Starting Over Talk - Peer Coaching Support Site

Now this is funny


A TRIP TO THE ZOO

>>A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.She was wearing
>>a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps. He was wearing
>>his usual jeans and T-shirt.
>>
>>As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a
>>large, silverback gorilla.
>>
>>Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.He jumped on the bars,
>>and holding on with one hand and 2 feet he grunted and pounded his
>>chest with his free hand.
>>
>>He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress. The
>>husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He
>>suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by
>>puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and
>>the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake
>>the dead.
>>
>>Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to
>>show a little more skin.
>>
>>She did... And the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.
>>
>>"Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he
>>said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing
>>flips.
>>
>>Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the
>>cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.
>>"Now. Tell him you have a headache."

Nadia...............

Thanks for the laughs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep 'em coming!!!!!!!!

LOL

Nadia... that was funny... still LOL.

SOUTHERN GRANDMOTHER ON THE WITNESS STAND

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly,
elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a
young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your
wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a
big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to
do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was youngster, too.
He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated
on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him. The
defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and,
in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

TigerRose...you may be the only other one on the board who will understand this one....

A young Dundee mill worker goes to the registrar to post "banns"
(notification of intent to marry)...The registrar asks, "are you a spinster?" With great indignation the girl retorts..."No! I'm a weaver!...The registrar says..."lassie, are you ignorant?"
She says..."aye, fower month."

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I like the one about the southern elderly lady on the witness stand. My office mate and friend was just appointed to Judge in our county. I read it to her and she cracked up.

The number 1 rule they teach you in law school is as a lawyer never ask a question to a witness that you do not know the answer. If you do, you usually get burned. Sometimes it is very tempting, but, I try to resist.<br><br>Post edited by: Debby, at: 2007/02/09 16:47