Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

So, as many of you know, I moved down here to Austin from Illinois about a month ago to start grad school. Kinda my own little SO going on in my life right now I guess you could say. Anyways, I really love Austin, grad school (well, most of the time!), the last month has been full of highs and lows I guess you could say.

The hardest thing??? Living alone... this is the first time ive every lived alone, im so used to having multiple roommates, or living with my family. I hate coming home to an empty apartment, it is depressing! I'm pretty much gone all day during the week busy w/school and clinic stuff, and I have made some good friends, and on weekends i do go out with them at night, etc. But really I am at a loss on how to handle being by myself. Weekends are the hardest. I seriously spend most of my time talking on the cell to friends or family, or online or something. Do any of you out there also live alone, have you done it in the past?? Have advice on how to better deal?? Practical tips? Im going to start talking to myself any day now

I'm a big fan or Rhonda's Fearless living books, theyve really changed my life and are part of the reason im down here in Austin!!! I know I know, I am resposible for my own happiness... blah blah blah, but at this point im in need of concrete advice. my powe bill is going to be outrageous because i cant stand silence... i always have to have music or the tv on in the backgound.

..whoa didnt realize how long and venting like this got, sorry people!

Kelly

Hi kelar,

I can't help on the living alone situation, but have a comment about the silence. I know when I drive home, with the radio on, I am attuned to the song. When I turn it off, I can really come up with some good ideas, plans, and I rehearse future conversations I want to have. I pray too, and really the silence opens my mind to possibilities. Some times, I have to turn on the radio, because of all the thoughts pouring in, I can't concentrate on the driving!

So, my point is, this silence thing just might work for you, if you give it a chance. You might miss it down the road with a hubby, house full of kids, and maybe pets and neighbor kids in and out!

Just my thoughts for you.

Kelly ~~~~

I'm[size=5]

"HOME

ALONE"[/size]

too!

I will talk to you about it later ~~~~ but, rest assured, you WILL get used to it ~~~~ just like anything that is 'different.'

I will be in touch with you to talk about it ~~ I have been on "living alone" for about a year and a half now ~~~ for the first time in my life!

Hang in there Sweetie!
Spend some Volunteer Time at one of the nearby shelters for the evacuees on your weekends, painting the little girls' toenails (like PNanny is intending!) and like OPRAH did!

Take care now.... you have a weekend coming up!

BANDITAHD4EVA!

Thanks for the thoughts guys, it nice to hear im not the only one HD I hope it gets better, im so used to lots of noise, lots of people being around, that its just really strange!! It honestly had never ocurred to me until i moved down here that i really dont know how, dont like to be alone, dont really know how to handle time alone being just with me and my thoughts. It reminded me of Denise being locked in that white room with the paint all by herself... ok maybe not quite that extreme! I had never realized how much i depend on other people to keep me entertained! I mean im around people all day during the week yet within an hour of being alone in the apt im lonely, and during the day on sat and sun is the worst. i think maybe i might get a cat, that would at least be some company.

Kelly

Thats funny Kel..I was thinking of asking you if you could have an animal there ...A cat would be nice because they dont mind being alone while your gone, but are sweet and affectionate when you return...Learning to love the quiet is a good thing...It calms and centers you..I moved out of a house which had 35 foster children come in and out of it for 10 years...into an apartment on an extremely quiet lake...with none of the ppl who once lived at the other place...But I was seeking the quiet, unlike you...Try not to program yourself with negative thoughts of being alone for fear you will start to really beleive its bad, thereby creating something that is a challenge bigger than need be...Your'e doing great..Hakuna Matada

i totally sympathize, i moved from one coast of canada to the other to start grad school, and am also living on my own for the first time. generally, it sucks. it's so lonely. i too spend all my weekends on the phone or online talking to ppl at home. and, concerning pets, i did just that last week: no pets allowed in my bldg. and so i left my cats at home, but i went a got a little guinea pig last week and even that is better than nothing. i can't tell you how many times in the last weeks before i got her that i said that exact phrase "at least it will be some company..."

it's been a bit of a joke amongst us at the university that depression is all part of the career of an MA student...living alone doesn't help for sure.