Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Hello all you lovely ladies-
I'm posting this much to my dismay.

We have been dealing with a family member's drug addiction and it's taking it's toll on me.

Recently one of my BIL informed my husband and me that he was dealing with an addiction to crack. He spoke to us about the program is was in and he seemed to be doing well.

But about a month ago he hit rock bottom (or so we thought)! He put his family in serious danger and almost killed himself. There was a family meeting/intervention and he was off to a treatment center.

I am really scimming over a lot of details cause I still can't believe it all.

This has really torn his family apart - wife, teenager and young adult children. Not to mention his siblings.

We have tried to be there for all of them. Husband and me spending time with SIL and my kids spending time with their cousins. I have been encouraging and supportive and a good listener for my SIL but it just doesn't feel like I'm doing enough.

She is very grateful and she's a wonderful human being but she was been put thru the wringer most of her life. She is seeking professional help in dealing with this situation.

My BIL is not doing well in this rehab center. He just recently had his privledges (the little that he had) taken away and he just doesn't seem to get it.

My SIL is so frustrated and tired of being his "mama". I'm afraid she has thrown in the towel. I don't blame her the least bit. Only she was had to live with this and many other offenses against her.

I'm working really hard to keep everything in balance. In the past I have always invited other troubled people into my life and have gotten so caught up in their problems. But this is very different and to be honest, new to me. Knowing how much to reach out without falling in myself is a new and on going goal for me.

I just needed someplace to lay my head and cry awhile.

Thank you for being such a kind and loving group of ladies, and I do mean ladies.

RC

I don't know why this posted twice!?!?

Just ignore it and maybe the extra one will go away

"Tara, oh Tara", was heard echoing down the halls.

left you a message on the other post aresee.

I"m so sorry but I just deleted the other one by mistake!!!

so sorry for what you are going thru. It seems to me you are doing exactly what you are supposed to do. By being supportive and being there for those that are being directly effected. Try not to take it on as your problem. It is totally up to the addict to truly change.

Prayers to you and yours.

Teach - sorry about the double post. I would have loved to read your comment.

Maybe you could post again when you have time or you can PM me.
but thank you for replying just the same.

My father was an alcoholic and so I grew up with that bologna to deal with. But it took this situation with my BIL to really stand my ground about family addiction with my kids.

My kids ages range from 23-19. So two are legal drinking age and two are not. I know they ALL drink and I have always talked to them about the pitfalls involved. But after spending two days with my Sil and kids I came home and had a series of hardline talks with my children. To sum it up I pretty much told them that they have a target, bullseye mark on them for this addiction and that I will not, can not allow any drinking on any level. I went down the line of family members who are addicts, not just on both mine and my husbands side but in ALL of their grandparents families also!

I know that my babysitting days are long gone but I have to drill this message home for my own sake. My kids are good kids but they are normal and sometimes when one least expects it this ugly monster called addiction can grab a hold of you and ruin your life.

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. I knew I would find comfort here.

RC