Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

show recap, 9-22

We return to the three coaches discussing Deborah's situation. Stan thinks that she is like a regressed child, telling you one thing, and forgeting the words. He mentions she mike be biochemical, and her behavior might be something she can't control. No mention of any diagnosis, or any other label.

All three agree that she should stay. Oh well--

Deborah is on the phone calling a cab. She is packing, for the 6th or 7th time, and no one is making an effort to stop her. In fact, Jennifer is telling everyone, don't stop her... Iyanla talks to her and tells her group is going on, and to make the right choice. She tells her it is not about sex, but the inconsistancies in her story that has people upset and concerned.

At group, Iyanla tells the group to look at Chloe. No makeup, hair not combed, in her pjs, speaking her mind. If they all could learn from Chloe, they could be more real, to themselves and others. (I added that part). Kim has her purse in group, and said it is to keep her stuff. Iyanla wants the women to define their stuff. Sinae says it is false hopes and holding to friends that are not really hers to have. Towanda says it is not to forgive, or trust. Iyanla wants her to drop and do push ups. She wants her to feel the pain, feel the weight she carries aound. Iyanla says what will you be without the pain.

Iyanla tells Towanda that her father's life and infidelity is none of her buisness. He is her father, not her husband. She says you get what you give, and Towanda asks when is it enough?

Deborah left, no goodbyes. The women wonder if she is really gone, and if she will come back.

Rhonda has Josie define stability. Job, daycare, money, home are her responses. She says her mom and dad did not provide a stable homelife for her. She put all her hopes and trust in her Grandma. Iyanla asks if Josie wants Chloe to only have her to trust. Rhonda wants her to find the real Josie, not the legacy Josie of bad history, and bad choices.

She meets with a career counselor. Josie has 2 and 1/2 years of college classes, in the field of pre-veternarian science, she says she loves animals. We already know that, don't we! She takes a personality test, and gives us some of her results. I took that Meyers-Briggs test, maybe I will start a different thread with those results. I'm an E, go figure!!!!! There are three more letters to the results. Josie is an EJ, and they didn't show the rest.

Towanda is at the mall to people watch. She is giggling, because she and her husband do that all the time! She was so harsh and judgmental, with the comments about their personality just on how they dressed. She knows that there is cause and effect in these exercises, and she is petrified about what will come next!

Of course, she has to get in the outfit from yesterday and go out in public. She says she feels humiliated. Iyanla says she is emotionally dishonest. After some drilling, she says what Iyanla was coaching her to say. Towanda says she doesn't care about Iyanla's feelings she says what she needs to say, what does wearing these clothes have to do with her feelings for her father? She also realizes that no one seems to notice her, or care what she has on.

Sinae meets with Natalie, a young woman with a sight disability, who lives on her own. They quickly bond, and they go out to lunch. They don't do things on their own, they do have help, taxi drivers, waitresses, but they get the job done!! Sinae seems so happy and so full of hope, and the possibilites for her own self.

Josie is on the phone with her mom, and she tells her she is moving. Her mom promises she will not move far, she is not going to Florida like she planned before Chloe was born. Josie is crying, and doesn't want to lose what connection she has now her mom.

Jennifer says a small part of her misses Deborah, and something about her pushes her buttons, and forces her to deal with her own issues. With her gone, she doesn't know how she will get to that place again. Don't worry, Iyanla will get you there!

Next show's teasers show the ladies asking if Deborah is gone for good, Josie was told to run away by her mother, and Sinae is asked if she is ready to get dumped.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thnak you thank you thank you thank you thank you


I really get spoiled by you hsmom

thank you thank you thank youthank you

Curly

nice work hsmom
TV gal has nothing on you
Now I will not worry if I happen too miss a show.

Hugs

I am telling you hugs... she is the best in recapping the show......

Curly

Good morning ladies! If you haven't guessed, sometimes I put the stories back together, instead of telling you all the editing the show does. Okay?

The women meet with Iyanla to discuss Deborah. They said they had fun the night before, and they thought she was just crying wolf again about leaving. Rhonda confirms that she is not coming back. Kim wonders if it was her fault, and Rhonda is sad that she left. The coaches say do not take on this guilt, she had her own issues. Iyanla asksif that reminds them of anyone you know(fathers of course!)

