she always feel so outside of everyone.
Simon is in the confessional saying the experience was very deep for him. He says that he and Kacie are at the peak right now of their emotional relationship. Kacie says that this time is very rough for everybody and they should try to be sensitive to everyone. She says they shouldn’t have any unnecessary arguments. She tells Simon she loves him and says goodnight. She turns and asks him if he is wide awake and tells him he better go to bed. He says he feels like all the toxins and funk removed. They say their love yous and go to bed. Simon says that he feels free and that a lot of his barriers and walls are coming down. He says he wants to be heard and have his voice shine through the darkness.
Michael knocks on Jaclyn’s door and has a rose in his hand. He asks if she would like to go out on a date because there is a girl names Jaclyn that he wants to get to know. She gets all teary and they have a long hug. He then takes her outside. They sit down and she says that she doesn’t know how she is supposed to be in the house if they aren’t even a couple. She says she feels like she should leave even though she is ready. She feels like she doesn’t feel like anyone wants her there including Michael. Michael tells her that she has been relying on people her whole life to support her and now she has to do it for herself. She says that Iyanla seems to think she is a horrible person. Michael is in confessional saying that he wants Jaclyn to be Jaclyn. He wants her to be confident in who she is and not have to compromise who she is for anyone. No one. Michael starts crying and points to her heart and asks what is in there. She says that she doesn’t feel good about herself and that she isn’t blaming it on anyone else. She asks him what he is feeling and he says that he is so pissed off right now. She asks him why and he says that he doesn’t feel like after all this she doesn’t. She interrupts and says that it is not going to happen over night and this is a process. She says she has to learn it and she is trying and that he doesn’t know how bad she wants it. She asks him if he knows how hard it was for her to stand at the podium and say that she is going to let him go, because it is the last thing that she wanted. But now she isn’t scared that she isn’t going to get him back she is afraid she will never know who she is. She has to be more concerned about that than getting her back. Michael says he, too, is afraid she might never find out who she is.
Back with Troy and Cheryl. Troy asks Cheryl if when she asked to come back after the separation if she thought that was easy for him. She just expected him to let her come back. He says she ripped the sh** out of him and it F’ing hurts. She says I know, I know. I’m sorry. She says you have to know that I just realized I did this. Troy says that if she stood up tonight and said all this that she would have gotten an A. She says that she just realized it and he says he knows. He says that is why they are talking and they needed to do this years ago. She says it’s ugly. He says he feels better just knowing. She says she can change it now. Troy tells her that he forgives her now, that he forgave her before, but he just wanted her to sit in it and suffer and realize what she did.
Lou asks Jen why she is frustrated. She says it’s because they have been enabling each other. She says she feels like she wears the pants and he lets her. She says that as far as the trust thing goes that is her issue. She doesn’t trust herself first and foremost, but she doesn’t trust anyone else either. She says she feels like Lou feeds that because he is not honest all the time or trustworthy all the time. He asks for an example and that he is not denying anything just asking a question. Jennifer takes it as Lou trying to pick a fight they have already been through. Lou is in the confessional saying that he and Jennifer listen and ask questions with their defenses up and they listen for agreement. Because they never hear the agreement, they cancel each other out. He asks why that makes her mad. She says that it is so redundant to have conversations that they have had and she is angry that she has to tell him what he has done to make her not trust him. He says that he hears that she is angry and wants to see what is underneath. He says that he is here right now and he wants. Jennifer cuts him off and asks him if he realizes how disconnected he would feel from her if she asked him what she had done to make him feel like he can’t step into his manhood. Lou asks what he does to make her not trust him. Jennifer rolls her eyes and Lou says he is going to see if he can tell her. He asks her if that is a question that she is asking him and she says no, baby. Jennifer is in confessional saying that neither one feels like they are being heard, nor does she feel like they are getting anywhere. She thinks they both feel frustrated. Lou tells Jennifer to ask him a question and she says that she doesn’t need to ask him a question.
Jaclyn is sitting on Michael’s lap saying that what she really feels like doing is crawling in a hole and dying. He asks what that would do. She says nothing and that she is just scared. Michaels hugs her and holds her close as she says that she just feels scared and alone. She has never felt more alone than she does now in her entire life. Michael asks her why she feels that way. She says it’s because there is nobody that knows her. She says she hasn’t allowed people to know her because she doesn’t know who she is. He asks how he can help her. She says she doesn’t know. He says that he will help her try if she wants him to, but that he will also allow her to do it without him. She says that she really wants to do it on her own. Michael says good. He tells her that he will be there for her if he needs her. He goes inside and she lays down on the chaise and cries. She is in confessional saying that she feels so alone right now and that she has never felt more alone in her entire life. She says that she just wants to pack her bags and leave.
