Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Week ONE

Cheryl & Troy have been together for 15 years & their Goal in the SOHouse is "MENDING A WAR TORN MARRIAGE."

Cheryl & Troy met when they both served in the Air Force & married one month before he had to leave for DESERT STORM. Cheryl has 'stored' her feelings from DESERT STORM 'til now.

Their SON is the center of their lives ... and Troy gets very emotional whenever speaking of him. Cheryl feels angry when Troy gets emotional. She is demeaning to Troy - using "Guilty before Innocent" on him.

Cheryl moved in with a man she met in a CHATROOM! Their SON went back & forth living with both Cheryl & Troy during this time.

They have learned they must set-up BOUNDARIES and along with that, Troy has stated he is willing to quit CHATROOMS. (It seemed to me that Cheryl needs to 'quit CHATROOMS' but she is jealous whenever Troy is doing the same!)

Cheryl did not come from a Loving Family - and that does reflect on how you live your life now.

IMO, I thought the "SANDBOX EXERCISE" was senseless! It looked like it was a waste of time doing it unless they did more than we saw.

IMO, I think SOME Couples stay together just because they think they SHOULD... living on Memories of the times in their lives when they WERE In Love with each other. THAT is what I think about this Couple from what I saw in the Week ONE.

*Out of the Four Men in these Couples, TROY would be the guy I would choose to be with.........





BanditaHD<br><br>Post edited by: Halfdollar, at: 2005/09/26 02:13

Cheryl seems to have to much anger to fix anything right now.

It will be interesting to see what happens when they come to there RB. I have a feeling one of them will either be put out of the house or on probation

Halfdollar wrote:

QUOTE:
IMO, I think SOME Couples stay together just because they think they SHOULD... living on Memories of the times in their lives when they WERE In Love with each other. THAT is what I think about this Couple from what I saw in the Week ONE.

hd, I sooo agree! What I see when I see Cheryl and Troy is a man who loves his wife so much he'd do anything to fix their marraiage, and a woman who has already moved on and doesn't know how to love her husband anymore. I feel bad for Troy, he seems like a really good guy.

I was a little shocked when Rhonda called Cheryl an &quot;ice princess&quot;, but after I thought about it, it made sense. Troy seems like such a nice guy who wouldn't leave because of their son. Yet, he will probably cheat on her if she doesn't soften up a bit and let him be a man.

When Cheryl first showed up at the SO house, I remember thinking, &quot;THIS one's going to have a real hard time here.&quot;
Just the way she held herself, her expressions during group therapy and the way she always checks everyone else's opinions before making her own.

I really wish we had more time with these couples. I think we would understand more about them if they had more time to go through their childhoods. I'm thinking Cheryl had very critical parents, which is why she chose such a softy, like Troy. Also why she broke down so hard at BoR - she said it herself, &quot;I don't feel like I'm being heard.&quot;
Children who were raised by critical parents, usually feel this way.

Cheryl gets under my skin - at times she seems like the most childish person there - and she's the oldest.
I think the reason she's so reactive and tough is because deep, down inside, she's really as big of a softy as Troy. And because of pride, she doesn't want to admit that they are one in the same.