Iyanla says you act out with those you are closest to. You can be yourself, and they love you for who you are. Iyanla wants the women to know there is nothing wrong with them. There is just some things they have to discover, mend, or learn to love about themselves. I liked this statement.

Sinae has to invite her boyfriend Matt to the SO house this weekend. She says Matt's folks love her for her, and she wishes her folks treated Matt the same way. All day she tries to call. He nver returns the phone call, between his work and sleep schedule. They finally connect and he is not jumping up and down for joy that she called, and rushing to her side. He will try and come next weekend, and Sinae is very cold to him.

Josie meets one on one with Stan for the first time. She gives a recap of her life story, and she says that her mom was a bartender, and they lived right by the bar. Her last memory of her father was when they were both drunk, and fighting. Her mom told her to run away. So little 5-yr old Josie and her 5 yr. old German Shepard dog who protects her, left the fighting. Stan asks how would she feel if Chloe was ever in that situation. Stan says Josie's main concern is for Chloe, and she also needs to find a fulfilling career.

Jennifer wears a necklace of all the negative thoughts she wrote on her blocks the other day. She says she doesn't know who she is without all of this stuff. Kim lists her broken relationships, They include a church, father, step-mom, step kids, sister, 3 friends. She is to do an exercise in self-awareness. Kim has to pick 3 people from her list of 10 broken relationships, and ask some questions. What's the nicest thing I have done for you? What are some qualities you love about me? What are some things you think I need to work on? Something about hurtful things, and challenges, I didn't catch it all.

Her mom was very superficial and said external things for qualities, like she dresses colorfully. What is that? Come on mom, lets get deeper. And this is Kim's one healthy relationship! Talking about material things, I just noticed her wedding ring, what a rock!! She has not said too much about her husband.

Her dad is happy when she buys him gifts, and sad when she doesn't send him gifts for birthday and Christmas. So what, he sees the importance she places on material things, and wants some of that stuff? I think he wants her attention, more than anything. And her respect. Okay, enough of me trying to be a life coach! Her dad says she is a good mom, and will always be her little girl. Her dad and Kim both cry when that is said.

Josie meets with an animal trainer. He trains animals for entertainment, TV, movies, and comercials. She has so much fun! She works with an elephant, lions, and a bear. She feeds a bear marshmellows from her mouth! She clearly is getting such a charge of of this, and is not afraid. She shovels manure, and gives Nellie the Elephant a bath. Rhonda picks her up, and she asks her on a scale of 1-10, how was it? She says 10,10,10!!

Sinae says to Rhonda she is not ready physically to see Matt, but emotionally she is. She could see herself married to him. They had no closure, and she needs to know where they stand. They have been apart for nine months. She would be okay if they were just friends, but she needs to know how he feels. Rhonda wants for Sinae a college education, and a man, not a boy, to love her and be her partner, not a crutch. Sinae cries and says she wants that too, and she doesn't think she has that kind of love from Matt.

Iyanla meets with Kim to discuss the assignment. Kim was supposed to ask a third person, one of her friends. Iyanla says she did not complete it, and she has to write letters to her mom and dad. The comment her dad said about Kim being her little girl was about him, not her. She should get more detailed answers. How was she supposed to get better answers on the phone, if she was not to comment on the responses Iyanla probably planned to have her write all along, and did not expect her mom or dad to say what she wanted them to say on a phone call. Iyanla says Kim is not ready to hear the truth. She asks Kim if possibly her view of her father is distorted. I bet there is a lot of hurt and longing on her father's part, too. I think with that generation of men, they were taught to hide their feelings, to be the strong man. They have lost that connection with their daughters because of their unwillingness to share their pain and joy. There I go again, life coaching!!!

Josie tells her mom she finally feels she has a purpose. I see graduation on the horizon for Josie! That was her last step, right?

The next show welcomes a new roommate. They ladies are already ganging up on her, and harshly judging her. not open to her and her situation.

I have got my dad visiting for the weekend, so don't know if I will be around here. I have a few questions for you, dad.............

That's WAY COOL hs!

Boy, so much in one day...it gives me the thoughts I have often....do this, do that, not like that, do it this way, not that way....

Ya' know, the feeling sometimes that no matter how you do something it's not going to be the right way! Like be "honest" but then after you are "how could you say that?"

Do this, don't do that Syndrome!!!