Lou asks Jennifer what her deal is. She says that her deal is that it is so much less about the issues they are talking about and more about the frustration. He breaks in and says he just asked her what her deal was and if she can just sum it up, because if she can’t then the conversation is cut off. Jen tells him that he is having an argument with himself and he won’t listen to her. She tells him that he is not doing the communication stuff at all. He says that it is not true and gets up. She says and now you are just gong to walk away and he sits back down but across from her. Lou says that he feels like they are going in circles and he is not the one with the problem. She tells him that he is not practicing the tools and that she needs him to do that. He goes through the list and says that he wants to actively listen and she says that is exactly what she wants him to do. He says that at which time he will empathize and reflect her emotions. He then asks her if she wants to leave or if she still wants to hang out with him. She says she is going to go take a shower soon. Lou goes and sits beside Jennifer and says how about we just sit in silence since talking doesn’t seem to be working. Jennifer just looks at him. Lou tells Jennifer she doesn’t trust him. She says that if someone had asked her if she trusted anyone before Lou came along she would have said no. She says did she trust when she was two, probably. It was the life experiences that she has had that make her not trusting. She said that her parents have made her untrusting and some other things that she has told him about and that all those things have led her…Lou bursts out with blah, blah, blah, and says he doesn’t care. As he gets up he says that he loves her so much and he can’t wait to have a great thing with her. He says that it just isn’t happening right now and he feels he is trying to be there for her. He says he deserves her trust because he is her best friend. He is the best thing that she has got next to herself. He tells her that she is really faltering. He says maybe he will talk to her before they go to bed
Michael and Troy are in their room lying down and Troy asks Michael if he is tired. He says a little bit. Troy says that after what he just went through with Cheryl he is wide awake. Troy says that he wasn’t buying the cry. Michael agreed. Troy says that is the first time he has seen a fake cry out of her and he was not a believer when she was up at the podium crying. Michael says he felt that way when Jaclyn was up there. Troy agreed he saw that from Jaclyn, too. Michael is in the confessional saying that he feels like Jaclyn is on the verge of a breakthrough. He says he saw a lot of hurt in her tonight, but he doesn’t think it has happened yet. Troy says that he thinks she is scared. Michael says that he has seen her be passionate, seen her hurt, and seen her cry, and he knows what it looks like. Michael says that she is still holding back and not giving into the fact that she is scared of being who she is. She is still worried about her appearance and how she looks. Troy says maybe she is terrified of something else. Michael says that maybe she kind of does know who she is and the people who have seen haven’t liked her and so she doesn’t want to be that person. He says that she is going to have to find out.. They show Jaclyn outside crying.
Lou is going inside and Jennifer says hey, Lou. He says that is the old hey, Lou. He says that she is getting abandoned right now and she is freaking out about it. Jennifer says no. She says that for her to be sitting there talking and for him to just say blah, blah, blah and get up and walk away. Lou says that she wasn’t giving it to him. Jen says that she was asking to talk about her situation today with Rhonda. He asks her if she has done that and then Lou says Jennifer, hmmm-mmm. Jennifer asks him what he is giving her and doesn’t she get to decide if he is giving her what she wants. Jennifer is standing up and Lou gets down on his knees in front of her and asked her what she wants. She says she wanted to talk to him about what happened today. He said she did. She said she wanted him to hear what she had to say. He said he did. She said she wanted him to validate her feelings and he said no. Jennifer says the struggles they have is the same fight over and over coming out in different issues like their daughter and their finances. She thinks they are really struggling. Jennifer says that she is going upstairs and that she is not going to hug him right now. He says ok, to be continued. She says maybe as she walks up the stairs. He goes into the house downstairs and shuts the door.
Previews: Lou doesn’t know if he can stay in the house. Dr Stan asks Lou what he is freaking out about. Lou says he doesn’t know why he got a C. He says he doesn’t know what everyone else is seeing that he is not seeing. Jennifer says in confessional that right now Lou is confused and uncomfortable. Jaclyn and Michael’s relationship is on the rocks. Jaclyn says to Michael he looks like he is holding a lot of things inside. Michael is in the confessional says they don’t know how to handle the situation right now. And they are trying to figure each other out. Kacie is pushed to the edge. Kacie is tearing up saying she doesn’t know if she is ready for this,
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